OUr Fat kids

[Laurenfra]

Last week Heidi had a rant about kool aid in a bottle for kids. Now it is my turn. For those of you who dont know I am running a summer program for a local city. In Texas all school aged children can get free breakfast and lunch at their local school in the summer so all camp kids eat in the local cafeteria. Every cafeteria has a tv. As I watch these kids they look like zombies shoving food in their mouths. Most kids finished everything on their plates.
At 2 meals I turned off the TV and many began to complain about the food.

When I was a child there was 1 or 2 fat kids now 3/4 are fat. Not a little overweight FAT.
Rant over

[dotsamantha]

Re: OUr Fat kids

Isn't it fascinating how much we tune out and just shovel it into our mouths?

[LC_Dave]

Re: OUr Fat kids

When I was little I was a fat kid, and it has totally F'ed me up for life.

I saw Dr. Phill today, and he says when parents fight, they open up the slate on kids and write who they are, making a permanent change to the kids.

I don't care where is happens, parents, school yard, summer camps, when you constantly get harrassed and bullied and be-littled as a child, that stuffs stays with you forever.

So you get a situation with me, who was in top 2% intelligence wise in my high school, I am now 30, no bachelors degree, working in a job I hate, that is below what I am capable of.

I have a lot of ability and talent, that is going to waste. Because society wanted to treat me like trash. It takes a lot for me to acknowledge this (because I hate myself so much).

Now you say 3/4 kids are fat, that's messed up, will that happen to them too ? What is our society going to be like in 30 years ?

[divaindubai]

Re: OUr Fat kids

OH dave

man

I can totally relate to you........
I wouldn't consider myself as a "fat" kid, but more of one that had to watch her weight, and I would have been one of those kids that you would notice was not a beanpole skinny kid, but had maybe a layer of fat on me.

My family is so dysfunctional it is sickening. Maybe not as dysfunctional as others might be, but only now as an adult and as a mother I can see where my parents / family went wrong.

From a small child, I was called "pork chops" by my mom's younger brother and her two young sisters, and my "skinny" older sister was called String beans. They always called me this.

Then it went from that to my grandmother living downstairs in our house in her own suite, and just making comments about my weight. Again, I wouldn't consider myself as a fat kid at all, just a child who had a bit more weight than a "skinny" kid would. You wouldn't point me out in a school class pic and say oh that kid was fat, because it wasn't me. But I guess growing up with a really skinny older sister (who is 6' under in the ground because of committing suicide at the age of 19), it didn't help much. My grandmother mocked my weight so much, my parents did nothing to stop her from her poisonous words against me for no $*(#(#$ reason.

My mom and dad fought all my life, and the hosuehold never seemed to be in peace. I skipped Grade 1 and also consider myself to be very intelligent, used to win spelling bees in primary school, and also learned to read when I was 3 years old.

Like I mentioned, my older sister committed suicide at the age of 19 (bakc in 1990), just when I was finishing up my Grade 12 year. That just set the tone for what would happen to me and my younger sister for years after.

I somehow managed to pull myself through university and took me a long time to finish my Bachelor's degree, finally in 2000, after taking a year or so off here and there from having my older son and also for another reason, and do you think anyone celebrated with me, my graduation at university? NO!

Life has been a painful experience for me, and I can relate to you Dave. It is not too late for you to go to university and finish your Bachelors or even go beyond that.

If I can recall, Australia has some pretty good programs for students, I don't know all the "ins" and "outs" but I know my good friends in Adelaide have told me that the government is pretty helpful $$ wise. I'm not sure if that's why you have not gone to university, but definitely check into the government programs in OZ if that is the case.

Now, after all these years, after surviving an abusive 1st marriage, I have two children from the 1st marriage, I just met my current husband on the Internet, and decided to up and move me and my two children half way around the world to here.

I really didn't care anymore what anyone thought of me, no one was there for me, even when I was leaving my abusive 1st marriage. I decided that I was going to make a new start and was interested to move away anyways.

So here I am, stuck in the hot desert (UGH ), married 2nd time around to a wonderful man and my two boys are happy and healthy. It's helped me a lot by moving away from my parents and all the garbage back "home", and I've already achieved alot while being here. I just need to get this $*%& weight off once and for all!

I know while being married the 1st time around, I gained weight with my first son, and that sort of set the stage for all this excessive weight, and then it was an emotionally abusive one, so I guess i ate out of comfort.

So just have to conquer this weight issue once and for all!

You are a good guy Dave! You can do anything you put your mind to.

I'm also doing a job at the moment which is not really 'up my alley" so to speak, working as a Legal Secretary, but I have plans to complete my master's degree within a few years. Thinking of doing it in Human resources or even go to law school.

take care my friend.

[divaindubai]

Re: OUr Fat kids

Sorry!! have a few more things to say!


because of my low self esteem as a child, and young teen, what do you think I spent my hard earned part time job income on???

yes you guessed right


DIET CENTERS.

Just to lose 15 or 20 lbs.



My weight has just been yo-yo'ing most of my life, except now I have a more greater weight to lose.

Would have preferred to have spent my part time job money on perhaps saving up for a car, or other things, but no, i was so obsessed with thinking I was fat and not pretty or slim enough to even have a boyfriend.

I never had a boyfriend in highschool. Yet, I look at my high school pictures, and sorry to brag, but there was nothing wrong with the way I looked back then.....

Anyways, life is how you make it. I am trying as hard as I can to be the best parent that I can now. The past is the past, it's what happens int he present and future that counts.

Time heals wounds, but we must heal ourselves, and with our weight we must stop using food as a comfort tool, because it will only destroy us in the end.

That's it, I'm done!!

[wannabethintoo]

Re: OUr Fat kids

School has got to be the toughest experience to get through that's for sure. I was one of the bean pole kids when I was growing up. The teasing and name calling is not only reserved for the fat kids. I got teased so much that I become a shy, withdrawn child...I didn't start off that way. I really don't know what it takes to get through school unscathed. Children can be so cruel. I don't know where they learn how to be this way. I'm hoping things have changed and that my daughter will not have to go through her school experience and come out with the scars that I had.

But you know what they say... if you can survive the hardships in life, the experiences will make you a stronger person. I see it in a lot of us here at ADBB. We are strong people who can accomplish anything.

[Heidi3]

Re: OUr Fat kids

oh heck I was considered "chubby" at 5lbs overweight when I was a kid. My parents were on me constantly about it

TV in a cafeteria full of kids eating mindlessly while watching tv..that is a picture I would be horrified to see it is bad enough to see them doing that at hom

[dotsamantha]

Re: OUr Fat kids

I was called chubby by almost everyone, hey i can't change being 5'3". it took me years to look at childhood pics and realize I wasn't even kind of overweight at the time. it definitely has to do with tuning out, and home life (which was very dysfunctional), and relationships.Parents really need to stop using food as reward. of course your kid is going to want lollipops and gum if you make it a treat. The whole thought process needs to shift, but that requires work. No easy fixes here.

[staziaw]

Re: OUr Fat kids

Oh my dear compadres! I can completely relate to all of these posts! I was the skinny one all the way through school, but was an emotional, private eater. All the sports I did kept me thin, or I would have shown weight gain way earlier. My mom criticized me for weighing more than her, but never took into account that I passed her height-wise when I was in 6th grade! So, what was I supposed to do? Weigh 100 pounds when I was 5'6", 5'8", 5'10" and finally 5'11"? How ridiculous is that? All the emotional BS my parents threw at me affected my school career as well (Dave, I completely relate to your story!). I also did not finish my college degree - sometimes I care, sometimes I don't. But I am working towards getting out of a dead-end job and moving towards doing something that actually does fulfill me in a deeper way.

Regarding watching TV while eating, I wasn't allowed to do that as a kid and we certainly didn't have TV in any of the school cafeterias I went to! However, as an adult, I did develop that bad habit . . . and recently changed it when I ccame on board the Atkin's WOE. I've noticed that I now eat more slowly and eat less. Bonus!

My love and smoochies and hugs to all of us who have struggled with these issues.

Stacy

[Laurenfra]

Re: OUr Fat kids

((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))) to all. Its amazing what we all have been thru

[bjs1976]

Re: OUr Fat kids

wannabe -- I was skinny as well, 5'8" struggled to weigh 99 punds. I got made fun of all the time. I was called anorexic, while I ate liek a hog. And there was this one guy always making the comment I had the perfect 36 figure........12-12-12..I cried..High school is tough , kids are mean...


(who ever would of thunk I would be here. Guess I can blame IV solumedrol, and prednisone, amonst other meds..)

Oh well, fat or thin, I jst don't think some people ever have anything nice to say about others...

[changing]

Re: OUr Fat kids

Oh everyone, I can totally relate... I feel silly admitting it, but sometimes when I think about the obesity epidemic among kids these days, I can't help but cry.


I was a "normal" weight child but became quite curvy at age 11 (the first girl in my grade), and as a result, quite body-conscious. The ensuing 14 years was a constant struggle of binge/purge, diet pills, and veggie only (excluding potatoes) fasts. I totally relate with what you've said, LCDave, about it messing up my educational success... I am only just now re-enrolled in school, an Associate's program, but it's a good start, I say... especially as I have no degree whatsoever. I know it's directly related to my problems with body image... everything in my life used to revolve around my troubled body image and my feeling of unworthiness just because (up until the last 4 years) I had 10-40 pounds to lose.

In a way, I'm scared for when I lose the weight... every decision I made in my life was dictated by how much I weighed: who I dated, how many friends I had, what I did for a job, how much I believed in myself. I'm worried that when I get to the end of this rainbow, I'll still be me. I mean, yes, I know I"ll still be me -- but the question is: can I cope with that? Can I cope with not having one scapegoat excuse to hang all my insecurities on?

Anyway, thanks Laurenfra, for starting this thread. Some very intriguing discussion is taking place.

[LC_Dave]

Re: OUr Fat kids

Geese you guys are as messed up as me! LOL I think it is soo healthy to acknowledge all this crud that builds up inside us!

If it's any consolation to the ones that were skinny kids. The fat kids dreamed to be picked on for being too skinny! I wonder if that's why the skinny and overweight kids use dto hang out, because they can relate to being hassled ?