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**Atkid** · June 14, 2006, 12:06 PM

Re: Is it normal??

Hi! I feel for you. Although you say it is a platonic relationship (and assuming it always has been) you have said you have felt like you have been put aside for the last five days and that is not a feeling that I would like. I definitely don't blame you for feeling jealous. Sorry I can't help anymore than that but I feel like your jealousy is justifiable. It will be hard for you to object without looking like the big *****, but I think I would have to.

**ladyinred** · June 14, 2006, 12:07 PM

Re: Is it normal??

I'm not a jealous person usually, so I don't know if that's normal. My dh is involved in theatre and so meets lots of women and has a couple of women friends. I am always welcome to join them if they meet for coffee or whatever, but I'm not that interested so I don't bother. They are his friends so I don't need to be there. I don't feel threatened though or sexually jealous, if you know what I mean. I trust him and I know how he feels about me so I don't think there's anything going on between them.

On the other hand, I'm sure we've all been in situations where we feel excluded. I feel this more with some of my girlfriends. Another girl comes along, say an old friend, and the two of them have a bond that I'm not part of and they talk about things I don't know about and I feel like I've lost my friend a bit. Is that what you are feeling?

Either way you should talk to him about it. let him reassure you that they are just friends, or if you are feeling excluded because they talk about "the old days" all the time, let him know that you'd like to be included a bit more. Personally, I wouldn't want anyone living with me for a month. That's a long time to have your life a bit turned upside down, but that's just me, being selfish and wanting my space.

**Jerzaka** · June 14, 2006, 12:21 PM

Re: Is it normal??

First let me apologize for what I'm about to say. Because I'm sure it'll ruffle a few feathers. With that said, I'm a firm believer in gut instincts. If walks like a duck, quacks like duck etc, it's a duck! I would never allow a female friend of my husbands to stay overnight without her husband. Heck, even with her husband. Get a room!

I trust him, I just know me. I'm jealous. It would drive me insane. The what if's...the secret jokes, the history, the opportunity... Geez...I've already said to much.

**Desertthorn** · June 14, 2006, 12:26 PM

Re: Is it normal??

I think its perfectly normal, and vent all you like.

**not2late** · June 14, 2006, 12:37 PM

Re: Is it normal??

Normal, and normal to vent.

You might want to talk to hubby too about your feelings. Best to get it out in the open so it doesn't brew and boil inside you.

**staziaw** · June 14, 2006, 12:47 PM

Re: Is it normal??

I agree with Megs. Talk to your husband, let him know how you feel. If she is truly like a "sister" to him, he really should understand how you feel and work things out so that YOU are not inconvenienced! You should never feel "put aside" - let your husband know that too! YOU are his wife - you come first - always.

I would also let him know that a month's stay is just too long. Maybe one or two weeks with you and one or two weeks at a hotel? A month is just such an inconvenience. I would crap my pants if someone told me I was going to have a guest for a month!!!

I'm sending you my best thoughts and wishes!! Take care and let us know what happens.

Stacy

**ladyinred** · June 14, 2006, 12:48 PM

Re: Is it normal??

I would crap my pants if someone told me I was going to have a guest for a month!!!

Well, that's one way to get rid of them.

**Atkid** · June 14, 2006, 12:51 PM

Re: Is it normal??

Originally posted by ladyinred

Well, that's one way to get rid of them.

Too funny!

**aggie** · June 14, 2006, 12:53 PM

Re: Is it normal??

Heavens no Divain. Don't be jealous, be subtle. You need to start cooking atrocious meals like red pepper pancakes with soya maple syrup and scrambled egg frog legs and absolutely INSIST that you must do all the cooking. Then you find an ugly ugly bug and put it in her bed at night. Then you find some green dye and inadvertantly put it into her shampoo. Then you spend the entire time interrupting their discussions to talk about how much your husband snores. Then you ask if she normally likes to wear that colour whatever it is and then vaguely drift off without answering why you ask. Now you must do this with a very broad smile and such genuine concern that it ruins the whole bubble. Not to worry, given a few weeks, even your husband will be happy to be rid of her. That's just the way things go when people move in with other people... It'll wear thin soon enough so just bide your time. That's what I think anyway...

**boonie stomper** · June 14, 2006, 01:00 PM

Re: Is it normal??

For a couple to have such a trust and understanding about each others old friends of the opposite sex is the rare exception to the rule. Nothing to be ashamed about; in all my life almost everyone I knew stopped seeing any former friends of the opposite sex, once they married, no matter how innocent the friendship, for sake of their spouse's possessiveness.

It must be instict, as many relationships are destroyed due to lack of trust stemming from an association with a potential to lead to an affair. Then more are destroyed because of affairs.

If you really are not sure about the school-mate at your home, and get stuck with her there a month, get to know her as well as you can, be with your hubby at all times she's around (or if he wants to go out for anything other than work). You'll either end up all being good friends or you'll find out if your fear are justified.

Sorry if this is too blunt.

**Jerzaka** · June 14, 2006, 01:03 PM

Re: Is it normal??

You need to start cooking atrocious meals like red pepper pancakes with soya maple syrup and scrambled egg frog legs and absolutely INSIST that you must do all the cooking. Then you find an ugly ugly bug and put it in her bed at night. Then you find some green dye and inadvertantly put it into her shampoo. Then you spend the entire time interrupting their discussions to talk about how much your husband snores. Then you ask if she normally likes to wear that colour whatever it is and then vaguely drift off without answering why you ask

Now THAT'S funny! roflmao

**staziaw** · June 14, 2006, 01:08 PM

Re: Is it normal??

Yes, LadyInRed, walking around with crap-laden pants would do the trick!!!

I like Aggie's ideas!

Jerzaka - tell this chick that you have LOTS of friends who will come over there and beat her hiney if she steps out of line!!

Stacy

**not2late** · June 14, 2006, 01:09 PM

Re: Is it normal??

"Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days."

**boonie stomper** · June 14, 2006, 01:14 PM

Re: Is it normal??

Originally posted by aggie

Heavens no Divain. Don't be jealous, be subtle. You need to start cooking atrocious meals like red pepper pancakes with soya maple syrup and scrambled egg frog legs and absolutely INSIST that you must do all the cooking. Then you find an ugly ugly bug and put it in her bed at night. Then you find some green dye and inadvertantly put it into her shampoo. Then you spend the entire time interrupting their discussions to talk about how much your husband snores. Then you ask if she normally likes to wear that colour whatever it is and then vaguely drift off without answering why you ask. Now you must do this with a very broad smile and such genuine concern that it ruins the whole bubble. Not to worry, given a few weeks, even your husband will be happy to be rid of her. That's just the way things go when people move in with other people... It'll wear thin soon enough so just bide your time. That's what I think anyway...

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