Is it normal??

[presidentholmes]

Re: Is it normal??

You're absolutely normal and right to be jealous.

[divaindubai]

Re: Is it normal??

Hi all

thanks for your responses.

I'm overtired, having my "time of the month", stressed out, etc (not trying to get pity)

I trust my hubby but I've just spent the last 4 - 5 days feeling put aside because his "old friend" is here and they are feeling nostalgia ( they are both from Iraq (she's half iraqi half german) -- and they tell me that they miss the good old days of baghdad, when members of the opposite sex could mix freely as friends, and at least the days were peaceful back then, etc) -- which I can understand how they feel as look at the situation there now....

thanks again for lettting me vent.

I hate having my time of th emonth

turn into an irrational, emotional, B****

[aggie]

Re: Is it normal??

Okay... but I still think you could serve pickled frog legs...

And you are DIVAINDUBAI... you don't play second fiddle to anyone! Hear me girl?!

Glad to hear you're feeling better.

[BellaCarol]

Re: Is it normal??

Well you are very patient, I am jealous and I would not allow a female friend of my husband in my house. I would not. But I am a jealous person and so is my DH. And ask yourself would he allow a male friend of you in HIS house for 1 month?

[Kisseslikepearls]

Re: Is it normal??

Not that this will clear anything up, but maybe a POV from the other side is in order....

I had several of male friends in high school and college. Wasn't my fault I'd rather play a couple hands of texas hold'em than listen to what a nice rear end so and so had...not to mention my taste for whiskey. The number doubled when I started dating a Marine. I had my own apartment so whenever he had leave, he'd bring one or two buddies home and viola--I had new friends (must have been my cooking!). I've long since broken contact with him, but I still randomly talk to those guys--even got invitations to their weddings and a couple bridesmaid offers.

I can't tell you how upset it makes me when thier fiancee or wife thinks that they're the best thing since sliced pickles, so must every other female on the face of the earth and therefore, must be out to steal them. It just makes me see red. I cooked for these men, occasionally did thier laundry, listened to some female predicament they had gotten themselves into and just BS'ed about life. I usually get double the coldness because until recently, I typically showed up single....which, of course, can't be because I liked it. It had to be that I was just biding my time until I could steal thier husband, my friend, away from them. And that was sarcasim--just to make it clear.

Personally, after seeing thier husband puke up his guts for 3 hours after he 'just had to have' those last three yagerbombs or shots of chartruese, doing domestics after that car accident he had, patching him up after the bright idea of lighting themselves on fire using brandy, seeing him covered in tears and snot because some now-distant ex cheated on him and listening to an awful drunken rendition of "freebird" at his bachelor party....I can't imagine what THEY see in him.


That said, I recently spent a month in the San Diego/Lancaster areas visiting a friend I met and college and two, now married, friends I met through my ex. It never ONCE crossed my mind (other than the night I drank--the whole drunk driving thing) to spend the night, let alone a week or a month. It was offered, grudingly I admit, but I can't think of a single reason why I would want to impose on someone like that. Its pure madness to have a guest, especially one who's not family, that long.

[cypressgirl]

Re: Is it normal??

Well said Kisses! I too was the highschool friend of several guys with whom I am still close enough to keep ties and never once did I entertain any romantic thoughts! However, I don't care who it is - Dh better never, and I mean EVER, think he is inviting anyone to my house at all without talking to me about it until we agree on whatever needs agreeing upon. That being said, I am never agreeing to a month. I might think about a night...once!

Poor you! Keeping you in my thoughts and hoping your dh smells the coffee before you have to dump it over his head

[MotherOfGizmo]

Re: Is it normal??

I have a question. Do you have guy friends that come to stay with you too? How about asking hubby if its ok if next month one of your old guy friends comes to stay, for about a month! I'll betcha its not.

[GiGi Lafoo]

Re: Is it normal??

I am not jealous at all and that would still make me put my foot down. DH can flirt with the cute little waitresses, my friends or whoever else and I usually just laugh.

It's great that the friendship has lasted so long and he wants to help her and the husband relocate but I think that's asking too much of you. I agree with Kisses, having had many dear male friends. Having had no sisters and two brothers I tend to be able to have closer friendships with males sometimes than females. My "best" friend before DH and I were married was a guy. We could talk for hours on end and never get bored, we laughed more than two 7th graders sent out to the hall, he helped me select my kids Christmas presents, we'd vent about our evil exes, I was his go-to person on issues with his adolescent daughter, etc. I still can't listen to James Taylor's "You've Got a Friend" without getting a lump in my throat and thinking about my friend. He's moved away and we stay in touch via email now but when DH and I got engaged it was my friend who indicated he felt it would be disrespectful to my DH if we continued to go to movies, out to eat, etc together.

Bottom line is I don't even think you are being jealous. I think it's more a case of respecting you, your marriage and home. I'm sure your DH does respect you but sometimes guys don't understand how women feel about things. To him he's prolly just giving an ole buddy a hand. You said they were missing the way things used to be in their homeland so maybe it's totally a cultural difference and they don't even realize how it makes you feel. You're not being an irriational ****!!! Tell him how uncomfortable you are with it and let us know.