Those with "grown up children coming home to visit"

[Barbde]

Is it JUST me? Or do they all tend to "gang up" on MOM when they get together? OMG. I so look forward to the visits and sometimes they end up being sooooooo stressful! WTH?
It amazes me how their memories of events are soo distorted! And somehow I am always ending up being the bad guy! And the funny thing is that..........
I remember these events and DAD usually has NO clue what we are talking about! (Mostly because they happened in the middle of the night and lucky HE was sleeping!)
I mean, we have humor in our family. And a lot of stuff is laughed about. But boy, sometimes things turn really intense.
And then there is the "Mom is expected to feed everybody at any moment" Hello? I am way OVER THAT!!! I got home 15 minutes before you got here and if you are hungry....... THERE is the kitchen!
Arrrggg. OK, sorry, I am just having a melt down here...........

[Terry]

Re: Those with "grown up children coming home to visit"

{{{{Barb}}}}

Vent all ya want!

I find that hubby (and the kids) and I disagree on how things really went down at certain times around here. It's easy to be oblivious when you aren't the one that every one else is looking to for being taken care of.

Sometimes I wish I could have my own wife! lol

In my house no one can ever find the following items (Even though they have been in the same place for nearly a quarter century!:

1. Duct Tape/Scotch Tape
2. Vacume cleaner
3. Dish detergent
4. Washing machine

[Barbde]

Re: Those with "grown up children coming home to visit"

Yeah, right?
Catsup, mustard, ANYTHING in the refrigerator, usually on the FRONT of the shelf right in front of their FACE?? OMG! Refrigerator blindness is what I call it! They ALL have it!
I am sitting here thinking, you know? I got you to all your sports practices and games! I sat through ALL those horrible chorus concerts and smiled and said how wonderful it was! Yeah, I was the disciplinarian. I was the one who was always THERE! Not that DH was MIA, but he was working and I was the one HOME when the drama went on usually. Or in the later teenage years, we were both sleeping and I happened to be the one woke up!
I am STILL the one who gets the SOS phone calls for whatever reason.........."Moooom! Help!" whatever. I have asked. "How come you never call DAD?" No answer.
HOW am I the BAD guy?
I need to call my Mom tomorrow and tell her I am sorry for anything I ever did to give her grief, that is for sure!

[Barbde]

Re: Those with "grown up children coming home to visit"

Oh, and I have been informed that I MUST be going through a "middle age crisis" to be having these feelings! LOLOL. My response........... just wait......... your turn will come.

[Terry]

Re: Those with "grown up children coming home to visit"

uhn uhn uhn

"middle age crisis" are fighting words.

I have threatened with in inches of someones life if they throw that in my face. lol

It is tough sometimes. I played the very same role in our house. DH has some warped sense of how (not so) equal our time was in our roles of car pooling, game watching, teacher conferences, etc. I had to remind him many times that I had 4 schedules to keep track of. I dont think he ever really "got it". He only had to get up and go to work in the morning and keep track of his own schedule. I had to keep track of all appts for the entire family, school functions, sports, chorus concerts, karate practice, and all social lives. In his defense, he gets up at 1AM to go to work so I was the only parent who could do alot in the evenings but I bristle each and every time he mentions how many hours "we" spent teaching the kids how to drive.

As for my children, as much as I taught them to be self sufficient... dd actually is pretty much and has left home but ds is still a work in progress. He still asks me to make him a sandwich or make a phone call for him. Lately I have taken to just giving him "the look". And if that doesn't work I ask him if he thinks maid service is included with the rent.

I have many times wanted to change my name to something ...... anything other than Mom.

But on the good days. I loved being Mom.

[msnicksmom]

Re: Those with "grown up children coming home to visit"

Y'know, I think my mom has the same original complaint Barbde. Thanks for the point of view. Hope I can keep that in mind when I see her next.

[Barbde]

Re: Those with "grown up children coming home to visit"

uhn uhn uhn

"middle age crisis" are fighting words.

I have threatened with in inches of someones life if they throw that in my face. lol

It is tough sometimes. I played the very same role in our house. DH has some warped sense of how (not so) equal our time was in our roles of car pooling, game watching, teacher conferences, etc. I had to remind him many times that I had 4 schedules to keep track of. I dont think he ever really "got it". He only had to get up and go to work in the morning and keep track of his own schedule. I had to keep track of all appts for the entire family, school functions, sports, chorus concerts, karate practice, and all social lives. In his defense, he gets up at 1AM to go to work so I was the only parent who could do alot in the evenings but I bristle each and every time he mentions how many hours "we" spent teaching the kids how to drive.

As for my children, as much as I taught them to be self sufficient... dd actually is pretty much and has left home but ds is still a work in progress. He still asks me to make him a sandwich or make a phone call for him. Lately I have taken to just giving him "the look". And if that doesn't work I ask him if he thinks maid service is included with the rent.

I have many times wanted to change my name to something ...... anything other than Mom.

But on the good days. I loved being Mom.

OMG!! Changing the name! LOL.
Do you know how many times I heard "Moooooooooooooom" and said "I changed my name" Huh? well "what did you change it to?" My response "I'M NOT TELLING YOU!" LOL.
Yeah, I forgot about the teacher conferences and the doctor appointments. Arrgg. I LOVED my babies. I seriously am NOT ******** about being a MOM. I actually MISS them being little, it was easier!
And it is all good now, actually. However, it's weird adjusting to this Mom/Adult child relationship. They want to confide things to me, but I guess I am still supposed to play the same ole role for them.
My DD has said how I have "changed". Well......... I really haven't "changed" from when I MET DH. I was working out then, went to a gym and had a "life". But boy that changed with 3 kids and life over 20 years huh? It makes me laugh.

[Barbde]

Re: Those with "grown up children coming home to visit"

Y'know, I think my mom has the same original complaint Barbde. Thanks for the point of view. Hope I can keep that in mind when I see her next.

Weird thing msnicksmom. My issues in life seem to revolve around my MOM as well. Now that I think about it. And my DAD was never there! WHY do we blame the MOMS for everything??? It's coming back to bite me in the butt, everything I had a problem with my MOM about! And when I think about it, she didn't do anything wrong!
OMG, I MUST be getting OLD!

[Barbde]

Re: Those with "grown up children coming home to visit"

Whew. OK. I think my rant is over.
Thanks you guys for being there!!

[Terry]

Re: Those with "grown up children coming home to visit"

OMG!! Changing the name! LOL.
Do you know how many times I heard "Moooooooooooooom" and said "I changed my name" Huh? well "what did you change it to?" My response "I'M NOT TELLING YOU!" LOL.
Yeah, I forgot about the teacher conferences and the doctor appointments. Arrgg. I LOVED my babies. I seriously am NOT ******** about being a MOM. I actually MISS them being little, it was easier!
And it is all good now, actually. However, it's weird adjusting to this Mom/Adult child relationship. They want to confide things to me, but I guess I am still supposed to play the same ole role for them.
My DD has said how I have "changed". Well......... I really haven't "changed" from when I MET DH. I was working out then, went to a gym and had a "life". But boy that changed with 3 kids and life over 20 years huh? It makes me laugh.

I got ya perfectly. Its not ********, its blowing out steam and we all need to do that once in awhile. There are some definate changes going on when your children are suddenly adults. They think you change but they didn't see the transformation you had to make as you had each of them and now that you have your life back, so to speak they just see a different side of you.

As grown up as they think they are... they still just want Mom all to themselves.

Glad you feel better....... As we are in the same boat shout out any time you need!

[ValidRouge]

Re: Those with "grown up children coming home to visit"

Heh.

When we were younger my mom used to say "I'm going to change my name to SH!T and you can't say that word"

[Barbde]

Re: Those with "grown up children coming home to visit"

Heh.

When we were younger my mom used to say "I'm going to change my name to SH!T and you can't say that word"

LOLOL. I LOVE your Mom Joy!! A Woman after my own heart!

[Terry]

Re: Those with "grown up children coming home to visit"

Heh.

When we were younger my mom used to say "I'm going to change my name to SH!T and you can't say that word"

Too funny!

Good idea! HaHa