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Bran Muffins
Bran Muffins
They were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years.
Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they
watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very
good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods
and exercise for the last 2 decades.
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare
vacation and their plane unfortunately crashed, sending them off to
Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them
inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and
fine silks, With a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the
master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes
in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome
to Heaven. This will be your home now."
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"Why, nothing," Peter replied; "remember, this is your reward in
Heaven."
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a
championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any
ever-built on Earth.
"What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man.
"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free,
every day, any time of day that you want."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch,
with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to
steaks to exotic desserts, free flowing beverages. "Don't even
ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven, it is all free
for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the
decaf tea?" he asked.
"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and
drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never
get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"
The old man inquired, "No gym to work out at?"
"Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."
"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."
The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. We could have been here twenty years ago.
They were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years.
Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they
watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very
good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods
and exercise for the last 2 decades.
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare
vacation and their plane unfortunately crashed, sending them off to
Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them
inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and
fine silks, With a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the
master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes
in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome
to Heaven. This will be your home now."
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"Why, nothing," Peter replied; "remember, this is your reward in
Heaven."
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a
championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any
ever-built on Earth.
"What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man.
"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free,
every day, any time of day that you want."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch,
with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to
steaks to exotic desserts, free flowing beverages. "Don't even
ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven, it is all free
for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the
decaf tea?" he asked.
"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and
drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never
get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"
The old man inquired, "No gym to work out at?"
"Not unless you want to," was the answer.
"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."
"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."
The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. We could have been here twenty years ago.
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