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I'm not sure if i'm asking a question or if i'm just venting but I have to talk to someone.
My brother USED to be a troublemaker. He was into drugs and always in trouble with the law and basically just floated through life without a care in the world - had a real attitude and cared about nothing. (A real @$$, some would say) Well he ended up marrying the girl next door who was also the same kind of person as he. When they got married, they started going to counseling (individually) and really liked that and really, REALLY turned there lives around. They became hard workers and very focused. Then she got pregnant and of course they both felt like the world was coming down on them. Well it turned out to be the best thing - they were headed in the right direction with things before but the baby just made it perfect. My brother loves his "little man" many than life itself. Now I know that couples have issues that they never talk about to anyone but between themselves but I never thought this would happen.
Tuesday of last week I was at my parents house helping them with some stuff and my brother called over there and asked if I was going to stop over at his house (they are almost neighbors) and I told him I would be there in 15 minutes. I went to his house and as I was walking to the door my brother walked out on the porch and was bawling his eyes out and said "shes leaving" I was blown away and said let me talk to her - I went inside and asked her to come out and talk to me so little man wouldnt be hearing everything. I must have been outside with her for an hour and she was telling me that shes "not sure" how she feels about him anymore, she doesnt feel like shes herself anymore. I asked her if she was leaving and she opened the car and had all her clothes in there. She said she wanted billy (my brother) to get some help because he makes her feel like crap all the time. She said she would move out while he got help and then if he changed she would come back. I went inside and talked to my brother and told him everything she had said and he said he would go, he said he would do anything to make things OK even though he didnt think there was anything wrong with him. He went outside and talked to her and they came inside and asked me to talk to both of them together, so we all sat down. Billy promised Samantha he would call in the morning (it was 1am at this time) and make an appointment and if she wanted to leave while he did this then so be it, anything to make it work. She said no I will stay, they hugeed and I left...as I was leaving she came outside and hugged me and said thank you for talking to me. Well I thought everything was good now, wednesday went by and thursday came. While at work I got a call from Billy around 9am saying Samantha took the baby and shes gone. He was losing his mind! "what am I going to do without little man?" I tried to calm him down the best I could and told him I would call him later to check on him.
No one heard anything throughout the day from her or knew where she was. Then she called my brother and said she was going to talk to someone at 5 and would be home after that to get all of her stuff, she was done. So my brother calls me and lets me know and doesnt know what to do with himself. I got off work and went to where she was going to see if I could talk to her before she went home and got her things. When she was finished she came out and got in my car and we talked for a while - she said she just told him everything was ok on tuesday so she could stop talking about it. But she was done, she said she didnt love him anymore and was leaving no matter what. I said thats obviously her choice but to tell him the truth, DONT string him along thinking that there is hope, he had counseling all set up but she already had her mind made. So that was thursday night - she went home got all of her stuff and told him she was leaving. My brother called my dad and then he called me and asked me to go to Billys house with him. I met him there and my dad talked to her to make sure this is what she really wanted because Billy cannot afford to keep the house and all the vehicles by himself. She said yes she was sure - my dad said 'you can look him in the eyes and say you dont want to spend another day with him' and she GIGGLED and said yes. My dad said ok just wanted to make sure. She got all her things and the baby and left. My brother stayed at his house that night.
Friday came around and that morning he went to the bank and found that all of there money was gone. Checking, savings - all of it. He called my sister who works for a lawyer and wanted to see if he could come in just to talk about what his rights are. He went in found out everything he needed to know and that was that.
I called off work friday so I could spend it with him because my parents were working and I didnt want him to be alone. He was drinking a little bit but I didnt think anything of it, he's not a drinker and never really has been - So I figured just let him if it will help him at that moment. Well he said he was going to take a nap and went into the room (he was in my parents house by this time) I watched TV and did some things around the house and it had been like 5 hours so I went in there to check on him and his lips here purple almost. I tried to wake him and he wouldnt. I got EXTREMELY upset and called 911 - they took him to the hospital. After everything they did for him and he was up I found out that he had taken some pills (alot) before drinking and he over dosed.
He just kept repeating in the hospital "what am I going to do without little man?" and bawling his eyes out....
I've been there and tried to do everything that I know of, and of course he's going to be upset about the situation but I just feel helpless. This situation has affected me severly (cannot stop crying, almost depressed-like, confused). And I know I should be upset for him, but I dont know what its hitting me this hard. I cant really describe how sad I feel. Im sad that she left him, Im sad that hes not going to be able to see little man whenever he wants, but I think im mostly sad because Im afraid he will go back to what he used to be. Im afraid this time he will take his life. His world is gone, no wife no son and everything he has worked for - his home, everything. I know things will get situated once a divorce is in process but until that time - I just dont know. He doesnt stop crying, he says his heart actually aches. He misses them so much and she couldnt care less. She knows what he did and that hes in the hospital and her response was "oh well, im done".
She told me shes been unhappy for a while - I asked her if she ever told Billy and her response was "if your meant to be together, then he should be able to tell when there is something wrong". which could be true but you should be willing to work. How can you be with someone for over 5 years and just leave at the drop of a hat? without trying and without a care in the world?
Like I said, Im not sure if i'm asking a question--or what! Any comments? Anything to help? I feel lost and not sure what to say or do. I dont want to give up on him (my parents are saying maybe he should be admitted into..ya know) and I dont think thats what he needs. I know thats not what he needs. But what can i DO? what should happen from here?
I dont want anything to happen to him. And I know he cant be put away for a broken heart. I just dont know...
Thanks.
My brother USED to be a troublemaker. He was into drugs and always in trouble with the law and basically just floated through life without a care in the world - had a real attitude and cared about nothing. (A real @$$, some would say) Well he ended up marrying the girl next door who was also the same kind of person as he. When they got married, they started going to counseling (individually) and really liked that and really, REALLY turned there lives around. They became hard workers and very focused. Then she got pregnant and of course they both felt like the world was coming down on them. Well it turned out to be the best thing - they were headed in the right direction with things before but the baby just made it perfect. My brother loves his "little man" many than life itself. Now I know that couples have issues that they never talk about to anyone but between themselves but I never thought this would happen.
Tuesday of last week I was at my parents house helping them with some stuff and my brother called over there and asked if I was going to stop over at his house (they are almost neighbors) and I told him I would be there in 15 minutes. I went to his house and as I was walking to the door my brother walked out on the porch and was bawling his eyes out and said "shes leaving" I was blown away and said let me talk to her - I went inside and asked her to come out and talk to me so little man wouldnt be hearing everything. I must have been outside with her for an hour and she was telling me that shes "not sure" how she feels about him anymore, she doesnt feel like shes herself anymore. I asked her if she was leaving and she opened the car and had all her clothes in there. She said she wanted billy (my brother) to get some help because he makes her feel like crap all the time. She said she would move out while he got help and then if he changed she would come back. I went inside and talked to my brother and told him everything she had said and he said he would go, he said he would do anything to make things OK even though he didnt think there was anything wrong with him. He went outside and talked to her and they came inside and asked me to talk to both of them together, so we all sat down. Billy promised Samantha he would call in the morning (it was 1am at this time) and make an appointment and if she wanted to leave while he did this then so be it, anything to make it work. She said no I will stay, they hugeed and I left...as I was leaving she came outside and hugged me and said thank you for talking to me. Well I thought everything was good now, wednesday went by and thursday came. While at work I got a call from Billy around 9am saying Samantha took the baby and shes gone. He was losing his mind! "what am I going to do without little man?" I tried to calm him down the best I could and told him I would call him later to check on him.
No one heard anything throughout the day from her or knew where she was. Then she called my brother and said she was going to talk to someone at 5 and would be home after that to get all of her stuff, she was done. So my brother calls me and lets me know and doesnt know what to do with himself. I got off work and went to where she was going to see if I could talk to her before she went home and got her things. When she was finished she came out and got in my car and we talked for a while - she said she just told him everything was ok on tuesday so she could stop talking about it. But she was done, she said she didnt love him anymore and was leaving no matter what. I said thats obviously her choice but to tell him the truth, DONT string him along thinking that there is hope, he had counseling all set up but she already had her mind made. So that was thursday night - she went home got all of her stuff and told him she was leaving. My brother called my dad and then he called me and asked me to go to Billys house with him. I met him there and my dad talked to her to make sure this is what she really wanted because Billy cannot afford to keep the house and all the vehicles by himself. She said yes she was sure - my dad said 'you can look him in the eyes and say you dont want to spend another day with him' and she GIGGLED and said yes. My dad said ok just wanted to make sure. She got all her things and the baby and left. My brother stayed at his house that night.
Friday came around and that morning he went to the bank and found that all of there money was gone. Checking, savings - all of it. He called my sister who works for a lawyer and wanted to see if he could come in just to talk about what his rights are. He went in found out everything he needed to know and that was that.
I called off work friday so I could spend it with him because my parents were working and I didnt want him to be alone. He was drinking a little bit but I didnt think anything of it, he's not a drinker and never really has been - So I figured just let him if it will help him at that moment. Well he said he was going to take a nap and went into the room (he was in my parents house by this time) I watched TV and did some things around the house and it had been like 5 hours so I went in there to check on him and his lips here purple almost. I tried to wake him and he wouldnt. I got EXTREMELY upset and called 911 - they took him to the hospital. After everything they did for him and he was up I found out that he had taken some pills (alot) before drinking and he over dosed.
He just kept repeating in the hospital "what am I going to do without little man?" and bawling his eyes out....
I've been there and tried to do everything that I know of, and of course he's going to be upset about the situation but I just feel helpless. This situation has affected me severly (cannot stop crying, almost depressed-like, confused). And I know I should be upset for him, but I dont know what its hitting me this hard. I cant really describe how sad I feel. Im sad that she left him, Im sad that hes not going to be able to see little man whenever he wants, but I think im mostly sad because Im afraid he will go back to what he used to be. Im afraid this time he will take his life. His world is gone, no wife no son and everything he has worked for - his home, everything. I know things will get situated once a divorce is in process but until that time - I just dont know. He doesnt stop crying, he says his heart actually aches. He misses them so much and she couldnt care less. She knows what he did and that hes in the hospital and her response was "oh well, im done".
She told me shes been unhappy for a while - I asked her if she ever told Billy and her response was "if your meant to be together, then he should be able to tell when there is something wrong". which could be true but you should be willing to work. How can you be with someone for over 5 years and just leave at the drop of a hat? without trying and without a care in the world?
Like I said, Im not sure if i'm asking a question--or what! Any comments? Anything to help? I feel lost and not sure what to say or do. I dont want to give up on him (my parents are saying maybe he should be admitted into..ya know) and I dont think thats what he needs. I know thats not what he needs. But what can i DO? what should happen from here?
I dont want anything to happen to him. And I know he cant be put away for a broken heart. I just dont know...
Thanks.
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