Advice, please.

[Heather_RN]

Re: Advice, please.

I know that is a very very hard situation especailly being that far in a relationship! But you know... God has something else instore for your life! Don't waste time thinking about all the bad things in your life... This is very hard to do I know. Try very hard to focus on the great things about your life and who knows... things may end up EVEN BETTER than they were! There are always people out there for you! You probably have so many people that love you to death that you don't even know. Use them for support. . . and try very very hard... to SMILE!!!!

[not2late]

Re: Advice, please.

I remember reading once "you have to kiss alot of frogs to find a prince!"

Look to the future. I know it's hard to do at this point. But Steph...lemme tell ya, I cried over the "one who got away". 15 years later, I'm happy I got away based on what I've heard about his life post-me.

[Atkid]

Re: Advice, please.

Hugs to you Steph! To have that on top of your cousin dying I am sure you are heartbroken. Take it one day at a time!

[Profitweb]

Re: Advice, please.

It's heartbreaking to hear your story. I'm soooo sorry. Some people are just jerks and you don't even realise it until it's too late. I think he must be very immature, or a jerk, and you just need to move on. It will take time.

If you are stuck on this and can't concentrate on anything else, please, pick up some books to read. You'll need the support and you'll need to take care of yourself when no one else is around. "Women Who Love Too Much" would be a good book for you right now, or another book about moving on. Books are a real comfort at night, when you can't sleep, or in the day, when you can't stop crying.

One more thing, you HAVE TO make yourself eat a bit each day. So what! You couldn't eat cake the 1 time you tried (not exactly a good meal anyway). You need to try to eat several times a day, just a piece of meat, a few bites of fruit or veggies, just something. Why make yourself suffer more than you already have to? DON'T! Getting sick will only make things worse and that is what will happen. Don't be a victim. Take control of your life again. Are you going to let him ruin your life? The h#ll with him!!!

My thoughts are with you. Hang in there, the hurt will pass eventually. I promise!!! I'm sending love your way.

[stephbob]

Re: Advice, please.

I thought I was ok until tonight when my cousin (twin of the one in hospital) dropped her newborn baby off with me so she could go see her sister. As soon as she left, I just cried and cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. Then I started crying some more.

I know I need to get all the tears out first, before I can move on, but seriously, this guy is everything to me! He's not a jerk, he's been there for me through everything, he's been my support, my advice, my love, my hugs, my everything. I find it very admirable of him actually that he had the ability to tell me, because the only thing I didnt like about him throughout the whole of our relationship was that he waited too long to tell me things, thinking he was sparing my feelings when it actually made things worse.

The fact is, he wasn't happy in this relationship. I couldn't force him to be with me. And I too am a strong believer of fate. And I feel that if we are meant to be together, at some point in the future, he'll realize that he does want to be with me and we'll meet up again.

As for me moving on, I HATE social places (seriously, I would rather jump off a bridge than go to a bar or club) and I work at home, so I have next to no chance of meeting anyone soon lol.

But thanks again everyone for your kind words and support

[Atkid]

Re: Advice, please.

And I too am a strong believer of fate. And I feel that if we are meant to be together, at some point in the future, he'll realize that he does want to be with me and we'll meet up again.

I believe this also. Hang in there, he may just need some time to realize just what you do mean to him.

[stephbob]

Re: Advice, please.

Hah, so much for time. The girl he says he had met, but wasnt interested in, has already posted pictures on her myspace of the two of them together on Saturday. And he is hugging her. And commenting on her profile about kissing her, and how cute she is.

And this doesn't hurt me. *shakes head* I don't even care anymore.

[presidentholmes]

Re: Advice, please.

No, of course you don't have to give back the gifts and I can't think of anyone who waould ask or expect them back!!!

[presidentholmes]

Re: Advice, please.

Steph, my thoughts are with you.
Many of us have been through what you're going through and I know peeps have already told you, but time is a great healer. You have to go through the hurt, but you'll come out the other side and you'll be a stronger person.

[presidentholmes]

Re: Advice, please.

Steph,
I hope you don't mine me posting again.
When one partner says it's for no particulr reason, it almost always most definitely IS for a particular reason.
When I split from my ex of 11 yrs, I couldn't eat and I lost lots of weight. That's natural, don't force anything, you'll be ok in time.
Much, much later I found out that she was seeing someone while still with me and then lots of stuff made sense.
But, you're the better person and we can all see that you're a great person (not to mention a hot bombshell ) and you'll come through this and you're gonna meet a great guy that will fall in love with ya and treat you like a Princess.
You may not be able to see all this at the mo, but I/we can and know that everything is gonna be just great for you.
x

[Jacksuncle]

Re: Advice, please.

That makes me so mad. Its none of my business but that bugs the **** out of me. I want to fight him now.

Hah, so much for time. The girl he says he had met, but wasnt interested in, has already posted pictures on her myspace of the two of them together on Saturday. And he is hugging her. And commenting on her profile about kissing her, and how cute she is.

And this doesn't hurt me. *shakes head* I don't even care anymore.

[presidentholmes]

Re: Advice, please.

Tommy, you and me will go sort him out.

[Jacksuncle]

Re: Advice, please.

Yes lets. Then we can hang out with Steph!

[presidentholmes]

Re: Advice, please.

LOL
Ah Princess Steph.
Um, Tommy, do you know you can click on your pics and see your nudey bits in detail!!!

[stephbob]

Re: Advice, please.

I know it sounds cruel, but in a way, I hope that things don't work out for him. One of the last things he told me was that he has never cheated on me, and I believe him. I believe that since things were already at the end when he met her on Saturday, he just took the chance to see if he thought things would work out with him. As I said, we talked about finished things last Wednesday, so I don't consider him cheating on me.

It's just like a punch in the gut to see him with someone else. But maybe she'll suit him more. She seems nice enough, she's not 5000 miles away from him like I am, she's younger than him (by 3 years, and him being less mature than me was the topic of a lot of our arguments) But I just wish more than anything that she won't have the life that I was supposed to have with him.

Everyone keeps telling me that I'll meet someone else, someone better, but I really can't imagine anyone better for me than him. It breaks my heart to think back to the last time I saw him, leaving him at the airport, and I literally had to tear myself away to get on the plane. I just can't believe that's the last time I'll ever hug him, kiss him, have him as mine.

Oh, I feel so stupid. I'm not the only person to go through this.