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Why i fired my secretary..

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  • Why i fired my secretary..

    Last week was my birthday

    and I didn't feel very well

    waking up on that morning.

    I went downstairs for breakfast

    hoping my wife would be pleasant

    and say, "Happy Birthday!",

    and possibly have a small present for me.

    As it turned out, she barely said good morning,

    let alone "Happy Birthday."

    I thought...

    Well, that's marriage for you,

    but the kids....

    They will remember.

    My kids came bounding down stairs

    to breakfast and didn't say a word.

    So when I left for the office,

    I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

    As I walked into my office,

    my secretary Jane said,

    "Good Morning Boss,

    and by the way Happy Birthday! "

    It felt a little better that at least someone had

    remembered.

    I worked until one o'clock,

    when Jane knocked on my door

    and said, "You know,

    It's such a beautiful day outside,

    and it is your Birthday,

    what do you say we go out to lunch,

    just you and me."

    I said, "Thanks, Jane,

    that's the greatest thing

    I've heard all day.

    Let's go!"

    We went to lunch.

    But we didn't go where we normally would go.

    She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.

    We had two martinis each and I enjoyed

    the meal tremendously.

    On the way back to the office, Jane said,

    "You know, it's such a beautiful day...

    We don't need to go straight back to the office,

    Do We?"

    I responded,

    "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"

    She said, "Let's drop by my apartment,

    it's just around the corner."

    After arriving at her apartment,

    Jane turned to me and said,

    "Boss, if you don't mind,

    I'm going to step into the bedroom

    for just a moment.

    I'll be right back."

    "Ok," I nervously replied.

    She went into the bedroom and,

    after a couple of minutes,

    he came out carrying a huge birthday cake.

    Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens

    of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".

    And I just sat there...

    On the couch...


    Naked.
    HW 303
    Aug '04 SW-287 LW-232
    Restart - Apr 07 - SW 266 CW 225




    "Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you become."

  • #2
    Re: Why i fired my secretary..

    Lol,

    I like that one

    My Journal :rollerska :bouncy: 27 Female 5'7 :redsnoopy

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    • #3
      Re: Why i fired my secretary..

      Me too, I like that one too.
      sigpic260/215/180 Male - 36 y/o

      It never ceases to amaze me of how easy and how effective this ***diet*** is!!




      I have since re-gained a bit of weight, but that is soon to be coming off again!

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      • #4
        Re: Why i fired my secretary..

        That was a great one for sure.
        Male
        Height: 6 ft

        SW 418
        CW 283
        GW 218
        Started on May 1, 2006

        Proud member of the Century Club






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        • #5
          Re: Why i fired my secretary..

          That is so so funny!!!
          Before and after:






          PLEDGING FLIGHTS
          Completed: 1st set of buildings and mountains (Everest,M.Blanc & Kilimanjaro, twice); Tower Masts & Chimneys; More virtual buildings; Challenger's Choice x 2 (volcanos and mountains on Mars). Currently climbing: Mount Snowdon again: 416/475

          Start 10 Jan 2005. Maintenance since Aug. 2005.
          F/56yrs/5'.4"
          SW:77.7 LW:56.5 CW:60.1 (kilos)

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          • #6
            Re: Why i fired my secretary..

            LMAO!!!! That was good!!!

            Lady Hawke

            Attitude Changes Everything.
            Just like the butterfly, I too will awaken in my own time.
            ---><---



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            • #7
              Re: Why i fired my secretary..

              Emma, that's a great joke!
              START 8/16/06 @ 270+~MG1: 220-12/2/06~MG2: 210-1/07~MG3: 199-3/2/07~MG4: 190-4/27/07~MG5: 180-7/04/07~GOAL: 170
              RESTART 11/2/09 @ 224.6~MG1: 215~MG2: 210~MG3: 205~MG4: 199~MG5: 195~MG6: 190~MG7: 185~GOAL: 180

              F / 28 / 5'8" FITDAY

              Missoula Marathon 7/13/08 5:41


              Non-Celiac Gluten Intolerance
              GLUTEN-FREE since 10/08

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              • #8
                Re: Why i fired my secretary..

                Made me laugh too!
                Carmel, F36, 5'10

                SD - 11Apr07, 239/224/185
                Inch loss to date - 47.8"

                MG - Trip to Barcelona 9/5, 215.
                MG - Trip to Berlin 11/5, 205
                GOAL – Christimas 07, 185!

                Visit my journal ajourneyofathousandmilesstartswithonesmallstep
                Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world in the eye.


                -Helen Keller


                Challenges – Loose 15lbs by 4th July, Labour Day Challenge, Pedometer Challenge

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                • #9
                  Re: Why i fired my secretary..

                  Oh, my....ROFL...that's a good one

                  <copies. paste. send to family/friends/enemies>

                  April 2007: 212
                  Today: 190:D :walking
                  1st Goal 189
                  Goal: 165




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                  • #10
                    Re: Why i fired my secretary..

                    omg---that's awesome!
                    So....I fell off the band wagon...BUT I'M BACK!!! More Ready than ever!


                    SW 212 2/28/07
                    CW 178.0 11-23-08 [175 6-24-07] {190 4/24/07} [194 4/9/07]
                    GW 150 sooner than later!
                    GOAL 1---200 DONE!
                    GOAL 2---190 DONE! 4/24/07
                    GOAL 3---175 DONE!!!! 6/24/07 OH YEAH BABY!
                    GOAL 4---160
                    GOAL!! 150

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                    • #11
                      Re: Why i fired my secretary..

                      nice one emma
                      Scooter







                      Remember this everyday - Something Wonderful Is Going To Happen Today. If you live by that decree you will live life to the fullist.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Why i fired my secretary..

                        Much better than Rich's jokes

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                        • #13
                          Re: Why i fired my secretary..

                          Originally posted by Miss Phode
                          Much better than Rich's jokes
                          Everything any one ever does is better than Rich ever does. Its official......
                          sigpic260/215/180 Male - 36 y/o

                          It never ceases to amaze me of how easy and how effective this ***diet*** is!!




                          I have since re-gained a bit of weight, but that is soon to be coming off again!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Why i fired my secretary..

                            especially me
                            HW 303
                            Aug '04 SW-287 LW-232
                            Restart - Apr 07 - SW 266 CW 225




                            "Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you become."

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Why i fired my secretary..

                              I have heard that one before but it never gets old! LOL



                              BEFORE





                              NOW

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