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WORDS WOMEN USE
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FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
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WORDS MEN USE
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IT'S A GUY THING
There is no rational pattern connected with it and you [woman] will have no chance at all of making sense of it.
CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?
This usually means what is taking you so long to make dinner…no I really do not want to help.
"UH HUH", OR "SURE HONEY", OR "YES DEAR"
This is a conditional response and means nothing. They are probably blanking out what you are saying – happens during sports on T.V.
IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN
This actually means they [men] have no idea how it works or how to fix something.
TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD
This means that whatever she is doing he can not hear the game on T.V. [ie. Vacuuming]
THAT'S INTERESTING DEAR
This means are you still talking about that same thing. I’m really not interested.
YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS
Means – I remember everything that interests me but I forgot your birthday or our anniversary.
OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL
Really means – I have severed a limb and may bleed to death, but I am not hurt. I need to go to the hospital for stitches, but I am a man. -OR- I need you to help me now before I bleed to death before your eyes.
HEY, I HAVE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I AM DOING
Really means – I will think of a reason really soon and then I will tell you.
I CAN'T FIND IT
I am clueless – nothing just fell into my open arms when I was standing there.
WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?
Really means – what did you catch me doing now that I should not be doing?
I HEARD YOU
Means, I have not the foggiest idea what you are talking about or what you just said and I am having trouble faking it.
YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE
Translated means - I am used to how you yell at me and I know it could be worse with someone else.
YOU LOOK TERRIFIC
Means – please do not try on another outfit, we have to go.
I AM NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE
Translated means – No one will ever see us again and I am too proud to ask for directions.
[Edited for equal opportunity]
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FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
-----------------------------
WORDS MEN USE
**************
IT'S A GUY THING
There is no rational pattern connected with it and you [woman] will have no chance at all of making sense of it.
CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?
This usually means what is taking you so long to make dinner…no I really do not want to help.
"UH HUH", OR "SURE HONEY", OR "YES DEAR"
This is a conditional response and means nothing. They are probably blanking out what you are saying – happens during sports on T.V.
IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN
This actually means they [men] have no idea how it works or how to fix something.
TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD
This means that whatever she is doing he can not hear the game on T.V. [ie. Vacuuming]
THAT'S INTERESTING DEAR
This means are you still talking about that same thing. I’m really not interested.
YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS
Means – I remember everything that interests me but I forgot your birthday or our anniversary.
OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL
Really means – I have severed a limb and may bleed to death, but I am not hurt. I need to go to the hospital for stitches, but I am a man. -OR- I need you to help me now before I bleed to death before your eyes.
HEY, I HAVE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I AM DOING
Really means – I will think of a reason really soon and then I will tell you.
I CAN'T FIND IT
I am clueless – nothing just fell into my open arms when I was standing there.
WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?
Really means – what did you catch me doing now that I should not be doing?
I HEARD YOU
Means, I have not the foggiest idea what you are talking about or what you just said and I am having trouble faking it.
YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE
Translated means - I am used to how you yell at me and I know it could be worse with someone else.
YOU LOOK TERRIFIC
Means – please do not try on another outfit, we have to go.
I AM NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE
Translated means – No one will ever see us again and I am too proud to ask for directions.
[Edited for equal opportunity]
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