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Do not show this to the kids :|

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  • Do not show this to the kids :|

    1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

    2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18 ) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

    3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

    This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 35 miles per hour.

    4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 1000 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 71,4200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

    5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

    In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
    HW 303
    Aug '04 SW-287 LW-232
    Restart - Apr 07 - SW 266 CW 225




    "Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you become."

  • #2
    Re: Do not show this to the kids

    Ha ha ha! I love this post. It's so funny. I am glad that you posted it for us to read.


    This is the second time trying Atkins and hopefully this time it will be a permanent life change for me.
    SW 340 (highest ever)/ CW 340/GW(#1) 250
    5'6", Female
    01/01/2010 restart date

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    • #3
      Re: Do not show this to the kids

      Cynic!!! Santa is real - alive and well!!




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      • #4
        Re: Do not show this to the kids

        yeah yeah, whatever
        HW 303
        Aug '04 SW-287 LW-232
        Restart - Apr 07 - SW 266 CW 225




        "Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you become."

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        • #5
          Re: Do not show this to the kids

          That is hilarious! hehe!!! good one!
          liz
          Highest wt 227
          Atkins start wt 215
          Restart 1/29/10 201
          Current 195
          Goal 149








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          • #6
            Re: Do not show this to the kids

            I love it........
            F/ 38yr



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            • #7
              Re: Do not show this to the kids

              Originally posted by TitianWasp
              Cynic!!! Santa is real - alive and well!!
              Right? I hear him every year coming to my house but I've yet to see him.

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              • #8
                Re: Do not show this to the kids

                Santa is magical, how else can he get down the chimney? We need to leave science out of Christmas and concentrate on visions of sugarfree sugarplums!
                My hubby & I in the Smokies!




                Jan. 23/06 -183
                July 23 -159
                Jan. 23/07 - 154 - 29 lbs.
                Aug 16 - 153 - 30 lb. mark
                Sep 26. '07-148.5
                Nov 26-153
                April 1, '08-155
                July7 '08-155
                6/11/09-148 - 35 lbs. loss



                ~Karen~

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                • #9
                  Re: Do not show this to the kids

                  OMG !! Emma where did you get this from?
                  Hayden.
                  www.haydenpritchard.com

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                  • #10
                    Re: Do not show this to the kids

                    Um, i posted it over on my forum last year, can't remember where it came from, sorry!
                    HW 303
                    Aug '04 SW-287 LW-232
                    Restart - Apr 07 - SW 266 CW 225




                    "Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you become."

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                    • #11
                      Re: Do not show this to the kids

                      OMG !! This is amazing. I can tell you a lot more about the background of your post, but since this is the internet, and it was back in 1991. Plus, you'd never belive me, and to be honest, I can't prove it.
                      Hayden.
                      www.haydenpritchard.com

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                      • #12
                        Re: Do not show this to the kids

                        I still believe!!!!!!!
                        Heidi
                        41-Female



                        My Journal


                        My Two Youngest



                        Tyler (GS) Olivia (D) Caleb(S) Cole (GS) and Alyssa (GD)

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                        • #13
                          Re: Do not show this to the kids

                          Get over it Heidi, Santa is dead

                          hehehe
                          HW 303
                          Aug '04 SW-287 LW-232
                          Restart - Apr 07 - SW 266 CW 225




                          "Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you become."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Do not show this to the kids

                            SHUT UP (sob sniff...)

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