anyone here ever elope or know anyone who has?

[keriann_forgoodthistime]

Ok - i'm NOT seriously thinking about it - but it's been crossing my mind...

we HAVE a good amount of money in our savings to start for the wedding...BUT the more logical thinker in me keeps thinking..."wow - we're going to spend close to $10,000 for ONE FREAKING DAY" - when we could use that for some of our debts or things we need to do to improve the house - go on a fabulous vacation...etc, etc.

we've already put $1000 deposit on our ceremony / reception site (same place) which TOTAL will cost us about $7,000 (so we owe 6) but i'm honestly thinking about finding a cheaper place (and the funny thing, we're actually getting a freakin' rediculous discount because my fiance is the manager of a catering company who's worked at this place before and so we're doing our own catering...normally the place, with food costs between $15 & $25K...but they set up EVERYTHING for you.)

And I know we're doing silk flowers and a lot of "cutting costs" such as that by doing a lot of stuff ourselves - but part of me just keeps thinking about the REDICULOUS amount of money it costs and how we could use that for other NEEDED things...

i don't really want to elope, as i'm that little girl who's always wanted a fabulous wedding - BUT the logical person inside of me won't go away! lol

so in all honesty - HAVE any of you here ever eloped? or known of anyone who has?... just curious.

[Lisa]

Re: anyone here ever elope or know anyone who has?

Marriage price tag jitters are amazing at getting to your special day...don't let that happen . We didn't elope although we sometimes joke about that we should have, but we have great memories with the mix of the drama that unfolded that day. We married in a small Baptist church because it was the thing to do with our families merging when all we really wanted to do was get married on the beach and then go on a cruise. I'm still waiting for that cruise... . In short...my DH was late for his own wedding because he "couldn't find" his tux, my mom threw a hissy fit in front of God and everyone because he was late and why wasn't I ask ticked off as she was, the photographer (aka: my DH's coworker) was late, the cake flowers were supposed to be peach and seafoam green not pink and green, the cake topper sunk in the cake, the wine never made it to the reception and was switched with apple cider (apple cide makes me vomit) by my mom, the dinner reception was changed from the church to a bar with people bringing in a pot luck (again switched by my mom), and when DH and I finally left to our hotel on the beach where we wished we would have gotten married, the upstairs guests decided to have a jumping off their bed contest and puke all night long. So...I guess you could say, eloping would have been great, but we would have missed all the excitement!


You just have to figure out how you and your honey want to remember the day you are united.

I'm not a professional advisor but being married for 16 years, without credit cards or a mortgage payment for the past 5 years, and just 3 payments away from being car-payment free....and getting ready to start paying on student loans (oh, yea)....I'm voting for you to chop what you can off the expense without chopping off the memories. If you can't see chopping off certain areas because of memories to make, don't. If you can, do and put the funds on your debt (I'm so voting for putting the money on your debt because I know what debt can do). In other words, if you can look back in 5 years, maybe 10, and see that the money, energy, and time was worth what you spent on your wedding, the memories are priceless. Besides, remember that you and your honey are worth the special times to celerate with your family and friends how you wish to. Sorry if I'm not much help, but just remember that it's your special day, make it the most for memories not debt for you and your honey

[keriann_forgoodthistime]

Re: anyone here ever elope or know anyone who has?

the biggest problem in my mind, though - is that i already have $40k in student loans, two cars (one at 10K and the other at 8K) plus a credit card at 10K

and i really do NOT want to put myself in anymore debt! ack1!!!!

[Lisa]

Re: anyone here ever elope or know anyone who has?

It sounds like you're really wanting to pay off that debt instead of paying 10k on your wedding that would be fabulous, too. That's a toughy. I'm such a "dump the debt" advocate...paying off the car loans and then attacking the student loans because the car loans will cost you more in the long run and lower your debt ratio (and you REALLY want to lower your debt ratio). I'll think good thoughts for you today

[Sunny_0ne]

Re: anyone here ever elope or know anyone who has?

I eloped and never regretted it. We had a very special dinner at a nice restaurant for a few close friends and family in lieu of a reception, and it was memorable to us.

For some people it IS very important.

[Zarabelle]

Re: anyone here ever elope or know anyone who has?

Friends of ours eloped. They got married on a beach and told everyone when they got back! They have never regretted it. I don't think even close family went....

We had a planned wedding abroad. My MIL owns a hotel in Zanzibar and it was just too much of a good opportunity. I thought it would scale down the wedding but in the end 36 people flew out for it! My Dad paid for everything on the big day so all booze as well as food etc. We had the most excellent live band which was lucky as I had never heard them play before!! The cost was a fraction of what it would have been here and there was LOADS of booze left over. We even imported champagne as they don't have it over there on the whole and I couldn't have my wedding without bubbly and I think the whole thing cost about £2500 (british pounds). (I think the average UK wedding is about £10,000-£15,000). We were very lucky as MIL let the guests pay US$50 per room, per night for the hotel so everyone had a good value holiday. (you find out who your friends are when you have an overseas wedding too!

[clogger]

Re: anyone here ever elope or know anyone who has?

We eloped! I don't regret it one bit and 2 1/2 years later I am filled with excitement and nostalgia over our adventure as I write this. Long story short...he asked on a Sunday and we were married the next day in Gatlinburg, TN. It was soooooo fun!

You and your fiance should take a few days off of work, hop in the car, and drive to Gatlinburg, TN (In IN you're closer than we were from WI). Then tell everyone after you're married. That's another fun memory...the reactions from people. Priceless!

Six months later we had a reception so we could celebrate with friends and family. You could even have a reception "picnic" when it gets nice out. That would be very inexpensive.

Our marriage is made up of just us two, for life. Our adventure was just us two, focusing on each other, and we have these incredible memories for life.

If you have any questions let me know. I'd even give you my phone number via PM if you want to talk about it, ask questions, etc. This is so exciting!

-------------

On a side note if you haven't checked him out before you look up Dave Ramsey and his Financial Peace plan. I highly recommend it.

[keriann_forgoodthistime]

Re: anyone here ever elope or know anyone who has?

wow! I honestly didn't think a lot of people would reply to this! lol.
It's very cool and interesting to learn who has. I spoke it over with Dan and while he agrees it would save money - he does NOT want to elope and keeps telling me we'll be ok money wise...but yeah - of course i'm going to be the one to worry about it - I'M the one who does all of our finances!!! (after we bought the house, we joined our accounts and we both decided I'd be the one in charge of our finances as i'm 'anal' about my money/checking account/paying bills, etc...and he HATES paying bills so it's perfect! haha)...

But yeah. i know part of me'd like to do it - but it's not going to happen because i still do want the big party and show off to everyone - specially once i'm a size 8 anyways!

[Zarabelle]

Re: anyone here ever elope or know anyone who has?

You could get married overseas and just have close friends and family there and then have a big party/reception when you get back when you could wear your dress again! I wore a traditional dress - I took it all the way to Zanzibar with me! Like Clogger, I have amazing memories of my wedding and wouldn't change it for the World! x

[keriann_forgoodthistime]

Re: anyone here ever elope or know anyone who has?

You could get married overseas and just have close friends and family there and then have a big party/reception when you get back when you could wear your dress again! I wore a traditional dress - I took it all the way to Zanzibar with me! Like Clogger, I have amazing memories of my wedding and wouldn't change it for the World! x

I have thought of doing that too...but again - it's just the logical side of me thinking all these things (for money reasons).

I do think it's awesome for those who do have such wonderful stories like yours and cloggers though!

I know my wedding will be absolutely wonderful - it's just money issues.

[gmule]

Re: anyone here ever elope or know anyone who has?

Another one that eloped. In April we will be celebrating 10 years. Vegas was our choice. as cheesy as it sounds we found a nice place off the strip that took care of everything for us. It was a nice ceremony without the stereotype of a Vegas wedding. We invited immediate family members.

If you think weddings are expensive wait until you see what they charge for children.

[blueberrylady]

Re: anyone here ever elope or know anyone who has?

We eloped too. The different families wanted different things and there was no money for a big wedding, which we didn't want anyway, so we just went to a JP. Her office was in her home and she took us into her lovely livingroom to perform the ceremony and had her ds and dil stand as our witnesses. It was all nice and simple, we had fun and have never regretted it. We've been married now for 42 years!

[FLdoodette]

Re: anyone here ever elope or know anyone who has?

We eloped, also (13 years ago in May). A disclaimer: It was the third marriage for both of us, so you can see why we wanted to keep it simple But I recommend it if you 1) want to save a bucket of money and 2) want to keep it just about the two of you and not a bunch of family drama (right, Lisa?!)!

We took a shuttle boat from Marco Island down to Key West ... the seas were so rough, even the captain was barfing (I could've gotten a great shot of my soon-to-be DH puking into a garbage pail, but decided against it ... I personally took a Dramamine and didn't get sick); we already had our license and then ran around downtown looking for someone to marry us (we found a notary and were married on the roof of a bed 'n breakfast we weren't even staying at). Then off to a reggae bar for some cold beer. The shuttle was supposed to return to Marco Island around 4 p.m. but the seas were still so rough, the captain refused, so were we bused back in cramped little shuttle buses with concrete-like seats, through Alligator Alley. One of the buses broke down and we were stuck at a gas station out in the boondocks for about three hours. We finally got home around 6 a.m. the next day and fell into bed, too tired to even consummate the marriage!

It's been all uphill since then!

[keriann_forgoodthistime]

Re: anyone here ever elope or know anyone who has?

If you think weddings are expensive wait until you see what they charge for children.

hahaha tellme about it. i keep joking with my mom (asides from the fact that i've never been married and have always planned on waiting until marriage...) but i've always joked with my mom that one of the main reasons i have no kids yet is that i can't afford em!!!!

[Velcrocat]

Re: anyone here ever elope or know anyone who has?

DH and I eloped 35 yrs ago. We met on the 23rd of March and were married on the 29th of July. The only people at our wedding were his sister, an old beau of mine ( he introduced us) and the JP. We were married in the courthouse in New Westminster, BC. The next day I called my parents and told them. We had a camping honeymoon. Twenty-five years later my DH surprised me with the church wedding I wanted to have to renew our vows and it was beautiful He even planned a second honeymoon for us in Maui. All this without my knowledge.