Anyone else getting back into social circles after weight loss?

[JohnSantos]

Working from home and being huge fat, I pretty much haven't left the house much in the past 3 years. So Saturday night I went to see a band at a bar, everybody was taking pictures. Then I saw the pics, and I looked like a walrus. Couldn't hear anybody talking, so I bailed.

Then I joined a new church, everybody was really nice but my social skills just aren't what they used to be. Before, I would have a crowd around me laughing about topics, now I just stand in the corner, hesitant to talk to people.

Think I'll go to a huge club next Friday and Saturday, and just force myself to talk to groups of people. Looking like a walrus, I'll repeatedly epic fail but I have to get these skills mastered before I'm thin again and looking good. I'd hate to arrive at my goal and start completely from scratch.

Good thing about a club, absolutely nobody remembers you or cares you biblical failed at talking to crowds of people. In a smaller setting (church, etc) it would be worse. Small parties and social gatherings will be cake after putting myself through that torture. Practice city for $9 cover charge.

Anyone else going through the same awkwardness?

[momtomany1]

Re: Anyone else getting back into social circles after weight loss?

Do you like to read? I just read Maltz's Psycho-Cybernetics. It might be just what you need to help you transition into your new life. Very pragmatic, practical, doable suggestions for reworking your 'psyche' while you rework your body!

Used copies available very cheaply at Amazon!

But I think what you are going through is quite common, persons coming out of a depression would experience similar things, former 'cutters,' former alcoholics.... we all want to be accepted but struggle with our self image. I think you are very brave to venture back into territory that now feels unfamiliar, I really do commend you!

[Whatsername]

Re: Anyone else getting back into social circles after weight loss?

I am a bit shy yet have always been pretty social. I do better with a smaller group.

Right now, I have no social life and no real friends nearby. I need to do something to get myself out there. Easier said than done though. I commend you for trying! For going out there and doing something to try to improve your life.

A lot of it is confidence. I know that makes a difference. My best friend is overweight and she is beautiful. Between her and I, she is very self conscious. Around other people she is full of confidence and people are drawn to her. Something about her showing confidence...other people don't notice her weight, they are just drawn to her. That is something I have tried to work on.

Well, kind of babbling here but just wanted you to know you aren't alone.

Take care! Jane

[ElizabethLC]

Re: Anyone else getting back into social circles after weight loss?

I am incredibly shy in groups/public like that too. I don't have any advice for you but I just wanted you to know that I feel the same way too. There oughta be a bar especially for people like us.

[JohnSantos]

Re: Anyone else getting back into social circles after weight loss?

Around other people she is full of confidence and people are drawn to her.

Yeah confidence and self-image seem to trump all other social factors.

[Lisa]

Re: Anyone else getting back into social circles after weight loss?

I am incredibly shy in groups/public like that too. I don't have any advice for you but I just wanted you to know that I feel the same way too. There oughta be a bar especially for people like us.

They already have those around here, they're called "kareokee singing" bars.

Hi, I'm Lisa and I'm a recovering introvert breaking out the extrovert. How did it happen? I forced myself to do public speaking engagements (in churchs no less...lol...mostly women's bible studies) and went to school to be a teacher. Do I recommend that you lead a women's bible study? Well, that might be kind of cool, or maybe become a teacher even. But seriously I could see you as a speaker and encourager to others. Best wishes!