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  • My BF got me started, but won't join me.....

    Hi everyone.

    My boyfriend got me started on this diet, back in the beginning of February. I weighed 160 when I met him, he's a great,fantastic,cook, and before I knew it I was up to 220 lbs !!!! something I'd never weighed before, even being full term pregnant. I thought about gastric surgery since weight has been a life long issue. Was going to the doctor for 6 months in preparation, only to find out after completing that, that my reg MD was not filling out the charts in the "wording" the the doctor wanted so that my INS plan would cover it. The doctor simply rejected my paperwork without so much as a phone call. It was only after silence for a few weeks, then persistance on my part that I found that much out. After 6 months, including the heat of the summer, with that BS; I thought, I've got to do something else. My BF had done atkins previously and was very successful. Sadly, he too gained wieght as I did. ( new love?? LOL ) So I thought, what the heck I'll give it a try. Started end of January this year, and was faithful to the letter. Never cheated. Never lost a pound either this entire month. I thought, only me.......... But I kept at it. In February, low and behold, I lost 8 lbs. and I thought ONLY 8 LBS?? for that I can follow any diet. So I went off. and within a few days I didn't feel the same, so I went back on the Atkins routine. Since that time, I've now lost 46 lbs. In March I lost 11 pounds, but then after that it's been slow, 6 a month, 4 a month, as such. But who cares? I'm losing not gaining. while losing "only" 4 pounds a month can be discouraging, if I would have GAINED 4 lbs, I'da been devestated. I've gone from a size 20 to a 14. I am still considered obese, but I feel a whole lot better. I have a whole wardrobe of clothing in my closet, and each month I'm getting into clothes I haven't worn in years. When I first started this diet, I got alot of flack from my eldest daughter, an RN. I tuned her out. well, now she says, "yeah, I'd try ATkins too, but I can't give up my pasta." hmpf. what a turn around. I have a few friends who say common things. "I'd do that too, but I can't give up ________ " ( fill in the blank, be it bread, milk, you name it. ) and my thought is, well, if you can't give up certain foods, then you can't give up being fat. I have 6 daughters. and 2 of them are reed reed thin. they can eat anything they want and never gain weight, and they actually truly also have small, very small bone structures. The rest of us? the other 4 girls and myself? all struggle to maintain weight. What's the bottom line? My body's makeup is to want to be fat. If I want to successfully fight that, then I have to be not only able, but willing to give up certain foods -- FOR LIFE !
    Me? I'm not only successful on this Atkins way of eating, I'm happy on it. I eat out, go to picnics, do all the usual things. I can always find something to eat, no matter what the situation or event. I do not fall back on the ole..... "well, it's vacation, a birthday party, etc, so I can cheat a little". there is always an excuse to eat. It's the world we live in. If I simply must have something sweet, I go get sugar free jello, heavy cream and splenda, and make my own whipped cream and jello. If I must have something salty and crunchy, I go and get the good old Pork Rinds. yeah, I know ugh, but they work.
    But --- what to do with my boyfriend?? he's steadily gained while I've lost. oh, he'll cook for me, things I can eat, and his cooking can be sinfully delicious. But he'll also add in things I won't eat. potatoes, desserts, etc. I've mentioned just a few times, him joining me back on the diet, his idea after all; but he states, he's not ready. He'll say things like, after this business trip..... but then, doesn't do it. when he gets home from work, he'll immediately change into comfortable sweats and a tee shirt. why?? well because they fit him loosely of course, not tight like his jeans. He travels about 5 x's a year, and says he has to go to business dinners. 3 times we've had to go shopping so he can buy bigger clothes. and he's never a happy camper during those times. I've said, honey, on trips you can just eat a steak and small salad, you dont' have to announce out loud that you're dieting. no one need know........ I think part of his problem is Rick is an excellent cook, he shoulda been a chef. Those types of people know food, inside and out, know how it should taste, what foods blend together so well, etc. they critique food and restaurants. he loves to make food taste the best it can. Me? just take away the hunger. As I said, I try to not mention things to him. But, at 5'9 he's now up to over 300 pounds, so it's not something that's healthy that's for sure. I've told him, I love you either way honey, but I am concerned. As a rule though, I do not and never will nag him about it. I was wondering if anyone had any subtle ways I could encourage him to go back with me on the diet. Next week, we're going to see his sister, whom we haven't seen since Christmas. I was thinking she'll make several compliments and comments on my weight loss. I thought maybe I could make sure I give credit to Rick for getting me on this diet, and maybe thank him yet again on the way home. to give him a nudge to join me. I don't wanna turn into a nag, but I"m at a loss at what might help him get started.
    any suggestions??
    ps, sorry, I ramble so..............
    Theresa aka: MOMTO6IX

  • #2
    Re: My BF got me started, but won't join me.....

    Hi Theresa,

    Congrats on you weight loss success!

    As for your BF, that's hard one...I think he's hit the nail on the head when he said he's not ready to be serious about a new eating plan. Other than continuing to "show" him with your success, it will need to be his decision in the end.
    Shelly

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    • #3
      Re: My BF got me started, but won't join me.....

      Good luck Theresa, I know you will succeed.
      sigpic260/215/180 Male - 36 y/o

      It never ceases to amaze me of how easy and how effective this ***diet*** is!!




      I have since re-gained a bit of weight, but that is soon to be coming off again!

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      • #4
        Re: My BF got me started, but won't join me.....

        I admire your will and stamina! I agree with Sheshy and your observation, not ready is not ready. We can't make anyone do something they don't want to. Have you asked him why he's not ready? Is there any fear about becoming a different person if he loses the weight? ((((Theresa))))

        Check out our Low Carb Recipes website and add to it!!
        My Journal Chat
        Start Date/Weight 6 March 06/186lb(84.5kg)
        Goals <140lb(63.6kg)Check!><130lb(59kg)><120lb(54.4kg)>
        5'3"(1.6m)/29/f
        I've lost 46 pounds since March '06...
        New Year, new goal!!


        If you read and listen to the book and its advice, you will succeed. Nothing worth having ever came easy.
        "A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand." -- Bertrand Russell

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        • #5
          Re: My BF got me started, but won't join me.....

          I'm not sure why Rick is not ready. I think my best plan of attack is to not talk about it. I tell him I love him either way, when he's ready he'll be ready.

          I went to the website that was mentioned, FitDay. OMG what a wonderful site !! I was shocked at what it says I've been eating, and wonder how I managed to loss weight after all.......LOL.

          thanx for the advice guys. keep up the good work.

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