I want a better me, for my family.

[digitalcowboy]

I managed to quit smoking after 9 years, most of that spent smoking a pack a day. Of course I had fallen in love and my future wife told me to quit or she couldn't see me anymore. Simple choice. I knew on our second date that she was the one for me. Not going to give that up over cigarette's.

Now I find myself in a much more precarious position. I am ADDICTED to food, overweight, getting older, and worried if I will be around to see my 2 boys through school, and into families of their own. Ok, so they are only 3 years old and 18 months old. Clearly I have time to correct. But I have been on Atkins now for 7 days and while I am losing weight I am not yet in Ketosis, and I am CRAVING carbs like crazy!

Everyday I wonder if this will be the day I give in. Everytime I eat something that I 'think' is ok, I find out later it is not. This just seems to add fuel to my self doubt. I have been battling my weight my entire life and I sometimes wonder if I have the strength to keep on fighting. Then I look at pictures of my wife and kids and soldier on.

This is just like quitting smoking. I am moody, resentful, and the thought of my health deteriorating is not enough to make me stop eating. It's the guilt I feel when I think about leaving my family cause I couldn't stop stuffing my face.

My relationship with food is very much love/hate in case you hadn't picked up on that. Worse yet, this diet seems to be making those feelings worse.

I really need help getting through this. My wife is on Atkins as well and doing great. She kicks my butt daily to keep me on track. This of course has a downside in that I feel inadequate in that I am not able to motivate myself entirely. I think maybe I need therapy as much as I need to lose weight.

In any case, this is my story. I am posting this here to see if I am alone or if others share the same feelings. I'd be interested to know how you dealt with, or are dealing with these emotions.

I am a 33 year old male in Whitby, Ontario, Canada.

Current weight - 320 lbs
Starting weight - Don't know, scale gave an error message (to fat I guess)
Goal Weight - 250 lbs

At 250 pounds I would weight less than I did in grade 9.

Cheers.

[JMarsa202]

Re: I want a better me, for my family.

Hey Digital:

Firstly, congratulations for quitting smoking.

I have done Atkins one time before, with some success (this was about 3 years ago, before baby #2). I was HATING the first week or so. Even the thought of remaining fat and unhealthy, at the time, wasn't motivating to me. I understand what you are saying.

You're fortunate to have your wife to help you out. Please, please, don't feel inadequate! If you keep with it, you will increase in strength, and each time you improve, you will start feeling better and more confident about yourself.

Personally, for my motivation, I either have it or I don't. I don't know what triggers it, but it's like a switch is flipped in my head. I have found, though, that this board is a wonderful place for support and advice. These people here know what they are talking about, so I think we're in a good place!

Keep up your good work. I wish you success.

[sallyseachange]

Re: I want a better me, for my family.

Hello there Digital... welcome to the board. It' a great place for support and inspiration and I'm sure will be of help to you when you waver. It's saved many a dieter from falling off the wagon big time.

You've done great to have given up smoking. I'm sure you can conquer your food addictions too. Keep very focused on the prize whenever cravings hit. Drink a huge glass of water and think about how short is the pleasure of eating something "illegal" and how long the subsequent regret.

Your family is great motivation and you have your wife to share your journey to better health with, which is terrific.
Believe me, it gets easier and easier as you go along, but you must break the carb addiction by sticking to the plan rigidly. That way you'll conquer the sugar demons and, slowly but surely, the cravings will subside.

Hang in there... you really can do this and we're all here to help you.

[Super30's]

Re: I want a better me, for my family.

I know exactly what you are saying. If it helps - I have never worried about ketosis or even tried to find out whether or not I am in ketosis or not - I don't think you should even worry about it. When I started Atkins I felt that (from previous experience) it is best to not have too many things to focus on when still trying to make this a way of life. I only focused on every hour (to have a 100% Atkins hour) and on finding something else to do when I thought too much about illegal foods. And eventually , when I went to bed at night I would relise that it was yet another day of following this way of eating correctly - after a short while you will actually start to feel really great physically and then you will want to do this programme.

Just push through and enjoy the fact that you have someone doing it with you. Do not compare your progress with your wives - it is NOT a good thing to do for it can de-motivate you when you lose slower that her. My husband does not have a weight problem (he is currently in Toronto on business - we are from Cape Town, South Africa) and it always discouraged me to see how easy it is for him to stay in shape, but once I let it go and started to truelly focu on myself the changes started coming!

FOCUS ON YOURSELF AND PUSH YOURSELF -YOU WILL BE PROUD OF IT!!!!

[Scooterjam]

Re: I want a better me, for my family.

Digital Cowboy, yippee kiay my friend. Welcome to the board.

First off, this is not a Diet. If you look at it as a Diet, you will be resentful of it. Diet's suck, plain and simple, no doubt, why? I don't know, they just do.

This Plan is a way to change your life. I came to this site almost a year ago, I weighed 295 pounds, other than playing music a couple times a month, I had no exercise. I ate nothing but carbs. Sugar and Flour and Diet Soda.... hello my name is Scooter, I'm a carb addict, no, no, need to stand, thank you thank you....please, sit down.....it's okay....I'm good!

But...............I have overcome it and I've lost 73 pounds. I no longer crave sugar and flour. Why? Because the motivation of A. BEING AROUND TO SEE MY CHILDREN GROW UP AND HAVE CHILDREN OF THEIR OWN. B. MORE GIGS TO PLAY OUT C. LOOKING GOOD IN GENERAL AND SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT WITHOUT WAKING UP DUE TO POOR CIRCULATION. D through Z - TO FEEL ALIVE.

Now, that being said, it is very easy to get into this frame or state of mind. I think when I started I bought some of those Keto strips, I never got them to change from red to purple to metalic pee green, nothing, I don't use them, I think they are still in the medicin cabinet. I do however, count everything that I put into my mouth so I can watch my carb intake. I use a free online service called www.fitday.com to do so.

Last night for example, we cooked out on the grill. I had BBQ chicken breast, I had Faux Potato Salad, (My family doesn't eat low carb, but they scarfed the chicken and the fake potato salad down) I had a side salad made of spinach leaves that had crumbled blue cheese, bacon, mushrooms, tomato, cucumber, homemade italian dressing, an ice cold glass of club soda with a splash of sugar free raspberry syrup in it, oh yes, and for dessert, pumpkin whip (pumpkin,cream cheese, splenda, cinnammon) with homemade whipped cream (made with heavy whipping cream) on top.

Dude. I eat good. I don't just eat, I eat freaking GOOD!!!

This can be you. YOU CAN DO THIS, YOU WANT TO DO THIS. I mean, look at what you did, stopping smoking. I've never smoked, my wife does, and she has never been able to stop. I applaud that you have. This is just another series of 'Obstacles' put in your way! Keep on doing as you've said, keep looking at pictures of your wonderful, beautiful family, your lovely beautiful wife, remember your motivation, visualize that all day long, tape their picture to your refrigerator, (I do this but mine is a picture of me at 295....) so that everytime you hit that refrigerator, you can say 'Do I really want to eat or am I just bored?'

Anyway, we are happy to have to with us!! Welcome to the boards, don't be a stranger, if I'm having a 'crave' I always come here and check out the before and after pics, they help me 100% percent!!

Best of luck, Life is good!

[Jace]

Re: I want a better me, for my family.

Welcome DigitalCowboy!

Glad to have you with us...like the others have said, just stick with it and you'll find it gets easier every day.

Best of luck on your weight loss journey and if you need anything just give a shout!

~Far la bella figura!

[cathyjobob]

Re: I want a better me, for my family.

Wow...you're dedication to your wife and family is both impressive and sweet. It looks like you've already received some very good advice and well wishes from other great members here. So just let me say welcome

[sillygirl]

Re: I want a better me, for my family.

Hi digitalcowboy! Welcome to the board. You sound very committed to this, and that's a great thing! Please post often so we can watch your progress! Give a shout out if you need any guidance, that's what we're here for!

[dreamof145]

Re: I want a better me, for my family.

Welcome!! Jump in, make friends and get involved! We're all here for you and want to see you succeed!

[Ms Blue]

Re: I want a better me, for my family.

Oh hang in there buddy. I know it can be frustrating and discouraging but it will sooo be worth it. You licked cigarettes, I KNOW you can lick this! If you find you are an emotional eater, go to the emotional eater forum and get yourself a mentor. You can so do this! You are worth it. Just remember we are all here to support you. It sounds like you have some support at home too. I am glad your wife is doing well but try not to compare yourself to her. You are your own guy and you'll lose at your own rate. The best way to stick with the program is to get involved. Get involved with the menus and menu ideas, experiment in the kitchen (with some guidance), figure out a fun exercise whether it's dancing or bowling or whatever! You can totally do this, don't give up. You will be so pleased with yourself in the end. Darlin' nothing tastes as good as thin feels!

[Stargirl]

Re: I want a better me, for my family.

Hi male from canada!

I am in the same situation and I understand you very well. I found it very easy to quit smoking (about 17 years ago) - you just have to stop doing it. But you can never stop eating, the body needs food! That it is making so difficult I guess.

Don't feel like a looser because your wife is pushing you. I am convinced she justs wants to support you to make it easier for you. If you feel it is to much, tell her that you want to deal with it on your own, that you want to find your own way. Ask her if it would be "okay" if you fail - she will love you anyway, wouldn't she? This might take out the pressure a little bit. And remember: YOU are having this feelings. Maybe it is just something you imagine?

I am wondering: Having a proff in the family, how can you eat "wrong" food? Ask her to put a list on the fridge with all the foods you may have under the introduction.

Use the scale, a cup or whatever to measure everything you may have, like salad, cream and so on. And most important: Prepare your food for the next days so you always know what you can eat if you're getting hungry. Take care of your food to get the feeling that you are in charge of what you are eating, that it is your choice!

Maybe we just have to accept that the introduction isn't that funny, after all it is just two weeks, you have to be strong. Trust me, I know how hard it is, I am running around like a tiger in a cage...

I guess that you don't do sports because you are really heavy. If you feel depressed or desperate, get some snickers on, go out and take a walk. Take some water with you and try to calm down while you're going. You are a human being, a part of nature and you have the same beauty like the birds in the sky and the trees in the wood. You are part of it, you are alive. You are special, because there is no one on this planet like you. FEEL your beauty, it will make you strong and independant!

Remember: A lot of your negativ thoughts about yourself are caused by youre overweight, both, mentaly (I am a loser, I am addicted to food, I won't make it) and physically (your body actually is addicted, the overweight makes you feel heavy and sick). While losing weight wou will also loose all the negativ thoughts about yourself. You will feel like a prince on your way and like a king when you made it to the goal.

It is your life, take responsibility for it - only you can do it!

[ncarolina]

Re: I want a better me, for my family.

Hey, and welcome! The people on this board are absolutely great and you will get so much support and help from them.

I quit smoking last year and it was beyond difficult, so hooray for you for doing that!! Remember how it felt the first few weeks where you wanted to knock down total strangers and wrench their burning cigarette from their fingers just to have a puff? But remember how you had your mind made up and you just stayed focused and kept going, and you succeeded? Well, that is kind of how the very beginning of this all is as you wean off carbs, or at least it was for me. the great news? Just like smoking, the cravings really do pass. And then it just gets better and better---the food is superb and the recipes are endless and you have a really neat support group here. Also, it WORKS---no doubt about it. You can count on results and success in the months to come b/c it absolutely WORKS!! You get really excited to get up in the mornings b/c you know you are doing this! there are easy days and not so easy days, but this is by far the healthiest way to meet your goals. Good luck and hang in there!!!

EDIT

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