I would like to trade a heaping spoonful of self loathing for a bowl of self esteem!

[Pook Pookerson]

Hi y'all! I am new to the whole Atkins thing, but so far so good. I think the most amazing and eye opening thing about starting this journey is that when you pay attention, you realize that sugar is added to everything. I had unknowingly become a sugar addict by eat those 'good for me' foods!

My first week on Atkins I lost 5 pounds. Is it crazy that I am not happy about that? I wish it was more.

So, I never have been skinny, always just average. Not fat, no skinny, I was middle of the road chick. I had my child at age 32 and I gained all this weight (I'm about 40 pounds heavier than I was pre-pregnancy). My (ex)boyfriend was actually MAD that I couldn't lose the weight in 3 months, as he expected (he actually made a comment that Denise Richards could do it, so why couldn't I) ! In any case, we broke up, and I got more depressed so I didn't do anything about the extra weight. Here I am 2 years later and I am just so tired of the self loathing. I can't look in a mirror, I hate all of my clothes and I basically don't like to go out with my friends because I hate the way I look. I have only a handful of pictures with my beautiful child, because I hate the way I look in pics. It just is no way to live.

So, here I am, hoping that this will be it. The good news is that all the food cravings are gone. One thing I did notice, is I had a diet pepsi, and that triggered cravings again, so I am off the diet soda for good.

I am still on induction and planning on staying on it for the month of December. I am also kicking up my physical activity too. I want this to happen as fast as possible so that I can stop hating myself and emphasizing what I failure I am in the weight department, and focus on the poistive things I do...

Any advice from the experienced members would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks for listening

[Jace]

Re: I would like to trade a heaping spoonful of self loathing for a bowl of self esteem!

Welcome to Pook Pookerson!

I think the best advice I can give is drink your water, exercise exercise exercise, and make sure you get your 3 cups of veggies a day. Keep on track and you'll find the success you're looking for.

I wouldn't focus so much on how "fast" you can lose weight as it will slow down farther into the process. It can be demoralizing when you have a speedy expectation and see small losses on the scale. It's more of a matter of losing weight and following the Atkins plan all the way to the end. Don't stay on induction too long because you want the weight gone now, think of the future. Most people who stay on induction far too long tend to end up in the second time around club. You need to get to OWL as soon as you feel comfortable as it will teach you what foods you can and can't handle and how to make Atkins a way of life rather than just a diet.

Best of luck on your weight loss journey and if you need anything please feel free to give a shout!

~Far la bella figura!

[cgdat136]

Re: I would like to trade a heaping spoonful of self loathing for a bowl of self esteem!

first of all.....you can't hate yourself and then be successful at anything!

if you cannot admire you current physical appearance, you must acknowledge your two feet and your two hands and your brain. these are just a few of the change agents that will take you to where you want to be. so you must love the ability that you have to change and the potential you have to change. you can do this just like anyone else with the same amount of commitment, strength and passion!

there is an expression, "if you believe it you will achieve it."

there is no overnight cure though and you must realize that. there is a step by step progression that you will have to endure although it is not so hard. it's simply a matter of doing the right things and forming those healthy habits for both your mind and your body.

please know that no man, woman or child is any more capable than you.

[kelly50]

Re: I would like to trade a heaping spoonful of self loathing for a bowl of self esteem!

Welcome, Pook. So glad you joined us. This is a great place to get support, information, and ideas! Congratulations on losing 5.5lbs so far! I lost 2 lbs during induction. We all lose at different rates.

My only advice after being on this plan for 5 months is to be patient with your weight loss and body's timing for dropping the weight. If you are doing Atkins to a T, drinking your water, and exercising, the fat is melting off even if the scale is sometimes a little behind. Those times the scale is slow to budge don't get discouraged as that happens to us all. Be sure to measure! This will show inches lost even when pounds are stubbornly hanging on.

I look forward to seeing you around the board. You can do this! We are all here for you!

[kate58]

Re: I would like to trade a heaping spoonful of self loathing for a bowl of self este

Well done on making such a great start, and especially on recognising so quickly that diet soda was a problem and taking immediate action!

5lbs in a week is fantastic!! The general guideline is that you can expect to lose 5-10% of the weight you need to lose during induction - you've lost 10% in just a week!! Give yourself MUCH more credit, don't be hard on yourself or expect the impossible from your body - celebrate what you have done, which is just a wonderful thing for yourself.

Don't be in too mch of a rush - it took you years not weeks to get to the weight you are at. Be good to your body, let it lose the weight in its own time, don't obsess over the rate or over when you will get to your goal. Just stick like glue to the programme, concentrate on eating right one day at a time, and the rest will fall into place.

[Pook Pookerson]

Re: I would like to trade a heaping spoonful of self loathing for a bowl of self esteem!

Awwww, thanks fellas. I didn't mean to be a Debbie Downer...I also didn't mean to sound like I expect this to be a miracle and to happen overnight. I am definitely in this for the long haul, and am greatful that I have a place like this to chat about it with folks like yourself.

I guess the main thing is I am just ready to change. I'm 'all in'...that kind of ties in the with self loathing. I don't know if any of you can relate, but I am ready to be done with that too....

Thanks for all the kind words....

[dreamof145]

Re: I would like to trade a heaping spoonful of self loathing for a bowl of self esteem!

Congratulations on the 5 pounds!! Whoooppppeeee!!! I celebrate every pound as tho it were a 20 pound loss. When you are feeling like that...go to the store and pick up a 5 pound bag of dog food. Carry it around the store for a while and you'll realize the impact of your accomplishment. You are doing awesome. Don't look back and let negative thinking interfer with your plan to make it happen. We're here for you!! Congrats again!

[hopejoy]

Re: I would like to trade a heaping spoonful of self loathing for a bowl of self esteem!

Welcome to ADBB! You are in the right place! 5lbs is awesome! Make sure your do your measurements so that when the scale doesn't cooperate, you can at least see the change in inches which is a huge morale booster! Do it today! I waited for a whole month before measuring and I wish I hadn't! When I started I told myself that I would try to focus on 'one day at a time' instead of trying to accomplish everything at once and visualize what I would have accomplished in a year... I still try to remember that when I want to lose it all NOW... it helps to keep your perspective in the right place and realize that this isn't a 'diet' but a way of living (wol)and eating (woe) for life. Try also to focus on all that you can have vs what you can't ... Good luck and keep us posted on your succcess!
liz

[sallyseachange]

Re: I would like to trade a heaping spoonful of self loathing for a bowl of self esteem!

Welcome Pook Pookerson! Good to have you with us.

It seems you're off to a fantastic start... not just the 5 lb loss, but also the recognition of one of your trigger foods. Awesome!

You asked for tips... well, if you haven't already done it, I'd advise you get a copy of Dr Atkins New Diet Revolution - 2002 edition. It pays enormous dividends if you understand the science behind the Atkins way of eating.

Do post lots and share your journey to better health and a slimmer figure. We're all looking forward to cheering you along the way.

[Jessica Alexandra]

Re: I would like to trade a heaping spoonful of self loathing for a bowl of self esteem!

He was a jerk definately. i understand about not wanting to go out...It sucks!!! The biggest amen I have is about the diet soda. It took me a month to figure this out!!!!! All the sugar substitutes i was using in atkins shake and bars and diet soda or sugarless gum made me crave sugar ALL the time, while feeling deprived. But now that I stopped....I don't think about cheating nearly as much!!!! Really hardly at all. now when i think I want some carbs it's just b/c I'm hungry.... and am just not readjusted completely to wanting healthy food. I send my best wishes to u reaching your goal!!!

[Duck1972]

Re: I would like to trade a heaping spoonful of self loathing for a bowl of self esteem!

Pook,
I got tears in my eyes after reading your post. I have been there! It was hard for me to find pictures of me at my starting weight, 184, because I avoided cameras. I don't have many pictures of me with my babies. I really felt worthless. Once I decided that I was going to take control, everything turned around. 5 pounds is a huge accomplishment! Don't downplay that. Every day that goes by is a little more confidence you have earned and it will snowball! I'm impressed that you decided to start this during this month! That shows that you are committed to making a permanent change. I have lived with this extra weight for 10 years and every new year, I would make that "fake resolution" to lose weight to make myself feel better. By March, I was back to my old ways.
Good luck to you and just don't stop.

[Pook Pookerson]

Re: I would like to trade a heaping spoonful of self loathing for a bowl of self esteem!

Duck...

One of the things I like about this board is that there all kinds of people...it really helps me to see somebody like me (you)- 30's with kids, etc. It seems like such an uphill battle, but when I see other people in my similar situation doing it, well it seems more doable.

I hate that my self worth is wrapped up in my weight. I mean sheesh, I am good at the important stuff- being a good Mom, daughter, etc. But I still let my weight completely ruin the way I feel about me. Well, I'm on the right track now.

I saw your other post... You're the one who has the husband overseas right? Was he surprised by your weight loss?

[Duck1972]

Re: I would like to trade a heaping spoonful of self loathing for a bowl of self esteem!

Yes! He was very surprised! Didn't recognize me at first. This board is great!!!! Also, since I've started exercising and eating better, my daughter is watching me and is learning how important it is to be fit. I don't want her to struggle like I have.

It sounds like you are right on track! I'm so proud of you!

[pamelainaustin]

Re: I would like to trade a heaping spoonful of self loathing for a bowl of self esteem!

Pook,

I am brand new here and I must tell you how much I identify with your post.
I have let the negative feelings and self loathing due to my weight issues control me for a number of years and I am sick and tired of feeling that way all the time.

My husband of 23 years never comments on my weight other than telling me not to be so hard on myself. When we met in 1983 I weighed 130 and have gained 90 pounds since then. He has probably gained 5 pounds in the same period of time and still wears a size 32 waist jeans. I actually feel bad for him that he is married to a fat woman and I avoid meeting his work associates etc. due to feeling so self conscious. I am here because I too am sick and tired of feeling this way and letting my weight control my life.

Your post made me think of a dedication in a book by Joyce Vedral that I have had for a long time. It really speaks to the self esteem issues that surround weight issues.

"To all of us--the women (and men) who are bound and determined to
have the best body possible so that we can free the highest part of our
beings, the mind, and concentrate on achieving goals and living our lives
to the fullest."

You are in the right place and doing the right things. I know your success will continue.

Pam

[sillygirl]

Re: I would like to trade a heaping spoonful of self loathing for a bowl of self esteem!

I Pook! I love your screen name! Congrats on your decision to eat this way and the 5 pounds you've lost doing so!

You say that your self-worth is wrapped up in your weight. I've got good news for you, you are not alone. In fact, in this month we have the I Am Worth It Challenge coming up. Watch for it here:
http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.c...play.php?f=108

It's a challenge all about us! It involves a little homework, mostly positive affirmations. More importantly, by joining the challenge you will meet a bunch of other people, just like us!!!

Here's the last one we did if you want to look through it to get an idea of it. All challenges are open to anyone, and are a great way to become involved on the board, therefore staying on the Atkins wagon!
http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.c...ad.php?t=45176


Best of luck to you.