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Hello everyone,
It's been a very long time since I've posted on this forum. I've lurked for a long time, actually starting this WOE in January 2006 but joined the forum before that. Anywhooo, in Jan. '06 I was 260+ lbs, I started a very clean induction and walked everyday. By July '06 I was 199. Once I saw that number on the scale, I don't know what happened. For some reason I thought that I could do this on my own that I could stray from this woe and still maintain or lose. I was so wrong. I kept trying to modify it to suit me at the time, but I didn't work as well as I had hoped. From Jan.-July I was feeling really good about myself, and was actually looking better. I used to get excited about leaving the house and actually wanted to go places and do things which I had not wanted to do in a long time. Then I started to gain the weight back. It was slow at first, because I was still trying to get some exercise in, but I had not exercised any in the last 3 months. I am now back at 245. I had gotten rid of all my fat clothes, telling myself that I would never need them again. I had gone from size 26 to size 18. Now my 18s don't fit. As I gained some weight I bought a few size 22s, and now they are so tight I can't breathe. In my shame, and unwilingness to spend a lot of money, I went to a goodwill 45 minutes away from my home to by a few items of clothing to be able to wear to work while I try to do this again. Imagine my shock when I got home and noticed that the size 24 pants I bought from the Goodwill did not fit. They were too small.
I cried for two days. I only have myself to blame. I had a horrible Christmas, because I was too embarassed to visit my family. I felt so uncomfortable in my clothes. The funny thing about all this is (well, not so funny) during the time I was actually losing weight, only my family noticed. When I did decide to leave home, I never saw anyone I knew. Since the weight gain, I run into people I know everywhere I go now. I had the most embarassing conversation at the gas station last weight with a classmate I hadn't seen in a while, but ironically was one of the few people I did see during my weight loss journey. She had this look of "what happened" on her face while we were talking. 
I'm so tired, my feet hurt, my knees ache while walking DOWN my stairs. I won't even go back upstairs after I come down for the rest of the day. I have absolutely NOTHING to wear. Everything is too small. I can't fit anything to go shopping for new clothes. I don't want to live like this. I can't. I'm tired of crying, it's time to sweat.
Another reason I feel like I need this forum, is because I don't have any fat friends. None of them understand what I go through. I actually had one to tell me that I don't need Atkins because it's not what I eat but how much. I tested that theory, did not work for me.
I'm done whinning now. Any advice/encouragement you can give will be appreciated.
32/Female/5'3"
HW: 263
SW: 245
CW: 245
GW: 165
Mini Goal #!: 235
Mini Goal #2 225
Mini Goal #3 215
Mini Goal #4 205
Mini Goal #5 195
It's been a very long time since I've posted on this forum. I've lurked for a long time, actually starting this WOE in January 2006 but joined the forum before that. Anywhooo, in Jan. '06 I was 260+ lbs, I started a very clean induction and walked everyday. By July '06 I was 199. Once I saw that number on the scale, I don't know what happened. For some reason I thought that I could do this on my own that I could stray from this woe and still maintain or lose. I was so wrong. I kept trying to modify it to suit me at the time, but I didn't work as well as I had hoped. From Jan.-July I was feeling really good about myself, and was actually looking better. I used to get excited about leaving the house and actually wanted to go places and do things which I had not wanted to do in a long time. Then I started to gain the weight back. It was slow at first, because I was still trying to get some exercise in, but I had not exercised any in the last 3 months. I am now back at 245. I had gotten rid of all my fat clothes, telling myself that I would never need them again. I had gone from size 26 to size 18. Now my 18s don't fit. As I gained some weight I bought a few size 22s, and now they are so tight I can't breathe. In my shame, and unwilingness to spend a lot of money, I went to a goodwill 45 minutes away from my home to by a few items of clothing to be able to wear to work while I try to do this again. Imagine my shock when I got home and noticed that the size 24 pants I bought from the Goodwill did not fit. They were too small.
I cried for two days. I only have myself to blame. I had a horrible Christmas, because I was too embarassed to visit my family. I felt so uncomfortable in my clothes. The funny thing about all this is (well, not so funny) during the time I was actually losing weight, only my family noticed. When I did decide to leave home, I never saw anyone I knew. Since the weight gain, I run into people I know everywhere I go now. I had the most embarassing conversation at the gas station last weight with a classmate I hadn't seen in a while, but ironically was one of the few people I did see during my weight loss journey. She had this look of "what happened" on her face while we were talking. I'm so tired, my feet hurt, my knees ache while walking DOWN my stairs. I won't even go back upstairs after I come down for the rest of the day. I have absolutely NOTHING to wear. Everything is too small. I can't fit anything to go shopping for new clothes. I don't want to live like this. I can't. I'm tired of crying, it's time to sweat.Another reason I feel like I need this forum, is because I don't have any fat friends. None of them understand what I go through. I actually had one to tell me that I don't need Atkins because it's not what I eat but how much. I tested that theory, did not work for me.
I'm done whinning now. Any advice/encouragement you can give will be appreciated.
32/Female/5'3"
HW: 263
SW: 245
CW: 245
GW: 165
Mini Goal #!: 235
Mini Goal #2 225
Mini Goal #3 215
Mini Goal #4 205
Mini Goal #5 195
x20
~ 
that this is for LIFE and not a diet, only THEN will we be successful.
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