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Gosh, where to begin? Well, I guess the beginning is the best.
I have never been a thin child. Even in days when I was slightly chubby (we're talking beginning of elementary school) I always felt like I was a million times heavier than anyone else.
In my high school years I weighed in at 350 pounds.
But it was consistent- it never ballooned past that point and thankfully I held it pretty good.
Then I started graveyard shifts at the convenience store.
One thing about graveyard shifts is it messes with your brain. It messes with EVERYTHING. Your entire body gets thrown out of whack. Another thing was 'free soda' as a perk of the job. I drank a LOT of soda, and as it was my first job and I'd started making my own money I was finally able to buy all the stuff I wanted to.
I never learned when I was younger what a decent meal-plan was. I could cook, yeah, but it was always italian- lots of carbs, thick pasta, huge amounts of bread, etc. Then when you're tired all the time and can't cook for yourself, surrounded by candy bars...
I ballooned. I swelled up. I still am not sure how big I got but I was gigantic. I never weighed myself.
I didn't realize until I'd looked at myself in the mirror one day that I had metamorphosed into some kind of horrible monster. I hated myself- I hated what I had become- I hated looking at myself. I hated how everyone looked at me, and I hated that one side of my stomach had began drooping farther than the other like I was some sort of horrible beast.
I hated that I hadn't realized it had happened until it had.
My Dad whom I never got along with offered me an escape route- quit my job and stay with him, losing weight and healing. I took it as my only desperate chance.
But the road to weight loss, initially, was not the golden path he had spoken of. I'd heard about Atkins in High School- my Mom had gotten me the book and while I read it she ignored it. She was a high-carb Queen; summarily she developed diabetes later on in life which she complains about to this day.
But I digress. I wanted to do Atkins- I was not smart enough and sure enough of myself to dissuade him but I was stubborn enough to eat my way, and learn how to do it correctly.
I lived on stir-fry- bacon and cabbage, chicken and cabbage, beef and broccoli. There wasn't a lot of variety in my diet but I stuck to the plan, even occasionally cheating on two slices of pizza here and there towards the end of my four months.
I had finally gotten down to- get this- a weighable 309 pounds in a mere four months. I looked amazing. I looked stellar. My grotesque stomach had not gone away but I had gone down to a 2X T-shirt from a 6X and dropped from a size 60 pants to size 46 pants.
But it didn't last. I can't, honestly, remember why I quit Atkins. My rocky relationship with my Dad got worse and worse, heightened by tension because after seven years he still couldn't accept me for me, and eventually I moved back in with my Mom.
She being the High-Carb Queen. Of course I never got back on plan and, things being what they were, (college rolling around, working, and just in general having no drive and being scared of the one thing I craved the most- dating) I never got around to it.
So a lot of emotional problems. And just not enough time to do Induction. I tried to get back on the wagon, over and over again, but every time it seems like destiny intervened to knock me off. Whether it be my amazing first boyfriend (not him but the fact I got one) or someone's birthday or almost passing out at work because of low blood sugar on those first couple days.
Anyway, everything's lined up in order finally- I quit smoking (for the 3rd time) finally have a car so I can workout and still go to work without walking and pulling a muscle, and I just had a week's vacation. I started June 12, 2009 this time around and I am determined. I know things will be difficult- I know that it's a hassle and time-consuming until you get to the point where it's old-hat. But I'm excited. I'm finally able to take responsibility for myself and my health.
Starting Weight- ??? (400lbs?)
Current Weight- ??? (Lower but not measurable)
Goal Weight- 190 lbs.
Mini-Goal 1- 350 lbs.
Mini-Goal 2- 299 lbs.
Mini-Goal 3- 250 lbs.
Mini-Goal 4- 199 lbs.
Also, I'm excited that there's such a huge community here and that everyone's so helpful. It's good to be in a place where everyone's been there and done it before and it's good to know that if I have any questions you guys will know what I need to do.
I have never been a thin child. Even in days when I was slightly chubby (we're talking beginning of elementary school) I always felt like I was a million times heavier than anyone else.
In my high school years I weighed in at 350 pounds.
But it was consistent- it never ballooned past that point and thankfully I held it pretty good.
Then I started graveyard shifts at the convenience store.
One thing about graveyard shifts is it messes with your brain. It messes with EVERYTHING. Your entire body gets thrown out of whack. Another thing was 'free soda' as a perk of the job. I drank a LOT of soda, and as it was my first job and I'd started making my own money I was finally able to buy all the stuff I wanted to.
I never learned when I was younger what a decent meal-plan was. I could cook, yeah, but it was always italian- lots of carbs, thick pasta, huge amounts of bread, etc. Then when you're tired all the time and can't cook for yourself, surrounded by candy bars...
I ballooned. I swelled up. I still am not sure how big I got but I was gigantic. I never weighed myself.
I didn't realize until I'd looked at myself in the mirror one day that I had metamorphosed into some kind of horrible monster. I hated myself- I hated what I had become- I hated looking at myself. I hated how everyone looked at me, and I hated that one side of my stomach had began drooping farther than the other like I was some sort of horrible beast.
I hated that I hadn't realized it had happened until it had.
My Dad whom I never got along with offered me an escape route- quit my job and stay with him, losing weight and healing. I took it as my only desperate chance.
But the road to weight loss, initially, was not the golden path he had spoken of. I'd heard about Atkins in High School- my Mom had gotten me the book and while I read it she ignored it. She was a high-carb Queen; summarily she developed diabetes later on in life which she complains about to this day.
But I digress. I wanted to do Atkins- I was not smart enough and sure enough of myself to dissuade him but I was stubborn enough to eat my way, and learn how to do it correctly.
I lived on stir-fry- bacon and cabbage, chicken and cabbage, beef and broccoli. There wasn't a lot of variety in my diet but I stuck to the plan, even occasionally cheating on two slices of pizza here and there towards the end of my four months.
I had finally gotten down to- get this- a weighable 309 pounds in a mere four months. I looked amazing. I looked stellar. My grotesque stomach had not gone away but I had gone down to a 2X T-shirt from a 6X and dropped from a size 60 pants to size 46 pants.
But it didn't last. I can't, honestly, remember why I quit Atkins. My rocky relationship with my Dad got worse and worse, heightened by tension because after seven years he still couldn't accept me for me, and eventually I moved back in with my Mom.
She being the High-Carb Queen. Of course I never got back on plan and, things being what they were, (college rolling around, working, and just in general having no drive and being scared of the one thing I craved the most- dating) I never got around to it.
So a lot of emotional problems. And just not enough time to do Induction. I tried to get back on the wagon, over and over again, but every time it seems like destiny intervened to knock me off. Whether it be my amazing first boyfriend (not him but the fact I got one) or someone's birthday or almost passing out at work because of low blood sugar on those first couple days.
Anyway, everything's lined up in order finally- I quit smoking (for the 3rd time) finally have a car so I can workout and still go to work without walking and pulling a muscle, and I just had a week's vacation. I started June 12, 2009 this time around and I am determined. I know things will be difficult- I know that it's a hassle and time-consuming until you get to the point where it's old-hat. But I'm excited. I'm finally able to take responsibility for myself and my health.
Starting Weight- ??? (400lbs?)
Current Weight- ??? (Lower but not measurable)
Goal Weight- 190 lbs.
Mini-Goal 1- 350 lbs.
Mini-Goal 2- 299 lbs.
Mini-Goal 3- 250 lbs.
Mini-Goal 4- 199 lbs.
Also, I'm excited that there's such a huge community here and that everyone's so helpful. It's good to be in a place where everyone's been there and done it before and it's good to know that if I have any questions you guys will know what I need to do.
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