Im in Little Black Dress Training!

[barracuda_59]

Hello everyone, this is my first day here but I have been on the induction phase since last Tuesday.
I have always struggled with my weight yo yoing like many of us have done... but this time it's serious.
My fiance of 3 years walked out on me last Monday via text message, saying he needed to go away for a few days to clear his head... Long story short, I found out he was seeing my good friend, whom is married and still living with her husband, she is a repeat cheater on him and to make matters worse.. she has no job, nor does she have any interest in getting one.
I have been so distraught and humiliated that I made my mind up the best revenge is the Little Black Dress Revenge... so I am now officially in training!!
I have been doing it since Tuesday and have gone from 257.5 to 246.5. I started exercising today.

So, I stopped drinking pop cold turkey, stopped coffee and stopped carbs cold turkey. I have always been a carb junkie and a big coffee drinker.
I have been on a water only kick until couple days ago when I ready you can have 2 cups of coffee a day with sweetener. So I have started having 1 cup.

I have a lot of emotions flowing right now and none of them are making me feel good. Loneliness is such a bad place to be. Betrayal is the forst thing you can do to someone, espically when you lie to kids and make false promises. I know people go through this everyday, but not me.
He was my best friend, my soul mate and we were planning a life to grow old together and rock our grandbabies together...

Turns out the band he works for just got a recording deal with BMG and he was wanting a groupie, which my friend is, she doesnt miss any of their gigs. I know I'm not a bad person and none of his decisions are my fault. I just know how sad it is to try and go to a baseball game alone,, or out to dinner alone. He ran his mouth to all the family and friends saying he is happier with her than he ever was with me.... WOW.. thanks for that, just me would feel much better. Anyway, I guess I am saying, I am hurting, lonely, sad and very broken. So I have decided not to cry because it's over, but try and celebrate that the relationship happened. I loved him more openly and completely. But I guess it wasn't meant to be.

So, my "revenge" is to get this weight off and get H O T .
Wish me luck! lol
Glad to be here and Im looking forward to reading about everyone.

[kaylasgram]

Re: Im in Little Black Dress Training!

Barracuda 59 ~ Hello & Welcome To Atkins & The ADBB Forum!!!


Congrats on your AWESOME loss since Tuesday 257.7 to 246.5 is AMAZING & Keep Up The SUPER Work!!!


I have been in your shoes however was married with 2 young Son's & let it go on behind my back for quite some time because of that fact. So Iam sending ((( BIGG HUGGS))) out your way!!!

Iam now the proud Gramy of a 4y/o Grandgirl & ya know my Exhubby is still a cheater with 2 Women in his life at present day!!! It's a shame because the one I really like & the other is the same one he was cheating on with me coming back around to break~up his relationship again!!! But he lets her & I gave him my thoughts on the matter, now he's not speaking to me. I just want to slap some sence in to him but it probally won't do any good so I just go my way to loose some more weight!!!

If ya ever need to chat Iam usually on the board most of the time as I work from home & keep the Forum up on my Laptop all the time!!!

You just keep on keeping on & when you look hotter than hot,in that lil Black Dress, just smile at him & keep on walking Girl that will be the best felling you will ever have in the world!!!

We have have alot going on around here 24/7 it may be sharing our stories or giving & reciving information & we have a lot of fun in the process!!!

Below I have listed a Link for you with a lot of good information that I have found very helpful & I put it together all in one place to you get started along your way on your Atkins journey!!!

http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.com/forums/atkins-diet-14-day-induction/77935-some-helpful-hints-those-new-atkins-revised.html

Please feel free to join~in with us any time & post away with questions, comments, your stories or anything at all & most important keep us posted of your progress!!!

~Cindi~

[imagood1]

Re: Im in Little Black Dress Training!

Welcome -- follow the book and you'll have success. Good luck to you.

[DuchessOfDork]

Re: Im in Little Black Dress Training!

Oh DUDE, I totally feel you! The whole reason I went on Atkins the first time was because my idiot ex-fiance told me I'd look better if I lost weight. So I did.. then I DUMPED him! You can do it, man! Getting hot and having high self esteem is the best revenge, because you'll only be helping yourself!

[IrishIrish]

Re: Im in Little Black Dress Training!

I am reminded of something I saw once.

No boy is worth crying over and the one that is, won't make you cry.

Give yourself a few days of Atkins by Little Black Dress Revenge, but remind yourself with every step that you are doing this for yourself and you don't need cheaters in your life. Then do Atkins for yourself and report in often to let us know how you are doing as the layers peel off.

Best wishes to you.

[neutronnorman]

Re: Im in Little Black Dress Training!

I am reminded of something I saw once.

No boy is worth crying over and the one that is, won't make you cry.

Give yourself a few days of Atkins by Little Black Dress Revenge, but remind yourself with every step that you are doing this for yourself and you don't need cheaters in your life. Then do Atkins for yourself and report in often to let us know how you are doing as the layers peel off.

Best wishes to you.

Hi and welcome to the board. IrishIrish is totally correct. You have to do this for yourself and not out of revenge. I know you are in pain, and I've been their. I know you still love him, feel betrayed and miss his companionship.

I was a working musician many moons ago so I know about the groupie thing. I never took them seriously.

Consider 2 points. First, if he was your soul mate would he have betrayed you and hurt you so brutally? Would he have text messaged you? I mean, what type of a guy would break up with his girlfriend, who loves him, by a text message? Common' we all deserve better treatment regardless of gender.
The second point is that your friend is married. He's going to cause quite a bit of damage on her side of the 'gig.' Is he responsible enough to understand the damage he's going to help cause in her family life? And what guy in his right mind would date a married woman? I mean, from my point of view as a guy, how could I trust a woman whom I'm having an intimate relationship with if she's cheating on her husband? How could I trust her down the line? Would she do it, in the long run, to me? How about Karma, or if you have Judeo-Christian leanings, adultery?
You've dropped a huge amount of weight and you will reach, if not surpass, your goal in time with a bit of discipline.
What I'm trying to say is that if you diet and shape up trying to do some form of revenge, you are bound to fail with that motive. It will get old very quickly especially if he doesn't respond to your physical transformation.

I'm a guy and I'm going to share something with you and all that read this board. Back in 1995, I was dating a very beautiful woman who happened to be very over weight. I had a hard time dealing with her weight so I broke up with her. Not so much because she was heavy but because she really did not want to do anything about it. I was very active and she did not like to do anything that remotely resembled exercise. She was developing health issues at 24, and at the time I thought her behavior was self destructive.
She eventually, get this, had gastric by-pass surgery. She came by my office about two years after and showed off her new physique. She was stunning but I could see right through her motives. At the time she was recently married and I knew she had the attitude: "Well, look what you are missing." I did not work. It was too transparent. In retrospect, I was much younger and a bit of an *** hole. I should have persevered longer than I did, but I guess I was not really in love with her.

I know I'm way out of line and there's nothing I can do about the pain. Many people will tell you that time heals all wounds. that. You are emotionally injured now and want relief. I'll be honest, it is going to take time. It will take months if not years until the pain deadens. You will never be the same. You will be changed. It is part of a learning process. If he comes back to you, you will feel uncomfortable and so will he. You've lost trust, which is a very potent glue in all relationships. You will feel anger that will manifest itself in subtle ways.

I just hope you do this for the most important person in your life, you! You must love yourself before you can really love somebody else. Stick with this diet, stay on the board, and the little black dress, in high heels and all (yikes! that looks hot...why are women so beautiful regardless of age...) will not be revenge, but a manifestation of a mutlifaceted you. Do the black dress thing for yourself.

[chinadoll]

Re: Im in Little Black Dress Training!

Hi LBDT, I find that anger can be one of my strongest motivators so that that energy and put it into workouts (boxing might be a good one now--you can pretend you are punching you ex) and in getting thin. Why not turn that energy into something positive! Best of luck and hope you are soon in a sunnier place!

[bamagirl]

Re: Im in Little Black Dress Training!

You GO girl! Show him what he COULD have had!!!!!!!

[hopejoy]

Re: Im in Little Black Dress Training!

You are doing the right thing to take care of yourself right now by exercising and eating right. It would be easy to turn to food for comfort and that would only make things worse! I'm so proud of you for making the decision to take your life back. Right now it's about revenge but in time, you'll see and feel so many benefits I hope that you keep at it for your own sake.

I have to say any man that would cheat on you with a married woman is no catch at all so you ARE better off having learned what his charactor is really like and you are better off without him. He sounds like a discusting human being to treat you so calously and meanly. You need to realize that you deserve SO much more than that. This is a great place to start... it will help you to value yourself more and not be willing to settle for anything less than the best in your life.

big hugs. hang in there. You're doing awesome!
liz

[cafe_et_creme]

Re: Im in Little Black Dress Training!

Hello

I so know how you are feeling right now, a similar thing happened to me last xmas. The guy who i was living with and had a son with, had been seeing another girl for the last 6 years and had another son with her the same time i had ours. She lived next door to his father, so half his family new his secret, he was living a double life, and neither of us knew of the other.

You wont see it yet but in time you will see you had a lucky escape when you meet your true soul mate , who will treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve. So stick with us girl, we will help you get into that little black dress! Imagine how good you are going to feel when you reach goal!!
Hold your head up high, and Good Luck! xx

[sarbirus]

Re: Im in Little Black Dress Training!

I know everyone is different.. But I am with china doll.. Anger and revenge can be an excellent motivator.. that negative energy and emotion needs to go somewhere and if you can focus it at improving yourself to get at him, then thats better than turning to a tub of ben&jerry's or other comfort foods.

Having looked in amazement at the before and after section of this site, I am in no doubt your going to reach your goals and turn super hot looking in a tiny black dress.

Also I expect as the pounds come off you will get more admiring looks from guys which as well as opening doors to new relationships, will also do wonders for your self image and confidence.

GO GIRL!! Dont be put off, show the world and show us your before and afters during your journey.

[Mick2360]

Re: Im in Little Black Dress Training!

I am sorry for your distress and for the nasty life lesson you have just experienced. I'm going to say one thing; there will come a time when you will meet a man who will love you with all of his heart, admire your strengths and accept your failings. You will walk through the ups and downs of life together, encountering sweetness and enduring trials until one of you steps onto the stairway to Heaven. This is all ahead of you. So cry your tears, you have earned them but only for a set time each day. Then step up and meet this challenge. There is no way to evade the emotional pain of what you are going through. It is as necessary as birth pangs for you to become the woman you are meant to be.

One other thing. I have worked with a lot of couples where infidelity is an issue. It is almost never a lack of fulfillment in the relationship, as the 'cheater' rarely has the emotional maturity to fully commit. There is almost always something missing in them that makes it impossible for them to gain enough love and attention.

You are hurting today but you have found strength to get up, come here and look for help. You will find it. And please remember, the love of your life is still in your future. And my guess is that he will see beyond the 'little black dress' and love you for the precious and unique woman that you are. Go get that life!

[ErinB]

Re: Im in Little Black Dress Training!

You have received so much of the advice I would have offered already, so I'll try not to repeat. I do believe taking positive action to move on with your life, take control of it, is the best way to get past the pain. Good for you!

Your words have revealed so much about you as a genuine, caring, considerate and very special human being. Don't let that special you get lost in all this. Forgive his inadequacy and take all of who you are forward as you work toward fitting into that little black dress.

I have been so distraught and humiliated ...

There is no cause for shame on your part. You were the faithful one. This breakup didn't happen because of inadequacy in you, but, like Mick said, because of his emotional immaturity. As IrishIrish said, he is not worth the tears. As for the grief ... I think you may come to realize you actually loved who you thought he was, not who he is in actuality. When you come to terms with that you may be able to trade that sense of loss with a feeling of relief you are now wiser and no longer entangled in such an unequal yoke.

As for the loneliness of going out anywhere by yourself, I understand it, particularly when you are accustomed to always having someone with you. I hope you'll do it, anyway. I want to applaud when I see women who have the confidence/independence to get out there and do what they like/want to do whether there is a friend available or not. In social situations it probably will make you seem more approachable as well if you don't always huddle in a group of girlfriends.

If you are involved in a church, join a singles group for people in your age group. They tend to have group activities where one can be with others but not feel the pressures dating tends to present. If not interested in that, there are other social groups for singles which may provide the same benefits.

So, my "revenge" is to get this weight off and get H O T .
Wish me luck! lol
Glad to be here and Im looking forward to reading about everyone.

I believe in you. Go for the dress, barracuda! Joining the others in cheering you on.

[JohnSantos]

Re: Im in Little Black Dress Training!

Anger and revenge can be an excellent motivator..

Worked for me:

http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.com/forums/atkins-low-carb-success-stories/76675-98-lbs-90-days-my-teenage-atkins-success-story.html