You know that horrible feeling....

[jezzagirl19]

Hi my names Michelle, Im back after trying Atkins a few times in 2008 but derailing fairly soon.

This is my 7th day on induction. Im doing great, peeing dark purple on the ketostix and feeling good! I have been focused and in the zone, then that horrible feeling starts to rear its ugly head...

Doubt.

Im turning 30 in february and have always been the 'chubby' girl. You will not find a picture of me from 6 months old where I am not big. Weighing in at 86.5 kilos, (highest ever being 94.5kgs, Im aussie, unsure on pounds:Phehe) Ive kind of always kept a rein on things. I gain weight within 10 kilos, then lose it. It has been my cycle for too many years to remember, without thinking about the constant diets and other unhealthy ways of losing weight! ( My doctor tells me I have a tight sphincter in my throat, which is why I cant throw up but I really do see it as a positive, hehe.)
Binge eating is my downfall and there are so many mental and emotional issues behind it but day by day Im working through it. Im feeling positive and hopeful but that damn doubt keeps butting in!

2am in the morning, Im proud Ive kept on induction, its the easiest and best way of eating Ive ever tried but that little voice inside my head still pipes up and says ' I will never do it...' Looking at the before and after pics I feel so much excitement and HOPE but then I hear it again 'That wont be you...'

How do I get Doubt to shut up? Above all I just feel so sad, although I know its happening and my bodies changing but something inside doesnt quite Believe I can change after a lifetime of fat. I desperately want to change... I want to meet the smaller, curvy, cute girl in side and hug her, crying, saying I always knew she was in there, but Im so afraid we will never meet.

Im usually I lurker but I decided to write a thread and say hi, so Im accountable, and also so I can receive the lovely support Ive seen everyone get on this site.

Im sorry Ive rambled on a bit but I feel better all ready! If anyone has any tips or tools to help me kick doubts butt I will be so greatful to hear from you!

Thanks for your time,

Chelle

P.S I want to know how to add all the good pics, tickers etc! lol. I will be patient though, I had no idea how to post a thread last night and now here I am! lol:P:P

[Desertthorn]

Re: You know that horrible feeling....

Just tell "doubt' to shut the heck up. It happens to me all the time. but I understand where your at. Its even worse when your family isn't supportive cause you can't shut them up

[jezzagirl19]

Re: You know that horrible feeling....

Thanks for that Desertthorn, lol

My family is a bunch of mixed nuts and the tasty (good nuts) have heard it 1 million times from the fat girl in the family, lol.

P.s, does anyone know how to remove tickers? I have my old one on here but have no idea what my login name and password was so cant access it. Ive made a new one but would like to delete the old one from my profile, any ideas?

Thanks

[Georgiana]

Re: You know that horrible feeling....

Welcome, Michelle!

I want to know how to add all the good pics, tickers etc!

This might help: http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.c...te-ticker.html

does anyone know how to remove tickers?

All you need to do is edit your signature. You can do this from User CP.

[Kntrylady]

Re: You know that horrible feeling....

Hi Chelle and Welcome...

I hope you're not surprise that we are all visited by those "doubts". Remember all those movies with the little devil sitting on someones shoulder whispering in their ear There ya go...

I've been taking it as a one day at a time, one meal at a time approach. If I get tempted, I've been saying to myself, maybe tomorrow I'll have that snack. But you know what? Tomorrow I say the same thing. I consider my problem with high carb foods and sugar as the same as an alcoholic or drug addict. I Can Not have just one bite.

Visit the success stories, read some of the journals of folks that have succeeded. You too can do this....

[d33na]

Re: You know that horrible feeling....

Welcome to a fellow Aussie! Im in Perth Chelle

I have this thing I do every morning...each day is NEW....anything I did the day before is forgiven....*laughing* by ME....so there is no left over guilt...each morning its a clean slate...I wake up positive...pretend its that Groundhog Day movie...and do it...I stopped analysing (unless there is a problem) and just DO IT...disengage the brain and just DO...

If there is a stall or a trigger sure I stop and look at it...but I dont want to be obsessed by analysis...I weigh myself about once a month at the GPs...so no obssessing aboput weight flucuations...

Excercise came slowly for me...I was way too fat at first...now I easily walk 6km a day in 2 lots....early am and early evening its to damn hot in Perth to do much else...

Good luck and keep talking...

Oh Ive lost 50 kilos in the last 12 months...it can be done...you just have to stick to it and stay focused and organised...doubt is not ur friend! *laughing*

[Shrew2u]

Re: You know that horrible feeling....

Hello and welcome, Chelle!

You know, that voice of Doubt isn't really *your* voice. Human beings do not begin life with any sense of doubt - that is planted by others as we grow. So that voice? That voice is of one or more people who gave you the impression that you should doubt yourself. That doesn't have to be a consciously harmful pattern, either; it could have been someone who meant well, but projected their own insecurities and doubt onto you.

Whomever that person or those people are, call them up right now (even if only in your mind). Tell them that you're on to their little game, so they need to STFU and GTFO of your head. Evict those mental squatters and leave nothing but your own, true voice in there. Otherwise, it will be too easy to blame Doubt if you happen to make a food choice (or five) that are off plan, too easy to slip up and go completely off plan and rationalize that it's Doubt's fault. Leave no Doubt in your mind. Stay accountable and true to yourself.

[imagood1]

Re: You know that horrible feeling....

If I didn't have doubt I wouldn't think I was alive! I am learning to listen to it but learn from it -- I make sure I get the better of it by not giving in when it wants me to.

HHow much pure water are you drinking? If you are showing dark purple on the keotsis sticks you may be dehydrated. You should be drinking a minimum of 64 ounces of pure water daily -- more is better.

Good luck to you - just remember, you can do this - the more days you can get through the less you should have the doubt! Start a journal, you may be surprised the number of people who are dealing with the same things you are on a daily basis -- and it's a great way to meet people here. http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.c...journal-chats/

Good luck to you

[jezzagirl19]

Re: You know that horrible feeling....

Hi,
Thankyou everyone for such motivating replies! Im feeling really positive and so much better thanks to you guys!
Im actually drinking more water than I ever have in my life! Ive also been one of those people who can only move their bowels once a week, with the help of alcohol, lol, once a fortinight if I dont drink and believe me, its painful! The past week I have gone almost daily!! I thought it was meant to be the opposite on atkins? hehe.

Today was day 7 of induction so I weighed in and have lost 5 kgs (roughly 10 pounds!) is that possible? I can feel my hip bones starting to come out, AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! ( thats me excited!!! lol) :P:P:P

[d33na]

Re: You know that horrible feeling....

thats awesome...*hugs*

[sham]

Re: You know that horrible feeling....

Hi Jezzagirl and welcome.Other members have given you great advice already I would like to add that you should always be positive and think positive because thinking positive will help you succeed.Dont think negative.

[tweedledee]

Re: You know that horrible feeling....

boy do i know that feelin. especially wen i get munchies n the evening. i'm ready to serve dubt with a restraining order.