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Hi all!! I have been reading the posts here for a couple of weeks and finally decided to join. I think this will be amazing inspiration and motivation for me.
I have pretty much been over weight most of my life. I have been a yo-yo, going up and down, but mostly up. My most recent success in weight loss began March 2008. I had topped the scales at 222 lbs. That was my heaviest weight ever, at that time. I decided I was no longer going to live my life being fat. I began Weight Watchers and dropped an incredible amount of weight (for me)... 12 lbs in the first 2 weeks!! I was hooked... meetings, points... I went from addicted to food to addicted to WW. I dropped 40lbs and was FINALLY starting to feel great about myself. 5 mths after I started WW I got pregnant with my son, AJ. I couldn't have been happier. My husband and I had tried for 3 years to conceive. I didn't gain any weight the first three months, sticking to my diet like white on rice. Then, peer pressure set in... "Go ahead!! Indulge yourself!! It's your right as a pregnant woman!!". I ended up gaining almost 70 lbs in 6 mths!!! I was disgusted and disappointed but No one seemed concerned, not even my OB. They blew it off and said I shouldn't have a problem getting the weight off post pregnancy.. HA!!
I went into the hospital on May 20, 2009 weighing 247 lbs. I couldn't believe my eyes. I had retained a good bit of fluid during my pregnancy though and had somehow convinced myself this was the reason for my weight (It couldn't possibly have been the pints of ice cream, the daily splurges to fast food restaurants, etc). Within 2 weeks of having AJ I had only gotten down to 230. My baby was almost 9 lbs and I had no more swelling. It hit me... I was fat... AGAIN!!! Along with baby blues came some depression about my weight. I probably was borderline PPD but wouldn't admit it and probably would have had a much smoother transition into mommy hood had I said something. Anyway, the weight stayed on. I decided to start WW again, and over the next 8 mths lost, only, 11 lbs (
). My weight stayed between 219-220. That's when it hit me that I had to try something else.
I have been a carb junkie most of my life. That's why, initially, I chose WW. I could still eat whatever I wanted I just had to watch portions and points. Being a mommy (and quitting smoking when I found out I was pregnant) brought on a whole new kind of anxiety. So even though I was on WW, I still used carbs as my comfort food. I would find myself sneaking a few spoon fulls of pasta on a particularly rough day, or stuffing my face with a chocolate sundae. I loved it all... rice, pasta, bread, ice cream, cookies, cake... and in mass quantities (telling myself only a few bites couldn't possibly add up to enough to write down). That's what was ALWAYS there for me, no matter how hard things were. What started as my friend, my comfort, has become my poison. When I was a little girl, and when no one was there for me... food was always there, however much I needed. I ate until my stomach hurt. It (especially carbs) had become my drug of choice.
So, anyway, now with my son, I want to live a better life. I'm letting go of the past and starting to live in the "now". I'm not living for bad incidents anymore. They have helped mold me into who I am today. They hurt, they left wounds, but wounds heal. I need to let go for me and my son. I'm living for us now.
Today is day 14 of induction for me. As of Friday (11 days in) I had lost 6 lbs (which surprised me by the other posts I have read. I expected to lose more). I'm going to stick with it, realizing that there will be ups and downs but if I stick with it, I know this will work for me.
I have pretty much been over weight most of my life. I have been a yo-yo, going up and down, but mostly up. My most recent success in weight loss began March 2008. I had topped the scales at 222 lbs. That was my heaviest weight ever, at that time. I decided I was no longer going to live my life being fat. I began Weight Watchers and dropped an incredible amount of weight (for me)... 12 lbs in the first 2 weeks!! I was hooked... meetings, points... I went from addicted to food to addicted to WW. I dropped 40lbs and was FINALLY starting to feel great about myself. 5 mths after I started WW I got pregnant with my son, AJ. I couldn't have been happier. My husband and I had tried for 3 years to conceive. I didn't gain any weight the first three months, sticking to my diet like white on rice. Then, peer pressure set in... "Go ahead!! Indulge yourself!! It's your right as a pregnant woman!!". I ended up gaining almost 70 lbs in 6 mths!!! I was disgusted and disappointed but No one seemed concerned, not even my OB. They blew it off and said I shouldn't have a problem getting the weight off post pregnancy.. HA!!
I went into the hospital on May 20, 2009 weighing 247 lbs. I couldn't believe my eyes. I had retained a good bit of fluid during my pregnancy though and had somehow convinced myself this was the reason for my weight (It couldn't possibly have been the pints of ice cream, the daily splurges to fast food restaurants, etc). Within 2 weeks of having AJ I had only gotten down to 230. My baby was almost 9 lbs and I had no more swelling. It hit me... I was fat... AGAIN!!! Along with baby blues came some depression about my weight. I probably was borderline PPD but wouldn't admit it and probably would have had a much smoother transition into mommy hood had I said something. Anyway, the weight stayed on. I decided to start WW again, and over the next 8 mths lost, only, 11 lbs (
). My weight stayed between 219-220. That's when it hit me that I had to try something else.I have been a carb junkie most of my life. That's why, initially, I chose WW. I could still eat whatever I wanted I just had to watch portions and points. Being a mommy (and quitting smoking when I found out I was pregnant) brought on a whole new kind of anxiety. So even though I was on WW, I still used carbs as my comfort food. I would find myself sneaking a few spoon fulls of pasta on a particularly rough day, or stuffing my face with a chocolate sundae. I loved it all... rice, pasta, bread, ice cream, cookies, cake... and in mass quantities (telling myself only a few bites couldn't possibly add up to enough to write down). That's what was ALWAYS there for me, no matter how hard things were. What started as my friend, my comfort, has become my poison. When I was a little girl, and when no one was there for me... food was always there, however much I needed. I ate until my stomach hurt. It (especially carbs) had become my drug of choice.
So, anyway, now with my son, I want to live a better life. I'm letting go of the past and starting to live in the "now". I'm not living for bad incidents anymore. They have helped mold me into who I am today. They hurt, they left wounds, but wounds heal. I need to let go for me and my son. I'm living for us now.
Today is day 14 of induction for me. As of Friday (11 days in) I had lost 6 lbs (which surprised me by the other posts I have read. I expected to lose more). I'm going to stick with it, realizing that there will be ups and downs but if I stick with it, I know this will work for me.
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