Tweet
which is 5 carbs. i picked up extra graves so my schedule will be off a bit.
i find if i just write it ill be ok.
when i get home from work i will just go to bed.
when i wake up i will go work out. i will have a spinach salad for dinner. hopefully its still good.
and i will eat my brocolli again for dinner. i have no carbs in the house right now. except oat meal so i hope i dont get desperate.
right now i wanted fried food. instead of going out i will not.
i just simply wont. DONT DO IT SARAH!!!
i feel very alone right now. i feel so so so alone. i hate it. i miss my ex. i have dreams about him. but he was horrible to me. abusive. god i miss the old times.
im going to travel.
i have to start running so i can get in shape for the half marathon in june. i need to keep pictures to remind me to continue even though i am depressed. i am totally not over being an emotional eater. i hate that about myself. i love the fact that i recognize it. i also love the fact that i've come so far in this and i know i need to continue. i love the fact that even though i haven't lost anything but gained, i've gained knowledge.
i know i have the dedication to do this and the discipline to continue. i just had to find myself again. and i have to live my life the way i had it. just without him. its going to be a very long two weeks that much is very very clear. i am going to be craving carbs like no ones business!!! i am going to want to eat out like no ones business. im going to want to binge eat off everything!!!
im going to be in a world of hurt if i dont do this. i need to.
i need to remember why it is that i first decided to lose weight.
that is, to be happy and healthy. not for any one else and not for anything less or more. i need to stand my ground for what i believe in and that is i chose to lose weight because i want to be a healthy looking healthy being. i want to see what my potentials are.
i love losing my weight.
im up a bit. 197 today.
lets do this. lets F*&^%% rock on!!