Weigh in and measurements were due yesterday. Last night, I reluctantly got on the scale and measured.

In a nutshell... I've gained 5lbs and have magically grown anywhere from 1/2 to an entire inch in all of my measured areas. Including my stupid neck.

A wave of despair and depression hit afterwards and I laid in the bed trying not to cry. I thought about throwing in the towel. Deciding I am just destined to be heavy the rest of my days. I am so frustrated and disappointed that I may take the spork to myself.

Upon waking this morning, the scale was the same but my attitiude was a smidge better. I thought about TOM and how I hate his guts. I thought about my stupid energy drinks. Although I've cut back, they still linger. I thought about how I haven't exercised and why I haven't. I'm tired. End of story. I haven't hit that energy rush everyone speaks of and I am jealous. Maybe it's my smoking that keeps me from getting that energized bunny feeling? Ugh... Maybe I can switch up and switch between the treadmill and my stationary pos bike. Just the thought of it tires me out. Is my depression worse than I realize? I want to go back to the dr. and have a more thorough thyroid panel run. I still think it's broken. I'm just thoroughly disgusted at this point.

So... I try again today. Sucked down a bottle of water already. Still going to finish the water challenge no matter how fat I continue to get. Damnnit.

Probably hormones, I think. At least I think that to make myself feel better. I have a wedding to go to on the 24th and I wanted to be 20lbs gone by then. A despised cousin will be there and I was hoping for better. Looks like I'm not gonna be where I wanted. Curses.

So.... pity party is over for now. I really wish I hadn't done the measure /weigh thing. I started to just keep my face shut but decided we're all honest here so no matter what the disappointment is, just share it. GAWDDDDDDDDD!!!

So... to quote Scarlett O'Hara... "After all.... tomorrow is another day".