You know what, no matter how hard I have tried over the last 6 months, I have just gained, and gained, and gained. And then gained some more. Last week, I weighed in at a heartbreaking 179 lbs. I was only 170 lbs when I first decided to do Atkins in 2005!

Devastated, I went to my Dr. He's never been much of a help to be honest, but I just sat in his office and cried my eyes out to him. I go to him every 3-4 months, and everytime I have gone there for the last year or so, I have told him that I keep gaining weight despite sticking to this WOL. He just keeps telling me that I need to "eat better and go to the gym" (Maybe you can see why I dont like him)

This time I pleaded with him to re-evaluate my depression meds, because since my last visit to see him, I've not only gained 20 lbs, but I've developed a terrible temper. I've become violant towards my other half, and it scares me.

After a good 10 minutes, he agrees to change my meds, and switches me from Celexa/Citalopram to Reboxetine, saying that it should help with my "weight issues".

That was Thursday, and here I am on Monday, 6 lbs lighter! With no change to my diet at all.

As a kickstart, I'm back on induction because I am so desperate to lose a little bit extra for my cruise in 7 weeks. All the clothes I bought in the summer for my cruise are way too small now, so if I can lose 20 lbs, or somewhere in that region, I'll be semi-satisfied.

I'm just annoyed beyond belief that all my previous requests for a medication change have fallen on deaf ears with him. Now I fear it's too late for me to lose the weight I will feel comfortable with wearing a bikini for all of my $1000 cruise, and I'm heartbroken. All I can do is try, I know, and I know that weight isnt everything. But I'm sure as **** going to be miserable if I'm stuck covered up on this very expensive vacation.

I have to stay on these boards for motivation. I've realised how easy it is to fall off the wagon when you're surrounded by people who think they know of much better ways for you to diet, and influence you to do something you don't want to do, something that doesn't work for you. And I should know.

So here I am, 173lbs, and hoping to be in the 140's by january. I need God's help on this one, I think!

And one huge bottle of water *crosses fingers*