50 lbs ago I was blogging on a daily basis, exercising at least four times a week, and had my eye on the prize: Onederland.

A week ago Saturday I stepped on the scale at my son's house and about fainted from the numbers that screamed 268.9 in bright LED lights. My denial pierced, the big picture began to come to light... huffing and puffing up the stairs turned to taking the elevator alongside the other obese staff members... tight tighter tightest jeans had been upgraded to another size up then yet another size up... a slightly uncomfortable airplane seat suddenly shrank to nearly unbearable seating... my foul moods turned most foul and I was drowning in a sea of self-pity and solitude.

I think my last binge was Tuesday September 22. I don't recall the menus... I called it the see-food diet. I see food. I eat it. I had been praying for relief for so long. Suddenly I found myself in the middle of prayers on the way to work, stopped for breakfast at McDonald's, heard myself ordering eggs with cheese and sausage. A trip to the grocery store and I stocked up on spinach, broccoli, and lo-carb caesar. The remainder of the week passed without incident.

Tonight I purchased a scale. I weighed 260. More importantly I can already feel my wedding ring no longer cuts into my finger. My jeans fit again, the largest size I own, but fit nevertheless. The seams no longer left angry red lines down my legs. My socks no longer cut off circulation to my ankles. I could see a tremendous difference in my face, much reduced bloating. I no longer feel like I'm going to pass out from the carb rush following lunch and breakfast. I have every reason to stay on this WOL, every reason to stay the course.

Now to add exercise to the mix. But for the grace of God... I pray for His strength each day. I know it could never be His will for me to continue in the direction I was going. I am awash with gratitude.