Too ashamed to title my addiction...

[jsj0305]

****Deleted****

[dreamof145]

Re: Too ashamed to title my addiction...

Congratulations on coming clean. I wish you lots of hugs and prayers. But, there is one thing I am concerned with...

I come from a family of addictions and whether you realize it or not, you do need help. Substance abuse is a very powerful addiction and although you may feel strong today to overcome anything that comes your way...tomorrow might be another story.

I have family members who have stayed clean for months and then for no reason, they return to the habits. I believe it would help you lots if you got some help so that you will better be able to avoid the temptations that arise when you are feeling weak and vulnerable.

[Bugaboo]

Re: Too ashamed to title my addiction...

That was a very powerful and moving post. I'm deeply impressed. We would never ever judge you...not here. We just want you to be a healthier happier you.

[cleochatra]

Re: Too ashamed to title my addiction...

{{{jsj}}} No judgements. Only love!

[Stemp]

Re: Too ashamed to title my addiction...

Also from a long line of abuse. All my love for I too have felt the feelings.

[Brook]

Re: Too ashamed to title my addiction...

(((((jsj)))))

[jsj0305]

Re: Too ashamed to title my addiction...

Thanks so much for not judging me. I truly love you guys for that.

dreamof145..I will definately look into it. You are right. Maybe a little outside help could help keep me on the straight and narrow.

Brook..thanks for reading, but what does (((jsj))) mean?

[Laurenfra]

Re: Too ashamed to title my addiction...

Sorry I am the judging type. I judge you to be a great mom and caring wife. I am so glad you chose to share this post with us. I wish you all the best in the word.

I would suggest you take dreams' advice. Getting some support will keep you on the right track.
We're always here for you

[Brook]

Re: Too ashamed to title my addiction...

(((( )))) Is a big, 'ol cyber hug, jsj. I can't help it. In spite of what lots of people think of me....I'm the huggy type. LOL

I'm with Lauren on this. We *are* judging you - but not the way you were afraid we would. I absolutely see you in a similar light as Lauren. Cowards hide, jsj. It takes a special kind of strength and character to admit that we're human, we have faults and issues, and own them. You possess that kind of strength and character and I admire you for it.

Do not be afraid to ask for and get support from people who share your trials and tribulations. They are often the ones who can truly understand your battle and your struggles specifically because they share them, and that gives them special insight too. Don't discount it. Know that it's there if/when you need it, and if/when you do, be as brave and forthright as you were in sharing who you are with us.

You're gonna knock this one out of the park, lady. I have faith in you.
You've already started.

((((((jsj)))))

~Brook

[wannabethintoo]

Re: Too ashamed to title my addiction...

We're all about support here...not judging.

[jsj0305]

Re: Too ashamed to title my addiction...

Thank you so much Brook. I love the hug!! I'm so glad that now I know what it means!! I have never cried when I read a post, but yours was my starting point. Thank you for seeing that I am human and thank you for allowing me to see something in myself that I've never seen before. I am so glad that I decided to share. Lauren, I have to tell you my heart sank when I first read you were the judging kind. But then I was uplifted when you said I was a great mom and a caring wife. Believe it or not, NO ONE EVER has said I am a good mom. I cannot begin to explain how much that means to me...you guys are making me cry!! Okay, too blurry to keep typing. Just know that I love you all from the bottom of my heart. You all have given me more advice and love than I have ever gotten from my parents COMBINED. You are all truly great people.

[Finelly]

Re: Too ashamed to title my addiction...

It takes a lot of strength to stop a hideous habit like that. It takes even more strength to post about it. You are a very strong person, stronger than you think you are.

The more we take emotional risks by talking and being open about what we find shameful about ourselves, the more we find that we are accepted for who we are and begin to heal. So a big hug to you!

[Laurenfra]

Re: Too ashamed to title my addiction...

You are a good parent, you look at the needs of your son. Please keep posting we want to be here for you. PM me any time to chat

[Labarum]

Re: Too ashamed to title my addiction...

So it's a new start, and a real sense of purpose. Good for you!

[Yoly1001]

Re: Too ashamed to title my addiction...

Jsj, I agree with Dream, I too had a lot of abuse in my life. Beatings and raped, and I am in recovery. I would totally recommend you to go get some help, it really has turned my life around. There are groups all over the world and sometimes it just helps to go and hear other people talking about the things that you are feeling. I think it would help you a lot, it has me.

I agree with Brook and Lauren, you are a wonderful mommy. You looked at what you were doing in your life and have made a decision to stop for the betterment of your son and your husband, not to mention you. You are an increadibly strong person and even though it is going to be a long and hard journey to true recovery I would strongly encourage you to start it, today. When you reach recovery you'll be so glad you did.

NA.org

Here is a website that will provide you with a lot of information about recovery, including meetings in your area. Good luck with your journey, if you would ever like to talk with another person in recovery you can PM me anytime, I would love to help. I also have a little girl, she's almost 3, and she was the turning point in my life too. Congrats on taking the right steps to recovery.