hiding binges

[sillyann]

I see myself in some of these posts, and then in some I do not. I've hid how much food I actually ate, but never planned binges, but then started and not been able to stop. When I think of how I used to eat, it was like a gigantic all day all year continuous binge. I used to teach my students a rhyme.."Galletitas son mis favoritas, son porque soy gordita." Cookies are my favorite, its why I am fat." Really nice days at work were when people would bring in cookies to the teacher's lounge. I could munch all day and no one would notice. With Atkins I have more control, but I did gain 5 lbs (finally off) because I ate too much Atkins friendly food during Christmas. And I have said things in defense of "one taste is ok attitude," but when I am REALLY working my atkins, I don't even think about one taste of anything. And now I am always trying to squeeze in a workout instead of a treat because I had a bad day, or a good day, or whatever... It amazes me how long chocolate chip cookies stay in the house when I am not eating them, and... we STILL have Christmas cookies around.
So now, after 6 months on induction, I am on OWL. I will be able to have ice cream for my birthday in February, and I am excited but a little nervous to have a box in my house. I think I can manage one a day, but will I be able to spread the box out over a couple of weeks? And even though I do not touch... I still know where every sweet thing is in my house. No matter what though, I still love that feeling when the scale goes down. It's like a miracle no matter how much I have worked out, or planned the carbs, or drank the water, all those right things, to see the scale go down.
Thanks for the post pammie, and all of you others.

[FatNoLonger]

Oh Gosh,
This is so close to home. I used to binge to the point that I made myself sick to my stomach. I was so good at hiding it that no one ever found out.
I used to take my kids to school and afterwards go to Starbucks get a Large latte and than take a trip to McDonalds and have a breakfast meal than come home and act like I was starving and eat again. I also used to buy two value meals and make a comment like "my husband and his buddy are back at home and they are dying for some whoppers' and again come home and eat.

But I realized that alot of my eating "Bingeing" was emotional. I am coping with it now in therapy

SW248/CW234/GW145

[pammie]

Wow, thanks everyone for coming forward. I am glad to know I am not alone.

You know, sometimes I think I have to be perfect on Atkins. I am a moderator after all, it wouldn't do for me to mess up I am supposed to be giving all this good advice and if I mess up I would be a hypocrite, right?

Well, you guessed it When I posted this message I was in the middle of a mega binge! It actually took me by suprised because I thought it was behind me, it had been a long time since I really binged like I did the other day. I know what it was that set me off, I know I have been feeling depressed lately about not losing and being stalled for so long. I decided to move to maintainance to kind of chill out. But I learned that I cannot handle maintainance....all I did was add back some fruit and oatmeal and omg, I was just crazy out of control.

I went to a supermarket across town, because the one next to my house the staff know me. I went to this supermarket and bought about 5 little pastries, I was stuffed but I didn't let that stop me, next I went to a bakery and bought about 5 more pastries....As I was typing this first message my stomach hurt so bad I honestly felt like I was going to throw up, so you know what I did? I ran next door and bought potato salad!
that is how out of control I got.

It really scares me that I have been doing Atkins for a year and a half and I am still just a bite away from losing control. I feel as if this year and a half I have not learned anything! But, I am not ready to give up...so I guess it is back to day 1 for me :joy

[Deflating Diva]

:hug Oh Pammie I do know how you feel! Remember how often I blew it big time? And what did ya'll do? Supported me and understood. You know honey we are all human Mod or no Mod you are going to have issues after all you did not get fat in one year. So don't freak just take a deep breath and a huge gulp of water. I'm glad to see I am not alone.
Deflating Diva

[cleochatra]

Woohoo! She's human!

Err... I mean. :hug

I love you!

[chubbychick]

oh i can so relate to this. i can eat a whole large sized jar of nutella (chocolate spread) with a spoon in one sitting or a DOZEN krispy kreme donuts in one sitting. i really have to focus to control myself. for some reason sweets do not make me full and i can keep eating and eating. however, if i fill myself with healthy foods it seems to dull the craving. i'm also a very emotional eater, if i'm sad, happy, bored, etc. i didn't even know what a hunger pain was until i started this, i always ate well before i could become hungry.

[CoSteve]

... But I learned that I cannot handle maintainance....all I did was add back some fruit and oatmeal and omg, I was just crazy out of control.

Why? I'm sure you had some problems adjusting to induction, a few more getting into OWL, and now you're just having some problems adjusting to LM.

If this really is the time for you to start LM, even if just for a period, then maybe it's time to fight this battle and learn to live with it. Figure out why you went so out of control with so many pastries (one would have been OK once in a while) and etc. You certainly know the drill.

I know in my experience now that I've fought those battles I can handle switching between any of the phases pretty well. It really makes me feel in control.

I went to LM for awhile over the summer, binged like crazy at first, learned how to tone it down, then went back into OWL and ultimately started losing again.

Could work for you if it 's what you want ...

[kkat55]

Re: hiding binges

This was a great post!

One of my biggest temptations is Little Debbie Swiss Roll Cakes. Then next in line is the Caramello bars with the gooey caramel inside.

Sugar is so bad for you (another post), but it has such a hold on you. Again, as said before, like a drug.

It is so funny because I've done the thing with telling the clerk that we were having company when I was buying our salty/sweet snacks for me and DH.

Or I'll eat a candy bar by myself thinking that it won't hurt.

In the end I always feel bad and have been considering how short the pleasure it, yet how long I have to pay for it. A few seconds of taste for a ton of calories and awful feelings afterwards. (And sometimes it doesn't taste as good as I imagined it would.) What a waste.

[cleochatra]

Re: hiding binges

OMG! When I saw just the thread title I thought, "That reminds me of the post pammie made last year!" And it is! *LOL*

How sad am I? I love this thread and I'm so glad you bumped it! You're a little angel!

[softnred]

Re: hiding binges

Wow....I saw this post and thought HEY!!! Pammie's back!!! And Dawn too!!! But why aren't they saying "I'm back". Then I saw the date. lol

[Mary-chan]

Re: hiding binges

I'm glad this thread was bumped, as binging on "legal" foods is something I have really been struggling with since Thanksgiving. I'll be doing good for 3 or 4 days and then bam, I'm out of control. As a consequence, I've made no progress since Thanksgiving and it is really bumming me out. Well, one day at a time.... I am working hard to figure out what has been going on, though.

It's amazing how many of the posts I was reading seemed like they were describing me both pre-atkins and during..

[loser4life]

Re: hiding binges

I really like this post, it sooo makes me think I don't wanna turn back!!! I remember orderign 2 drinks at a drive thru b/c I didn't want the cashier to think all the food was mine!!!!! Ugh, how embarassing!

[pammie]

Re: hiding binges

I really like this post, it sooo makes me think I don't wanna turn back!!! I remember orderign 2 drinks at a drive thru b/c I didn't want the cashier to think all the food was mine!!!!! Ugh, how embarassing!

OMG. I did that just yesterday.
What a shock you have just given me.

[Laurenfra]

Re: hiding binges

Pammie's back Pammie's back (((((((((((((((((((((((pammie))))))))))))))))))))) ))
Please stay and visit a bit, you have been so missed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TheLoser05]

Re: hiding binges

After reading ALL of these posts... I started crying... I started crying because for the one time... the only time in my life... I know there are so many that feel the same way i do.

I was always heavy as a child... always teased and ridiculed for the way I looked. I can start to remember bingeing when I was in 4rth grade. My dad and Mom had split up long before. My Mom always chose her boyfriend's over me. So sometimes I would have that feeling like... "Well noone loves me... your the only one that is there for me (food)" So at night when my mom was fast asleep I would run downstairs... grab some leftovers out of the fridge and run to the bathroom... where I knew noone would disturb me. I had NO friends... and I just didn't care... at one point my Doctor told me that my heart couldn't take the weight... and if I kept eating I could have heart failure. But in all reality... I didn't care... right after that i went home... my mom went out... and ate and ate until she returned.

This continued my whole life... and worsened upon my mom's passing away (God rest her soul). When I started driving it became even more of a problem because now the food I so longed for was at my fingertips... I would go to Wawa (a convienence store) and order whole hoagies... and eat them while watching TV. I would eat dinner with my dad (step dad actually) then go out with friends for chinese... and eat that whole meal! I wasn't even hungry at that time!

But now I know I have to change this... because now I care if my life is in jepordy... Thank you guys so much... getting this off my chest has meant the world to me...