hiding binges

[Elizellen]

Re: hiding binges

Welocme back Pammie

[kkat55]

Re: hiding binges

After reading ALL of these posts... I started crying... I started crying because for the one time... the only time in my life... I know there are so many that feel the same way i do.

I was always heavy as a child... always teased and ridiculed for the way I looked. I can start to remember bingeing when I was in 4rth grade. My dad and Mom had split up long before. My Mom always chose her boyfriend's over me. So sometimes I would have that feeling like... "Well noone loves me... your the only one that is there for me (food)" So at night when my mom was fast asleep I would run downstairs... grab some leftovers out of the fridge and run to the bathroom... where I knew noone would disturb me. I had NO friends... and I just didn't care... at one point my Doctor told me that my heart couldn't take the weight... and if I kept eating I could have heart failure. But in all reality... I didn't care... right after that i went home... my mom went out... and ate and ate until she returned.

This continued my whole life... and worsened upon my mom's passing away (God rest her soul). When I started driving it became even more of a problem because now the food I so longed for was at my fingertips... I would go to Wawa (a convienence store) and order whole hoagies... and eat them while watching TV. I would eat dinner with my dad (step dad actually) then go out with friends for chinese... and eat that whole meal! I wasn't even hungry at that time!

But now I know I have to change this... because now I care if my life is in jepordy... Thank you guys so much... getting this off my chest has meant the world to me...

You're in the right place because there are so many people that are emotional eaters and feel the same way as you do. Have you ever thought of starting a journal here on the forum? It helps sometimes just to post your thoughts for the day and also gives others a chance to encourage you along your way into eating better and getting healthier.

[Mary-chan]

Re: hiding binges

After reading ALL of these posts... I started crying... I started crying because for the one time... the only time in my life... I know there are so many that feel the same way i do.

I was always heavy as a child... always teased and ridiculed for the way I looked. I can start to remember bingeing when I was in 4rth grade. My dad and Mom had split up long before. My Mom always chose her boyfriend's over me. So sometimes I would have that feeling like... "Well noone loves me... your the only one that is there for me (food)" So at night when my mom was fast asleep I would run downstairs... grab some leftovers out of the fridge and run to the bathroom... where I knew noone would disturb me. I had NO friends... and I just didn't care... at one point my Doctor told me that my heart couldn't take the weight... and if I kept eating I could have heart failure. But in all reality... I didn't care... right after that i went home... my mom went out... and ate and ate until she returned.

This continued my whole life... and worsened upon my mom's passing away (God rest her soul). When I started driving it became even more of a problem because now the food I so longed for was at my fingertips... I would go to Wawa (a convienence store) and order whole hoagies... and eat them while watching TV. I would eat dinner with my dad (step dad actually) then go out with friends for chinese... and eat that whole meal! I wasn't even hungry at that time!

But now I know I have to change this... because now I care if my life is in jepordy... Thank you guys so much... getting this off my chest has meant the world to me...

You are right - you are not alone!! Most of us here have gone through the exact same thing, that is why I mainly stick to the "century club" on this forum. Coming here for support is so much more meaningful then support from someone trying to lose 20 pounds to look good in a bakini or something, IMHO. I know when I post here or admit to my past binging I won't be judged!

[Katlam]

Re: hiding binges

Yea Pammie! Come on back in the water's fine!

Kathy