Chocoholic serial failer

[Helena-in-England]

Not sure at all why I am here, just to depress and annoy everyone I guess

:-(

That emoticon is me, bashing my head against a brick wall.

Have started Atkins (and some other diets) at least 1,000 times. 6am determination, all going great but the reality is, it's just a matter of how long I can stand it until I buy and eat creamy milk chocolate.

The best analogy I can give is this: imagine each day you get a random elastic band out of a box of assorted, stretch it longer and longer, until eventually it will snap. (When it snaps depends on the width, strength, type, age etc.)

That is me. The longer I am without creamy milk chocolate the more tension in that rubber band. At some point in the day it will snap. Maybe at 11am, maybe at 3pm, maybe at 6pm. When it snaps I rush out and buy chocolate, rush home and eat it, all of it, immediately. When I eat the chocolate I am in heaven. It's like heroin or alcohol or nicotine to me.

Chocolate flavoured things do not work. Sugar-free choc does not work. Atkins choc bars do not work. One square of black chocolate does not work (yuk hate dark choc). Cocoa powder mixed with butter and cream does not work. The tension is still there until the band snaps and I get the real thing. Meditation does not work. Breathing, self-hypnosis, tapping, done it all.

I have had: counselling, hypnotherapy, diet buddies, the lot. Still I eat about 200g of creamy milk chocolate every single day.

Now my doc says that I am so morbidly obese that I could die any day.

I guess that was supposed to shock me into dieting.

All it did was made me think: If I am gonna die anyway, I might as well die happy, and that day I bought 3 x as much chocolate as I usually have and ate the lot.

Doc says I can have a gastric band. Then I cannot eat more food than the size of a boiled egg. I know what I'd do: eat chocolate, even if I had to melt it.

I have no idea why I have this "death wish" because I love life, have a man who loves me, and have no problems whatsoever apart from my weight.

If my weight was normal I would not even try to give up chocolate.

I guess all this is my guilty secret. What do I want? To vent, to share, to tell, to say goodbye? I don't know.

Maybe what I want is for someone out there to tell me the secret way out of this prison that is hopeless addiction. Has anyone ever cured themselves? Have you ALL cured yourselves and its just me being a glutton or too weak, lazy, stupid, out-of-control, greedy?

[mizski]

Re: Chocoholic serial failer

I really think there is something chemically addictive in chocolate. My weakness was Lindt Lindor truffles. I could never have just one. And what was worse, for DAYS afterwards, I would crave more chocolate. Like you, chocolate flavored things just don't cut it. Ewww.

What worked for me was to make a clean break from chocolate. It was hard for about a week then I was OK. If I had even ONE PIECE, the cycle would return. And it is a vicious cycle.

Doing a clean Atkins Induction will also help tremendously. It will clear out your body from all the sugars and other heavy carbs. My suggestion is also to NOT have any artificial sweeteners at all. NONE. The mind and body has to make a clean break from sweets.

The first few days and probably the first week will be hellish but then it's over. Two weeks on Induction and your palate will have changed. Those physical cravings for chocolate will be gone. Really really. And the biggest reward? Knowing that you are no longer slave to a food.

Sounds simple to write about it and I know it is anything but easy to actually do. But you have to do it...the rest of your life is waiting for you.

[Helena-in-England]

Re: Chocoholic serial failer

Hi Mizski

My man bought me Lindt Lindor Truffles for my birthday and after tasting one I made him hide the rest of the box and ration them out to me twice a week for three weeks. Because I knew I would eat the whole large box in one evening otherwise. So, I hear you sister!

I agree about the cold turkey. I know like you do that it is the only way for me. No one would give a heroin addicted just a smaller amount of heroin! Nor a nocotine addict just one suck on a cigarette.

Funny thing is, and what I forgot to say, I am on Atkins induction already. Apart from the chocolate eveything that passes my lips is induction food (some tiny exceptions are that I sometimes have a teaspoon of sweetcorn and a few tiny matchsticks of carrot scattered into my salads. I know these two things are not allowed but quite frankly the amounts are so tiny I am sure it makes no difference whatsoever and amounts to half a carb.

You and I are similar in age but I am 3" shorter and 50lbs heavier.

I know this is my last chance.

Tomorrow is another day.

Will the band snap?

[mizski]

Re: Chocoholic serial failer

Funny thing is, and what I forgot to say, I am on Atkins induction already. Apart from the chocolate eveything that passes my lips is induction food (some tiny exceptions are that I sometimes have a teaspoon of sweetcorn and a few tiny matchsticks of carrot scattered into my salads. I know these two things are not allowed but quite frankly the amounts are so tiny I am sure it makes no difference whatsoever and amounts to half a carb.

OK, but Induction with chocolate, corn & carrot specs is not Induction but rather a deprivation diet doomed to fail. Seriously, I really believe that you have to do Induction correctly to get the benefits such as a break from cravings and those wicked hunger pangs brought on my carbs/sugars.

What worked for me was to get rid of everything in the house that is not allowed. EVERYTHING. No secret stashes, no "this is just for company" foods. Print out the allowed foods on Induction list and just have those foods in the house. Then when a craving hits, there is nothing there to tempt you. And...don't go out and get something either!

What also helped was spending a lot of time planning out my meals in FitDay and preparing tasty Induction meals. I'm also on ADBB a lot reading and posting. So much helpful information here and I've found so many bits of info that helped me get through a clean induction. I also keep reading DANDR...so much information in there and explanations of why we feel like crap from eating the things we do and how to fix it.

If you need some help with your menus you could post one of your sample menus in the "Review My Menu" section. Eating the right things at the right times will help you get over the hump. Then you will be able to continue on losing weight.

Stop thinking about "will the band snap." That can become a self-fulfilling prophesy. I know it sounds silly to say "think positively" and at first it IS a cumbersome exercise. You have the power to re-wire your brain. Keep thinking how successful you can be and then pretty soon...Voila! You are.

[jimmyolsenblues]

Re: Chocoholic serial failer

i got the lap band 3/4/02 , it absolutely saved my life and changed my eating cravings.
I recommend it for those who haved worked atkins hard and it did not work.
I love atkins..it is the only diet that actually reduces my hunger.
To cure my chocolate mint ice cream cravings , I buy chocolate mint whey protien.
Its not on the induction list..but it is considered a low carb food.
I mix it with ice and water, i like it.
I wish you success..its not easy to lose weight in this world.
But it does get easier as the ball of momentum moves.

*oh and more thing , every time you have a craving go out of the house and walk 30 minutes.
Tell your friends and family of your desire for chocolate and your pain.
People who love you are willing to help.
The others that put stuff in front of you are just jealous you are trying to get better.

[imagood1]

Re: Chocoholic serial failer

I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes a year ago and didn't change my ways -- I kept eating sugar filled food and my M&M's. Before I started Atkins in January of this year I ate a 1 pound bag of M&M's daily -- sometimes I ate a 2 pound bag - this was over and above the food I ate. I didn't think I could live without chocolate and I didn't want to.

When I got up January 5th (my start date) I made up my mind that I needed to make changes in my life, that chocolate wasn't good for me and I was ready to stop making myself more and more sick.

When you are ready to get healthy, the chocolate "rubber band" will have less tension in it and you'll be able to overcome the problem - but until you are ready to give up the things that are bad for you (for awhile, until you can start adding them back) excuses will get in your way over and over.

I am not being mean, I understand how it feels to THINK something has a hold over you but I'm also someone who KNOWS that this can be done. You need to stop eating things (no matter how small) that are not on the acceptable food list
http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.c...induction.html (What foods can be eaten on Induction?) - the first 2 weeks of Atkins is when you break habits, blow addictions out of your system and start becomming healthier. You cannot do this by continuing to eat little amounts of food not on the list - the plan was put together after years of clinical study - so for you to continue to eat small amounts of things that will stop your weight loss the way it should be. Commit to the process - give the plan 100% and you'll be amazed what you can do. Re-read this link http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.c...induction.html (What are the Rules of Induction?) and when you are ready to commit 100% you'll succeed!




Good luck to you.

[imagood1]

Re: Chocoholic serial failer

To cure my chocolate mint ice cream cravings , I buy chocolate mint whey protien.
Its not on the induction list..but it is considered a low carb food.
I mix it with ice and water, i like it.
I wish you success..its not easy to lose weight in this world.
But it does get easier as the ball of momentum moves.

Going outside the acceptable food list may work for you Jimmie -- but it doesn't work for everyone and what you and others should be doing is breaking those addictions instead of feeding then with a substitute.

[Helena-in-England]

Re: Chocoholic serial failer

OK, but Induction with chocolate, corn & carrot specs is not Induction but rather a deprivation diet

I have trouble understanding, if one can have up to 20g carbs a day, how does half a carb of corn and carrots ruin the entire diet?

Obviously I know the chocolate isn't part of induction - duh - I thought that saying I am on induction apart from the chocolate was a sort of shorthand for explaining what kinds of food I eat apart from the chocolate.

Stop thinking about "will the band snap." That can become a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Er, I only thought of it today, as a way to describe what it feels like, to help anyone reading understand how it feels. I've never thought of it that way before.

[Helena-in-England]

Re: Chocoholic serial failer

Hi Jimmie and Imagood1

You certainly are "agood1" going cold turkey like that after a bag of M&M a day. You mean chocolates dont you, not peanuts?

I don't think going outside the house is the best thing for me if I am trying to avoid chocolate. No matter which way I walk, there is a shop selling chocolate in my path. When I get the craving, I need someone to lock me in a room like a recovering heroin addict.

How did you get through the day when the craving bites right into you till it makes you want to scream?

[imagood1]

Re: Chocoholic serial failer

Hi Jimmie and Imagood1

You certainly are "agood1" going cold turkey like that after a bag of M&M a day. You mean chocolates dont you, not peanuts?

I don't think going outside the house is the best thing for me if I am trying to avoid chocolate. No matter which way I walk, there is a shop selling chocolate in my path. When I get the craving, I need someone to lock me in a room like a recovering heroin addict.

How did you get through the day when the craving bites right into you till it makes you want to scream?

When cravings started getting the better of me I drank a glass of water - I went for a walk (you don't HAVE to take money with you when you leave the house -- you wouldn't go in and shoplift chocolate would you -- that would be stupid). If you don't feel you can leave your home then get an exercise bike and ride - I ride 25 miles each time I get on the bike -- I didn't start out riding that many miles, I've worked myself up to that amount.

You have to make a commitment -- and that's what I did. I also stopped smoking cold turkey 3 years ago on July 4th (3 packs or more a day for over 30 years) - so I KNOW what breaking addictions involves. I ate both peanut and plain M&M's -- it didn't matter, I didn't discriminate - they were chocolate so that was all that mattered. I also ate several 1/2 pound Hershey bars that Walmart use to sell. I figured if I bought the 1/2 pound bar it would last longer.....maybe a few minutes longer but I never opened a bar that I didn't finish in less than an hour.

Like I said in my last post, I'm not being mean I KNOW what I'm talking about -- and I've made it to the other side - I don't want chocolate anymore, it has no hold on me now. I've read where some people eat the opposite when they want chocolate - they eat olives, pickles, cheese - that didn't work too well for me, just getting away from what bothered me is what worked best. You will find what works best for you!!

[FwL]

Re: Chocoholic serial failer

I have trouble understanding, if one can have up to 20g carbs a day, how does half a carb of corn and carrots ruin the entire diet?

No more than 20 grams of carbs is only one aspect of induction. This is the part that gets your body to start burning fat rather than carbs for fuel.

The other aspects are controlling blood sugar (keeps your insuline in check) and contolling cravings (keeps you sane and on plan).

The foods that are designated as induction friendly were chosen specifically for their ability to help you attain all three benefits of induction.

If you go at this thinking you can eat anything you want so long as your carbs are low, you're just making it harder for you to succeed.

If you really want this, don't set yourself up for failure.

[mizski]

Re: Chocoholic serial failer

I have trouble understanding, if one can have up to 20g carbs a day, how does half a carb of corn and carrots ruin the entire diet?

As a graduate (magna cum chubby) of the "I will tweak a diet and do it my way" school, my experience has been that it's not a good idea to fiddle around with diets...especially in the beginning phases. They were written like that for a reason. It's taken me many years to find this out.

It's not that the half carb will ruin the entire diet day, it's that it sets up a bad habit. Soon those few kernels of corn or whatever become a few more. It is very easy to become daring and then figure, hey, it's only a couple carbs. And before you know it, that small tidbit becomes much more.

The Atkins diet is scientific in its methodology. There are reasons why we are supposed to eat certain things and add others in a specific way. The DANDR book does an excellent job of explaining this as do many of the experienced posters here. My simple, newbie explanation is that we are trying to retrain our bodies (and minds) to eat in a specific, healthy way. For once, I'm giving Dr. Atkins the benefit of the doubt and following instructions. I lost 18#s during Induction and a few more the first week of OWL. I think I made the right decision.

Er, I only thought of it today, as a way to describe what it feels like, to help anyone reading understand how it feels.

The rubber band analogy was an excellent one. Most of us have experienced that frustrating feeling of continued building tension and frustration. Many of us have learned (or are learning) to deal with that before the tension on the band becomes too taut.

p.s. I agree about not going out of the house. I stayed in my first three days of Induction. It was just me and my Induction foods. It was not the most pleasant experience and at times I truly think I scared Mr. Ski with my crankiness. Then ketosis set in and all was fine.

[Helena-in-England]

Re: Chocoholic serial failer

I never thought about not taking money, probably because my house keys are actually attached to my purse (ie money purse not handbag purse) so whenever I am out I am accustomed to have money with me. Although to tell the truth I cannot imagine myself at my weight hobbling down the street with my stick just for "a walk".

There are no carby foods in the house. When i have the chocolate I just go out, buy it, eat it, and it's gone. I don't have anything like pasta or bread or sugar in the house.

The reason my salads have bits of carrot in is that is how they are bagged up in my local shop where I buy bags of ready-made-up salad. I don't have a car. When a friend takes me shopping in a car I can get other sorts of salad, but what I buy local has carrot. I could pick the tiny matchsticks out but that looks a bit obsessive.

[SunnySmile501]

Re: Chocoholic serial failer

You really must stop using the "I know I am going to fail, so I might as well give in now" attitude and mind-set. When you are waiting for the "band to snap," it's like you are taking bets with a bookie against yourself. Until you change your mind-set to reflect your power to forgo milk chocolate for a certain length of time, you are are taking the easy way out to deny that you have power over your habits and addictions.

1. Chocolate cravings are tied to a magnesium deficiency. You need to take a good magnesium supplement at a high dose. Most over the counter supplements are magnesium oxide, which is very hard for the body to absorb. Buy magnesium citrate and take it several times a day.

2. L-glutamine is great for calming addictive urges. They even use it for alcohol addiction. It tames sugar and carb cravings. You'll find it among the other supplements.

3. Chromium will help with blood sugar imbalance, which causes cravings. Until you get your blood sugar under control, you will have little control over urges to eat the foods you are addicted to. You are not just addicted to chocolate, but to the kind with sugar. When the mineral chromium is low in the body, you crave sugar. Sadly, the more sugar you eat, the more it depletes chromium. You will find chromium with the other supplements.

It does matter if you carbs come from sweet corn and carrots. Both of these spike blood sugar and then cause a crash, which causes cravings.

Get your body built up with supplements and then with your blood sugar under control, you can beat your cravings. Your hormones will go a little crazy when you start losing fat (they are stored in fat cells), so you need to get your vitamins and minerals back up to par to aid in weight loss.

Start out the day vowing to go just 24 hours without the chocolate fix. Don't even think about "how soon the band will snap." You sound like a very intelligent woman: you can do anything for 24 hours--anything you make up your mind you want to do. Make it through the first 24 hours before even thinking about the future. At the beginning of the new day, make another vow to go another 24 hours without a chocolate fix.

I use this formula to get past cravings and binge eating.
1. Postpone
2. diversion.
3. redirect.

1. I found the best way to get past cravings and urges to eat when not really hungry is to first drink some plain water. Sometimes we are thirsty and mistake thirst for hunger. Wait 20 minutes, then if still feeling hungry, eat a fatty protein snack. Deviled eggs, boiled eggs, cheese or some meat dipped in mayo will usually do the trick.

2. Then, if still not satisfied, get involved in something that takes your mind off food and you will most likely forget all about it. when I am busy, even when my mind registers true hunger, I usually have to make myself stop to eat.

3. Now is time for redirection of your thoughts. Whenever chocolate comes into your mind, force your mind towards something else you really like. Collect pictures of foods that are Atkins friendly and look at them until you start to want that food instead. I have found this out as I am writing a low carb cookbook. Looking at pictures of beautiful, luscious low carb food makes me want to eat it right now, just like when I see pictures of pizza (sorry--I have never liked chocolate). We are bombarded all the time with images of food that is bad for us. When you see and think about that food, your body pumps out insulin, just as if we have eaten a bite of it. It has been proven that we can gain weight just watching advertisements for food. You can offset that by not looking at those ads and looking at pictures of healthy food.

I have faith that you can do it! I know you can!

[SunnySmile501]

Re: Chocoholic serial failer

I never thought about not taking money, probably because my house keys are actually attached to my purse (ie money purse not handbag purse) so whenever I am out I am accustomed to have money with me. Although to tell the truth I cannot imagine myself at my weight hobbling down the street with my stick just for "a walk".

But you can see yourself hobbling down the street with your stick to buy more chocolate, to make your weight to go up even more? You won't change this kind of skewed thinking in a day or a week, but you can change your thinking one day at a time. It will take work, but you are worth it.

This is life or death. Give your money to someone to hold for you. Change your thought processes to "just a walk down the street" will save my life. With Atkins, you do some kind of exercise from day one--even if it is done sitting in a chair (that's how I had to start). Create a picture in your mind of walking down the street towards a better, healthier body instead of going after chocolate death.