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Good morning STACers...It's saturday. I am up early and relaxed. Getting ready to go jog on the treadmill across the street. Adding depth to my exercise plan, so I have a few options as the weather continues to limit me at times. Jogging is hard for me. It seems to take so much more effort than biking does.
I have been reading about Ketosis and how the body functions well on a fat burning metabolism. I feel that higher functioning body...I feel better than I have felt in years. I am still at the same weight for about a week now. That's ok, because I am sure with TOM so close, and that jogging I am holding alot of water...Some days I can't wait to be at the 50 pounds down place and at other times its' sooo not about the weight any more...The lifestyle and peace with food has filled my needs. I don't live for thin, I live for self control, discipline and restoration of trust in myself. I needed those more than anything. I am an addict, I truly am. I lost all self respect. Slowly I am restoring life to myself. The weight is not half as important as my need to be under control (not controlling)... free to not be consumed by wishing I were able to get control, wishing I were able to keep my word to myself, wishing I were a different person...Well slowly those wishes are turning to hard won realities.
Very hard won, nothing given away freely, no door prizes...Hopefully the self respect will be a prize I will not throw away lightly this time. Jan. 1 2007 is coming, it's my next day to work towards. I want to see this next year as a stronger woman. The first quarter of the new year holds huge tasks, great opportunities, and growth beyond what I am use to. That all starts Jan 3rd.
So, every day is totally important...Building a lifestyle to support me in the first quarter is key to my success at that time!
Hope your long weekend and holiday time is good.
I have been reading about Ketosis and how the body functions well on a fat burning metabolism. I feel that higher functioning body...I feel better than I have felt in years. I am still at the same weight for about a week now. That's ok, because I am sure with TOM so close, and that jogging I am holding alot of water...Some days I can't wait to be at the 50 pounds down place and at other times its' sooo not about the weight any more...The lifestyle and peace with food has filled my needs. I don't live for thin, I live for self control, discipline and restoration of trust in myself. I needed those more than anything. I am an addict, I truly am. I lost all self respect. Slowly I am restoring life to myself. The weight is not half as important as my need to be under control (not controlling)... free to not be consumed by wishing I were able to get control, wishing I were able to keep my word to myself, wishing I were a different person...Well slowly those wishes are turning to hard won realities.
Very hard won, nothing given away freely, no door prizes...Hopefully the self respect will be a prize I will not throw away lightly this time. Jan. 1 2007 is coming, it's my next day to work towards. I want to see this next year as a stronger woman. The first quarter of the new year holds huge tasks, great opportunities, and growth beyond what I am use to. That all starts Jan 3rd.
So, every day is totally important...Building a lifestyle to support me in the first quarter is key to my success at that time!
Hope your long weekend and holiday time is good.
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