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Let's be honest
Ahh honesty, truth, being straight etc etc etc. It's a concept i have truly been analyzing with myself over the last couple weeks, yes weeks. The concept i have been analyzing has been honesty with yourself, being truthful with yourself, and finally opening your eyes and being staight with yourself. Sure everyone nods and says yeah, that's what i am, that's what i am going to be. No more excuses, no more turning a blind eye. But personally, i don't think its as easy as that -- at least it wasn't and isn't for me.
Getting to where many of us are, we have all put blinders on, blinders that won't let us see the "real picture" and when we happen to observe it its a disassociation of who is that person you are looking at because it cannot be you.
Recently, someone posted a what made you successful thread and there is a concept in which i think is the switch that finally pushes people into being successful in turning this into a way of life, and i don't believe its motivation, or dedication so to speak, or work as a whole, but i think the initial thing that puts all of those concepts into actions is truth, when someone finally sees and is completely honest with what they are and have become....
So what is that?? Fat, flabby, lumpy, unhealthy, out of shape, a sneaker, hider, ashamed, addicted, an ostrage (sp?), bulky, wriggly in not a good way, the person in the regular mirror who seems to be looking in a silly mirror because they deny what they see, self conscious, wishful, living in a fantasy mirror, and denial.
I took a long hard look at me this weekend, and while i could come up with an excuse for every single thing listed above, i didn't, i decided not to deny the cold hard truth of what i have become physically, emotionally, and mentally.
I have started and stopped losing weight for the past 8 years, every time i jump in with both feet waiting for the person i am to come running forward to claim freedom, but then i lose my focus when she doesn't suddenly appear, i see glimpses of her now and again, but she always disappears and i am left in my truth of denial.
I know people especially in this section may get what i am saying here because i believe its a struggle we all know intimately. Many of us don't know how to be our own cheerleaders and personally, i am finding that is what needs to happen to be successful, because no matter how much others cheer for you, if you don't cheer yourself, you go back to the denial which allows for a little nibble here, a I will start again tomorrow there, a continual yoyo of excuses and returning to the comfort of hiding.
I know many people like to make goals and say i am going to do x, y, z... but i think part of being honest is to acknowledge what your vices are because those are the barriers you have to get over because this way of life is not difficult -- cutting into it is....
I know this post is long to ask a simply question but i am taking my head out of the sand and acknowledging what holds me back, i am taking them on one day at a time and in doing so this plan should fall into place....
1. I am lazy. Straight out lazy. I will come home from work and not have any pop and so instead of getting up and going to the store I will order a pizza JUST TO GET THE POP delivered. I do the same thing when i am hungry and do not want to clean up after cooking -- order a pizza. I am so lazy i won't even stop for take out if it means i need to get out of the car -- yep, i will come home and order a pizza. I live alone so its easy for me to have food all around me so i don't have to get up and get something. I order pizza 5-6 times a week.
2. I am dishonest with myself. I lie to myself. Yep, i do. I have a full conversation with myself and say okay you can restart this tomorrow no harm no foul, a month later i am still starting tomorrow. I don't acknowledge what i do, how i make up stories why i am buying the junk i do, once when i was ordering 2 foot long subs to take home, i said something about feeding kids so these people wouldn't think these were both for me. I have 6 outfits i wear over and over again thinking changing my earings will not have people noticing the repetition. I tell myself i will get off my lazy but 3 times a week and go to the gym in the morning, every morning i am up in time to go to the gym, but i conveniently putz around until its too late to go with a sigh, ohh well.
3. The best of intentions -- yes this is a HUGE vice of mine. I will go stock up on all types of atkins friendly food, i will buy lots of ground beef, chicken, veggies... today i am throwing out about $300 worth of food because i stuck it all in my frige and instead of making it yep -- ate out or ordered a pizza.
4. I am a slob. I don't take care of myself, i shower because i must, i never do my hair instead i just put it up. I have pizza boxes on my living room floor from Friday and Saturday night, i have 5 empty 2 liters on the back of my couch. This is actually funny because my house is very clean, i am a finatic about my bathroom and kitchen (which is why i order out -- no clean up), i dust weekly, moving everything). But when it comes to food and myself i am such a slob.
So why am i telling everyone all of this??? Because i am using you lol, yep, i am telling anyone who reads this what my vices are because its time i am honest and truthful with myself as to why i am not successful in working this plan. I am out of control and my life reflects same.
I am not going to say here its ended, no more, etc, i have said it all before, but starting today i am going to start being completely honest with regard to my vices, while i will be working the plan, in some ways that will be a result of conquering my vices, if they are conquered then to me the plan will fall into place... how, you ask? If i don't focus on the plan?
Well let's look at it.
Being lazy: If i stop being lazy, i will start cooking what i have in my frigde, i will gain more money because i won'tbe spending 100+ dollars for dinner and 50 for lunch eatingout because i will have made my food and brought it, which means i can go walking at lunch with my friend. And the 200 weekly of buying plan food and throwing it out because it goes bad.
Dishonesty: When i acknowledge i am being dishonest, and nip it, i will better be able to concentrate on what honesty will bring me -- motivation, dedication, and drive to succeed, which will keep me on track with the plan.
No more best of intentions -- instead my intentions don't mean anything without follow through, just as in basketball, if i make a shot no matter how badly i want it to go in, my intentions don't count -- without follow through i won't make it. So i am going to stop focusing on my blindness intentions and instead focus on follow through, which will take me a step beyond the "I will start again tomorrow" and instead have me saying, I will continue doing well tomorrow.
No more being a slob!! First of all, if i don't have the pizza or pop lol no more boxes on the floor or 2 liters sitting on the back of my couch. The more weight i lose and inshape i become the more options for clothes i will have. The same with confidence in starting to do my hair instead of just braiding it, maybe even slapping on some makeup!!
Okay lol i apologize if any are offended by the above, yes it was mostly posted for myself, but i think we all are here because we refused to acknowledge the truth many times, and to succeed i think that needs to be the first step to this plan.
Good luck.
Getting to where many of us are, we have all put blinders on, blinders that won't let us see the "real picture" and when we happen to observe it its a disassociation of who is that person you are looking at because it cannot be you.
Recently, someone posted a what made you successful thread and there is a concept in which i think is the switch that finally pushes people into being successful in turning this into a way of life, and i don't believe its motivation, or dedication so to speak, or work as a whole, but i think the initial thing that puts all of those concepts into actions is truth, when someone finally sees and is completely honest with what they are and have become....
So what is that?? Fat, flabby, lumpy, unhealthy, out of shape, a sneaker, hider, ashamed, addicted, an ostrage (sp?), bulky, wriggly in not a good way, the person in the regular mirror who seems to be looking in a silly mirror because they deny what they see, self conscious, wishful, living in a fantasy mirror, and denial.
I took a long hard look at me this weekend, and while i could come up with an excuse for every single thing listed above, i didn't, i decided not to deny the cold hard truth of what i have become physically, emotionally, and mentally.
I have started and stopped losing weight for the past 8 years, every time i jump in with both feet waiting for the person i am to come running forward to claim freedom, but then i lose my focus when she doesn't suddenly appear, i see glimpses of her now and again, but she always disappears and i am left in my truth of denial.
I know people especially in this section may get what i am saying here because i believe its a struggle we all know intimately. Many of us don't know how to be our own cheerleaders and personally, i am finding that is what needs to happen to be successful, because no matter how much others cheer for you, if you don't cheer yourself, you go back to the denial which allows for a little nibble here, a I will start again tomorrow there, a continual yoyo of excuses and returning to the comfort of hiding.
I know many people like to make goals and say i am going to do x, y, z... but i think part of being honest is to acknowledge what your vices are because those are the barriers you have to get over because this way of life is not difficult -- cutting into it is....
I know this post is long to ask a simply question but i am taking my head out of the sand and acknowledging what holds me back, i am taking them on one day at a time and in doing so this plan should fall into place....
1. I am lazy. Straight out lazy. I will come home from work and not have any pop and so instead of getting up and going to the store I will order a pizza JUST TO GET THE POP delivered. I do the same thing when i am hungry and do not want to clean up after cooking -- order a pizza. I am so lazy i won't even stop for take out if it means i need to get out of the car -- yep, i will come home and order a pizza. I live alone so its easy for me to have food all around me so i don't have to get up and get something. I order pizza 5-6 times a week.
2. I am dishonest with myself. I lie to myself. Yep, i do. I have a full conversation with myself and say okay you can restart this tomorrow no harm no foul, a month later i am still starting tomorrow. I don't acknowledge what i do, how i make up stories why i am buying the junk i do, once when i was ordering 2 foot long subs to take home, i said something about feeding kids so these people wouldn't think these were both for me. I have 6 outfits i wear over and over again thinking changing my earings will not have people noticing the repetition. I tell myself i will get off my lazy but 3 times a week and go to the gym in the morning, every morning i am up in time to go to the gym, but i conveniently putz around until its too late to go with a sigh, ohh well.
3. The best of intentions -- yes this is a HUGE vice of mine. I will go stock up on all types of atkins friendly food, i will buy lots of ground beef, chicken, veggies... today i am throwing out about $300 worth of food because i stuck it all in my frige and instead of making it yep -- ate out or ordered a pizza.
4. I am a slob. I don't take care of myself, i shower because i must, i never do my hair instead i just put it up. I have pizza boxes on my living room floor from Friday and Saturday night, i have 5 empty 2 liters on the back of my couch. This is actually funny because my house is very clean, i am a finatic about my bathroom and kitchen (which is why i order out -- no clean up), i dust weekly, moving everything). But when it comes to food and myself i am such a slob.
So why am i telling everyone all of this??? Because i am using you lol, yep, i am telling anyone who reads this what my vices are because its time i am honest and truthful with myself as to why i am not successful in working this plan. I am out of control and my life reflects same.
I am not going to say here its ended, no more, etc, i have said it all before, but starting today i am going to start being completely honest with regard to my vices, while i will be working the plan, in some ways that will be a result of conquering my vices, if they are conquered then to me the plan will fall into place... how, you ask? If i don't focus on the plan?
Well let's look at it.
Being lazy: If i stop being lazy, i will start cooking what i have in my frigde, i will gain more money because i won'tbe spending 100+ dollars for dinner and 50 for lunch eatingout because i will have made my food and brought it, which means i can go walking at lunch with my friend. And the 200 weekly of buying plan food and throwing it out because it goes bad.
Dishonesty: When i acknowledge i am being dishonest, and nip it, i will better be able to concentrate on what honesty will bring me -- motivation, dedication, and drive to succeed, which will keep me on track with the plan.
No more best of intentions -- instead my intentions don't mean anything without follow through, just as in basketball, if i make a shot no matter how badly i want it to go in, my intentions don't count -- without follow through i won't make it. So i am going to stop focusing on my blindness intentions and instead focus on follow through, which will take me a step beyond the "I will start again tomorrow" and instead have me saying, I will continue doing well tomorrow.
No more being a slob!! First of all, if i don't have the pizza or pop lol no more boxes on the floor or 2 liters sitting on the back of my couch. The more weight i lose and inshape i become the more options for clothes i will have. The same with confidence in starting to do my hair instead of just braiding it, maybe even slapping on some makeup!!
Okay lol i apologize if any are offended by the above, yes it was mostly posted for myself, but i think we all are here because we refused to acknowledge the truth many times, and to succeed i think that needs to be the first step to this plan.
Good luck.
as Monday I planned out my list and went grocery shopping, then cut up the food and such to make it assessible. And yesterday, i used to cook some of the food for grab and go, while watching the biggest loser! Next week, i am getting out my exercise ball and weights and doing some at home things, while walking at lunch and to my car at night, so i can watch the BL, and i still need to get my butt moving to work out twice in the AM a week.
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