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I don’t know where else to turn. I’m back at ADBB…the only place in my life I’ve ever had results and support in my life-long battle with weight loss.
Months have gone by since my last re-re-re-re-attempt at Atkins. I went through the many weeks including the holidays, eating out-of-control, eating and drinking many MANY calories.
I have gained back ALL of my “Atkins” lost weight plus some, I pay monthly to a gym that I haven’t seen since October, I cry myself to sleep every night.
In addition to my weight gain, my whole attitude and appearance has fallen victim. I haven’t dyed my hair in months, I have lots of grey hair, I don’t wear make-up anymore, I haven’t got my nails done, and wear my hair flat, like I just don’t care anymore. My body aches, I am tired constantly, I am so unhappy with myself. Actually, I am disgusted with myself.
I’ve even started seeing a psychiatrist to “assist” in determining my “triggers” for my binge eating. 3 months later and I’m still waiting for that magic answer.
I had my baby in July of 2006 at a doctors “estimated” weight of 370. The scale only went to 350. After delivery and post birth water loss, I ended up at around 335, which is when I started Atkins, October of 2006.
New Years through about February 2007, I got down to 298 lbs, at 5 foot 10 and having lost almost 40 lbs, I was so very happy, I was losing, had energy, buying new clothes, enjoying the compliments and kind words from people.
I then lost track, I don’t know ultimately what got a hold of me, I was just done. I found myself off Atkins and eating how I did in the past. July of 2007, my mom died, and I think since that point, is when I gave up, on the inside.
The thing is, is that no one would ever know this. I am married with 3 wonderful kids, I work full time, I am in my last two classes for my Bachelor’s in Management, we have a great social life and I would never let on to anyone in my family that I am an utter mess in my head EVERY single time I put something in my mouth.
I am confessing this to my ADBB “friends” maybe because I know you can’t see me as I hide behind my keyboard and monitor.
I know I have to do it myself and I have to make the choice.
I know I need help and support.
Here I am.
Months have gone by since my last re-re-re-re-attempt at Atkins. I went through the many weeks including the holidays, eating out-of-control, eating and drinking many MANY calories.
I have gained back ALL of my “Atkins” lost weight plus some, I pay monthly to a gym that I haven’t seen since October, I cry myself to sleep every night.
In addition to my weight gain, my whole attitude and appearance has fallen victim. I haven’t dyed my hair in months, I have lots of grey hair, I don’t wear make-up anymore, I haven’t got my nails done, and wear my hair flat, like I just don’t care anymore. My body aches, I am tired constantly, I am so unhappy with myself. Actually, I am disgusted with myself.
I’ve even started seeing a psychiatrist to “assist” in determining my “triggers” for my binge eating. 3 months later and I’m still waiting for that magic answer.
I had my baby in July of 2006 at a doctors “estimated” weight of 370. The scale only went to 350. After delivery and post birth water loss, I ended up at around 335, which is when I started Atkins, October of 2006.
New Years through about February 2007, I got down to 298 lbs, at 5 foot 10 and having lost almost 40 lbs, I was so very happy, I was losing, had energy, buying new clothes, enjoying the compliments and kind words from people.
I then lost track, I don’t know ultimately what got a hold of me, I was just done. I found myself off Atkins and eating how I did in the past. July of 2007, my mom died, and I think since that point, is when I gave up, on the inside.
The thing is, is that no one would ever know this. I am married with 3 wonderful kids, I work full time, I am in my last two classes for my Bachelor’s in Management, we have a great social life and I would never let on to anyone in my family that I am an utter mess in my head EVERY single time I put something in my mouth.
I am confessing this to my ADBB “friends” maybe because I know you can’t see me as I hide behind my keyboard and monitor.
I know I have to do it myself and I have to make the choice.
I know I need help and support.
Here I am.
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