i feel worthless

[shorty140]

Re: i feel worthless

Shorty, have you ever found a local support network. Sometimes its just helpful to have friends around you who have been where you are and done what you have done, been tthere so to speak. Have you talked to your doctor about your feeling.
I agree with the rest of the folks. Just do induction until your in ketosis, then start up the ladder. Make sure everthing you eat is good healthy food

yes ive been in and out of hospitals unfortunately, the sad part is when you have a disorder its so hard for anyone to change the way you think..that is why i need support...i also am not fond of doctors (even when im forced to go)...ive received a lot of bad advice from some of them...the worst one was "try not to purge so much, keep it down to 2-3 week"...or eat an apple and it will all get better....i mean is that the type of advice i waste all my money on? i thnk i was worse going to therapy than i am now...at least i find support thru here and other places, keeps me in check and gives me hope to live i just like the feeling that i am not alone in life
thanks for caring

[Elizellen]

Re: i feel worthless

how in the heck does fitday work?? i added my veggies in today and it said i went way past my carb intake??? am i failing already???

Hi Shorty
You can let people look at your entries in fitday to help you get the hang of it by making your account 'public'
To do that you need to click on the 'home' tab and scroll right down to the bottom of that page.
You will see a button called 'make my journal public' or something like that. click on that and you will be given a link you can copy and paste into your signature or a message. then people can look at your entries and probably be able to help you understand the figures better.
I doubt you will have gone over your 20 carbs with legal vegetables, but you may have entered the wrong amounts (easily done) or not be deducting the fibre carbs - remember it is 'net carbs' we count.

Like the others I am sure that following Atkins by the book will help you to sort out your issues with eating and make you more healthy as well as bring your weight to one you can live with.

I also agree with those who have said you do need to see your medical team too.

[yelah22]

Re: i feel worthless

I think everyone has given you some good advice. This board is very supportive. The only concern I have is your goal weight of 115 pounds. For someone who is 5'6" I would think 130 would be perfect. I'm not a dr though and I don't know the size of your bone structure (although you seem petite) but the picture of you in the red shirt looks great! What did you weigh then??? I hope you can find the emotional support you need and find happiness within yourself and acceptance of yourself while you are at it. Good luck in everything you do!

[2big4mysize]

Re: i feel worthless

Did you damage your kidneys at all? if so you can NOT do Atkins!


on fitday you need to adjust the amount of the foods after you find them. Also you want to go to the FAQ section of this board and find the fitday topic it will walk you through how to set up your fitday account so it will also show you the fiber. remember on Atkins we only count the actual part of the carbs that are by FDA definition digested so fiber is left out of our carb count you subtract your fiber total from your carb toal and get net carbs. Since you have an ED please don't get caught up in those mythical magical counting noncounting carbs known as sugar alcohols. Eat only whole foods not the frankenfoods low carbs in a box.

you are going to need to talk with your treatment team and get a handle on your eating cause like I posted earlier with only 10 pounds you should be moving from OWL to the premaintenance phases and that will take at least 6 months to lose. Atkins is restricted too while you can eat as much mixed protein and fat foods as you need to satisfy your hunger again satisfy your hunger is the key. So if only 1/2 a chicken breast with your veggies does the trick at dinner today that is where you must stop eatting. If tomorow it takes a whole chicken with your veggies then that is how much you have.

Since you researched it then you know it takes more energy from mouth to ATP ( the bodies energy units) to process Atkins style eating then it does USDA high carb eating about 25-30% so don't be alarmed when you see your total calories consumed are more then you have been eating.

What kind of exerciswe program can you do with your doctors approval since you have damaged your body?

Now what happened between you past posting about your ED and yesterday?

[Momtofour]

Re: i feel worthless

I agree with yelah22. I'm am also 5'6" and I know that 130 is on the very low side for this height. I would think that your Dr.'s would have told you to stay at this weight. I would make sure you are eating enough carbs to keep from losing. I haven't been here long enough to know, but I would think you should start on one of the higher rungs of OWL instead of starting induction. I would hate to see you get deep into ketosis and lose your desire to eat. I hope you find what works for you.

[shorty140]

Re: i feel worthless

Did you damage your kidneys at all? if so you can NOT do Atkins!


on fitday you need to adjust the amount of the foods after you find them. Also you want to go to the FAQ section of this board and find the fitday topic it will walk you through how to set up your fitday account so it will also show you the fiber. remember on Atkins we only count the actual part of the carbs that are by FDA definition digested so fiber is left out of our carb count you subtract your fiber total from your carb toal and get net carbs. Since you have an ED please don't get caught up in those mythical magical counting noncounting carbs known as sugar alcohols. Eat only whole foods not the frankenfoods low carbs in a box.

you are going to need to talk with your treatment team and get a handle on your eating cause like I posted earlier with only 10 pounds you should be moving from OWL to the premaintenance phases and that will take at least 6 months to lose. Atkins is restricted too while you can eat as much mixed protein and fat foods as you need to satisfy your hunger again satisfy your hunger is the key. So if only 1/2 a chicken breast with your veggies does the trick at dinner today that is where you must stop eatting. If tomorow it takes a whole chicken with your veggies then that is how much you have.

Since you researched it then you know it takes more energy from mouth to ATP ( the bodies energy units) to process Atkins style eating then it does USDA high carb eating about 25-30% so don't be alarmed when you see your total calories consumed are more then you have been eating.

What kind of exerciswe program can you do with your doctors approval since you have damaged your body?

Now what happened between you past posting about your ED and yesterday?

I actually didnt have as much damage as I could have...I didnt damage my kidneys or anything, what i meant about damage was my metabolism as well as my skin and hair, because i was getting very little nutrients, but if it helped at all , i used to take multivitamins, and still do.

The picture in red was when i weighed 115, right now i am fatter than that..i dont really want to take a picture because i will get depressed..but believe me 115 lbs for a person like me who was weighing 75 lbs, is definitely not too skinny, my doctors approved that i was that weight, i just started getting depressed, and starting eating more than usual...even my doctors told me this, they said recovering doesnt mean you have to get fat...i guess that is why i feel so uncomfortable.

I am not looking for fast weight loss either, if i wanted to lose weight fast i would go back to my old self...i just want to be able to lose a little bit more however long that may take, but mostly maintain...And i also want to have a good relationship with food..something that i have never been able to do...and seems im obsessed with carbs (obsessed meaning i adore them but am terrified of them) i would like to break this obsession and develop good eating habits..like protein and veggies..it seems if i eat anything carby i will get very shaky and moody, and even more hungry/depressed, and that leads to worst things.

Since my last posting and today, I hadnt really tried atkins, because i didnt know much about it, so unfortunately i got depressed and started going back to old habits (extreme fasting, etc)...well i got a wake up call, when one of my friends died the other day from anorexia, and i really told my self i had to STOP. I cant let food ruin my life, and even less i dont want to die from this disease...I guess i had been lurking around here a bit before, just reading posts trying to decide if i wanted to try it...well now i know that i do. And having support will help a lot..well positive support for good eating habits.

Exercising I only do about a 30 minute jog every day( or every other day)..and i used to dance ballet, but havent been doing it lately, but really want to go back.

I know that some of you might be scared to have me here, but it really is something im doing to get better. I no longer want to look for support in pro anorex forums, and i think someone should stop those places, they are the reason i became so ill, and the reason lots of girls like me die from it..i just dont want to go back there ever again, so i hope i can stay here if that is okay with you all

i am about to research how to do fitday, because its very confusing, and i really want to do things right thanks for all your help!!

[Momtofour]

Re: i feel worthless

Oh, please feel free to always come here. We all have issues with food. LOL We want you to get healthier too. We are all here to improve our lives in many ways. Read the 2002 edition of Atkins. You will then understand what we are talking about when we are saying that you need more carbs than what I would need. By running every day you are building muscle, which is great, but you need to feed that muscle tissue. There are some very lean, healthy people on this board who are runners themselves. Send them a pm if you are curious what their menus look like.

[2big4mysize]

Re: i feel worthless

okay you are going to need to get the higher level of Atkins book called Atkins For Life referred to AFL around here and skip induction. it is now in paper back and should be too expensive or you can get it used on the net or at a used book store.

You need to understand on Atkins you are going to morph your body mass so don't rely on your scales to tell you how good a job you are doing. You will be adding lean body mass in the form of fat burning muscle tissues, shedding body fat mass ( you can see the inches of fat leaving even when the scales don't move if you use a tape measure) and your fluid mass will be in a constant stat of flux.

You are going to have to go see your doc and find out wiht a very simple blood test if you are deficient in any vital nutriens like calcium magnesium sodium potassium and then supplement with the recommnedation he makes along with your good multi.

Your 30 min is a good start but Dr Atkins requires more both resistance and aerobic exercse on his plan so get ready to gear up your exercise program.

And you really need to stay in touch with your treatment team cause post ED treatment depression about food !is still part of your ED! they can give you individual counciling something ADBB can't they will know you are dealing with an ED and your approach to healthy eating will be different then a super heavyweight tryiing to lose to save their lives. Not everyone reads every topic so many will not know you have an ED and will offer advice you shouldn't take because of your fixation on thin.

DId you know there is a study published by UConn that showed that normal weight nonexercising fellows who switched to Atkins maintnenance from the USDA high carb plan lost body fat and gained lean body mass for a total weigh loss over 6 weeks of a couple of pounds while the control group had no change even though both groups ate the same amount of total cals and did the eame amount of exericse as they had prior to changing their eating habits. You will morph and you should be happy with your slow transformation from where you are to where you end up looking smaller without the scales moving much.

[shorty140]

Re: i feel worthless

I've deleted other posts and added this one since they were not appropriate for someone with an eating disorder.

{{{shorty}}} Your honesty is the best thing I've read in a long time. You know what your limitations and weaknesses are, and I SO applaud you for that. You only have 10 pounds to lose, so this is my personal advice:

1) Exercise. You want to look good. Thin is fine, but skinny --without fit --isn't it.

2) Work with your doctors!

3) Be careful. Ketosis makes you not hungry. This is not a starvation diet. You still have to eat a minimum amount of calories per day and keep a fit day journal. Atkins isn't a crash diet.

Do you have the 2002 version of DANDR? If not, start reading it, in addition to many of the helpful threads here at ADBB. It tells you a lot about what this way of eating really entails, and it is worth buying, especially if you are trying to keep your blood sugars stable.

You want an overall healthy lifestyle, but you have to start living it. You can do it.

thanks so much for writing =)...i really like reading your posts because you seem so positive and full of hope , it really makes me want to become that way too... I have been talking to my doctors and they told me that it was fine to do low carb lifestyle.

im not sure if im doing this okay but i would like to see some of your opinions

breakfast : omelet (2 eggs) with peppers, tomatoes, and cheese..with 2 slices turkey/ 2 slices ham chopped
snack: water and 1 stalk of celery w a piece of ham
lunch: grilled chicken salad (the salad had pieces of eggs and bacon) and it was of lettuce and spinach
snack:water and 1 stalk of celery
dinner: one jr cheese burger (from wendys) w/o bun, plain only cheese & lettuce and some diet coke
at night i had celery and lettuce

i have no idea how many calories i ate but i ate a lot!! lol and i think it was all low carb!! i weighed myself today and i am 130 i feel great i cant believe i can eat so much and still maintain my weight or lose a bit..i hope i am doing this right though!

thanks for writing
((hugs))
Andi

[Elizellen]

Re: i feel worthless

Looks good to me shorty

Dont worry about the calories for the moment - maybe later in your Atkins journey you might need to note how many you are eating - but probably only to make sure you are eating enough!!

I did note that for one snack you had just a stick of celery and water - better to have some fat with the celery to neutralise the insulin spike having carbs on their own might give you.

Looks as if you have got a handle on the WOE already - well done

[Sheshy]

Re: i feel worthless

Hi Shorty,

I'm glad you're here! And I really hope you find Atkins to be the healthy way of eating you need!

I couldn't agree with you more about the other sites...they should be banned. But, now you have a positive, healthy, true supportive place to post!

If you're interested in posting a journal, here's a link to Journal Chat:
http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.c...sprune=-1&f=31

If you'd like a place to post your thoughts, feelings, menus and exercise, here's a link to Journal Stat:
http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.c...aysprune=&f=94

[JenDoe]

Re: i feel worthless

Hi Shorty,

You're definately in the right place, and I agree with Sheshy about those other forums. They're so destructive!

I don't think anyone is scared of you being here, in fact I think many member (myself included) have suffered from an eating disorder in the past, and are happy to help and support you!

Jen
x

[Desertthorn]

Re: i feel worthless

Shortie, what ever you do, don't leave us. Just think how this post will help others who are feeling as you do.
Your menu looks awesome, well minus the diet coke, and thats just a minor error. We try to stay away from aspetine and drink only products made with splenda.

[slimndown]

Re: i feel worthless

Shorty, I'm glad you came to this board. You're on the right track. Make sure to get the Atkins for Life book and start there. PLEASE skip the induction phase. It may be a good idea to start with your net carb count (total carb count minus the fiber) at 35 grams and watch the scale - once a week. If you're losing just add 5 grams to your daily count and increase it like that until you find where you are not losing and not gaining. And if you really want to make us happy - put your goal weight at 120 and stay there. I'm 5'7 and that is considered on the lower side of being a healthy weight but still in the OK zone. You are only an inch shorter and look to be small boned, so I am sure that is a healthy weight for you - especially if you're building muscle in the place of fat. WELCOME!!!

[divaindubai]

Re: i feel worthless

Shorty (hugggs) to you!

I think you are on the right track girl! I'm sure that 115 lbs is a good weight for you, but make sure that it is within the normal range of weight for your height.

Atkins diet will not make you feel hungry, unlike other diets, the proteins and fats really fill you up!

I really wish you luck with your situation! And please make sure you keep visiting us, as we are all here for you!