It's Getting Harder

[Seshena36]

It's getting harder and harder for me to stay with this way of eating.....I have cravings for carby things more often and the temptation to cheat is ALWAYS there...........mainly because one thing has changed in my life..........

...my mother moved in with me and my 4 year old. While she is excited about my weight loss and sort of "verbally supports" me, she is putting temptation all through out my house. In the ten days she has been here, she has bought and eaten two cream cheese danish type coffee cakes, a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips, two pieces of carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, ice cream and popsicles are currently in the freezer and Sunday night she baked a box of brownies with my daughter and that plate of brownies is sitting on my kitchen counter.

I am currently...at this very minute, eating 3/4 cup rotisserie chicken shredded into a bowl with 1 - 1.5 tablespoons of mayo and I am drinking 10 oz of Diet Dr. Pepper. I know I know...the soda is bad....I just had such a craving today that I was feeling nauseous....and rather than pick up a brownie, the only thing I could think of to do was have some diet soda *sigh*. I also havent lost anything in like 12 days...not one pound. It's really depressing me. I know that it's partly a mental block thing...I know that now that she is around and has all this food in my house I am spending all of my time saying to myself "dont do it, its bad for you" ...that's all I think about and I'm not concentrating on eating right and feeling good about things the way I have been.

It's frustrating....I know its only water weight...but I'm going to try Whooshie Pie tonite, hoping it'll show some kind of drop on the scale so that it will give me a mental boost back in the right direction. That and my water intake has DECREASED which I hate...I need to get that up again...I'm sure thats part of why I havent lost any more weight in 12 days....

[chrisie_20]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Well I personally think that when having a attack of the cravings...it is better to go for a low to zero carb " no no" than cheat! Stick to it, you can do it. Use the temptations as power. Tell yourself you can beat it! I can beat you brownie...your not stronger than me. Go away popsicle...you don't bother me. I know it sounds silly. But it when I was on atkins the first time, that is what I did. I even made cakes and stuff...didn't even lick the icing off the spoons! It helped to inspire me. Maybe you can't go that far. But you can beat the temptations!

[BellaCarol]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Can't you talk to your mom and explain to her that she is not helping? I am sure she si not doing it on purpose, maybe you guys need to have a chat about you woe. She will probably support you!

[not2late]

Re: It's Getting Harder

It's your house. You make the rules in your house. Talk to your mother. Tell her that sugary stuff like ice cream, cakes, etc. are not allowed in your house. If she wants to buy them to eat, she eate it outside your house and doesn't bring it in.

You can also approach this in a "Mom, I'm concerned for your health too" way and ask her to eat healthier---cutting out the chips and sugary stuff.

[fawn]

Re: It's Getting Harder

I'm hard headed and defend my wol as if someone was attacking my kids so hang with me here and do not take it personally

First YOUR MOTHER DOES NOT NEED THAT CRAP AND NEITHER DOES YOUR BABY! Let her know that you love her and your child too much to allow that garbage in the house.

Your health the health of your child and the health of your mother are at stake here. Not only are you on a quest to lose weight but you are learning how to establish good healthy eating habits for life. You are trying to establish lessons for your child on choice making.

You are depressed and someone in your home needs to stand up and take the lead. Obviously it's going to have to be you.

Now pull your bootstraps up get going on induction to stop the cravings.....throw the crap out and stand up for yourself and your child. Your mother once realizing what you are doing can only respect you and the decision to save your child before a lifetime of struggle with obesity and degenerative disease.

this country is on a collision course with crap food. Stand up with us and fight. Fight for your life and your childs.

[dreamof145]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Yes, I totally understand. When I started this WOE at the weight of 285 pounds, I was among a family of skinny fast food freaks...who munched non-stop on chips, sodas, pizzas and other high carb foods.

I think the first month I was so siked up after reading the DANDR and joining the ADBB that it didn't bother me to be around those foods. One thing that was a big plus in my weight loss adventure...was that I watched a show on TV with Susan Powter.

She said that if you don't change your attitude about yourself and your dieting...then you will always be wanting and live in misery. All my life I had lived in misery. I ate foods that made me fat and I felt guilty while eating them. If I tried to eliminate them from my diet, then I felt deprived and miserable. The secret she said was to change your thinking and that was 50% of conquering the weight loss.

Since then...I've had fewer days of feeling deprived or tempted to cheat. I don't long for those foods anymore. I have tried new recipes and learned to appreciate the foods that I could eat. I looked for substitues for the things that I really missed...such as cauliflower/potatoes crustless pizza/pizza fried cauliflower/rice noodles/zucchini or egg noodles

Most of the foods that you normally eat can be substitued with a low-carb version. Be creative, check out recipes that others are using here...don't use your mom's way of eating as an excuse to stop you from reaching your healthy potential.

I've had lots of things happen in my life that I could have used as an excuse. Making a plan this time and sticking to it has been my life-saver. I refuse to go back to 285 pounds. I am in charge and can't control what others eat...but I can control myself and strive to be the healthiest I can be.

I'd recommend you use positive affirmations, exercise, the ADBB, your journal and whatever else motivates you to focus on you and your WOE. Sometimes it is hard, but it gets easier and easier as you see yourself shrink, gain confidence and feel great!!

[angelstar]

Re: It's Getting Harder

*BUG CUDDLES*

I'm sorry that you are surrounded by temptation. I definately agree with what everyone else has said. Talk to your mother and explain how you feel

[H2Ohhh]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Oh, Sashena -- I understand! It's not just you. For four months I was a model Atkineer. And then for some reason it got hard. It wasn't like I went off the plan completely -- I was sticking to it except for one stupid decision a day.

And it didn't help that my fiance would sit next to me eating brownies and cookies and all that stuff. I tried to talk to him, explain why it's so hard to have that stuff around, why it's really rude of him. He said "you've resisted it up to this point, so why can't you now?" Um ... I don't know. But the temptation was driving me crazy. I could no longer convince myself, as I had before, that crapfood is no longer a part of my life ... that I don't need it and should let it go. It was so bad I was screaming at him in the car just three days ago to "gimme the M&Ms and nobody gets hurt!!!!!!" He wouldn't give them to me, so out of anger I got into his chocolate stash when we got home and gobbled up a few hershey kisses.

And then I realized if it weren't for all those stupid little decisions, I'd probably be at goal now or even closer. My wedding is in two weeks and I'm nowhere near where I wanted to be -- for that event or for the rest of my life. I decided to renew my commitment to Atkins starting right then and there. It's a lot harder than the first time, but I'm going to do it.

I wish I knew what to tell you -- how to get out of that phase and get back into 100 percent commitment. But I'm still trying to figure it out myself.

A couple of things I'm trying as I attempt to get back on the wagon (and in the driver's seat, not just hanging on for dear life):
- Keep track of EVERYTHING I eat
- When a craving hits, drink a glass or two of water
- If that doesn't work, I brush my teeth
- Constantly, regularly, and religiously remind myself that whatever that temptation is will be forgotten momentarily -- while the effects of giving in have stuck with me for months

Hang in there and I'll be cheering for you. You are WORTH IT!

[staziaw]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Darling Seshena! I agree completely with Megs, Fawn and some of the others who have already responded.

It ultimately is your house, your health, your child. Ask your mom if she really means it when she says positive things to you. If she says yes, then ask her why she would bring things into the house that contradict what she says? Get her talking. When people say one thing and do another, usually there is an underlying motivating factor. Actually, the term for this in negotiation and mediation is "covert hostility." Interesting, huh? Sometimes the best way to find out what's going on is to ask questions, ask questions, and ask some more questions. Get her talking and you will be more likely to change her story to a new one, involving good food and true support for you.

If you want to know some other "negotiation" techniques, PM me and I would be happy to talk with you. I'm taking a Negotiation and Mediation course at UC-Santa Barbara and would love to share what I have learned!

Good luck, my dear! Be patient and stay strong.

Stacy

[Seshena36]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Well I personally think that when having a attack of the cravings...it is better to go for a low to zero carb " no no" than cheat! Stick to it, you can do it. Use the temptations as power. Tell yourself you can beat it! I can beat you brownie...your not stronger than me. Go away popsicle...you don't bother me. I know it sounds silly. But it when I was on atkins the first time, that is what I did. I even made cakes and stuff...didn't even lick the icing off the spoons! It helped to inspire me. Maybe you can't go that far. But you can beat the temptations!

Yes, I mean, I feel bad for having the diet soda....BUT I also think it's not as bad as it COULD be...and I am thankful that I can say no to a certain degree.
And I'm pretty sure that I can resist the completed brownies that are sitting on my counter...BUT...the smell of them baking...that really got my glands flowing and made the cravings start.....I think I'm a smell person...

[Seshena36]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Can't you talk to your mom and explain to her that she is not helping? I am sure she si not doing it on purpose, maybe you guys need to have a chat about you woe. She will probably support you!

I would LOVE to talk to my mom about it...BUT the kind of person she is and the bad relationship we have.....I know she would think of it as a personal attack against her and that I dont want her living with us...which isnt true.....so I dont really know how to brooch that.
As for support...she "says" she's proud of my weight loss but then says "well it sure seems like all you are doing is eating all day"......she was referring to Sunday....I had my first meal at 1130am and it consisted of some rotisserie chicken and a cup of green beans....then about 230pm I had some more chicken and an ounce of cheddar cheese...then at 530pm I had some ground beef with mushrooms and sourcream (sort of like stroganoff style) and a green salad..........somehow she thought that was eating all day long...dont know that support is something I can count on from her in regards to food.

[Jeudrietr]

Re: It's Getting Harder

I'd say you need to tell her straight up.

"Hey mom, I started this new diet and I'm trying not to eat a lot of sugar but I saw some recipes online for some cheesecake made with splenda. Maybe we can try those out."

...or whatever. You can't just expect her to know/understand without being told.

Good luck.

[boonie stomper]

Re: It's Getting Harder

You mom wouldn't happen to be struggling with her own weight problem by any chance? Perhaps you could get her started eating Atkins if you promise to cook for her, in exchange for her steering clear of brownie-baking and pans of danish, etc. And let her read DANDR so she will understand why you need the carbs out of your house.

[Seshena36]

Re: It's Getting Harder

It's your house. You make the rules in your house. Talk to your mother. Tell her that sugary stuff like ice cream, cakes, etc. are not allowed in your house. If she wants to buy them to eat, she eate it outside your house and doesn't bring it in.

You can also approach this in a "Mom, I'm concerned for your health too" way and ask her to eat healthier---cutting out the chips and sugary stuff.

Yes Not2late I know its MY house...but the relationship we have is so .....its like walking on eggshells as it is....we dont get along and never really have.....like I said earlier, she will take it as a personal attack...and I really am trying to be the good daughter and make it work so she will have a place to live and stuff....I feel a bit cornered on that issue...ya know. As for her health...well she's thinner than I am by a lot.....but she has some other health issues...heart problems, degeneratize bone disease, scoliosis (or however you spell it), and a body riddled with tumors.....I'd hate to feel as if I were depriving her of something...I dont know..maybe that doesnt make sense.

[Seshena36]

Re: It's Getting Harder

I know what a lot of you folks makes sense.....but maybe this has to be my own struggle for the time being??

There are just so many factors.....as for my daughter...well...she was born eating salads and veggies...and she's not a big meat eater....only really likes chicken and fish...and some ground beef.....so I dont have to worry too much about her pigging out on junk food.....I think the occassional brownie or cookie (usually oatmeal raisin) is okay for her.....but she does eat and loves green salads a few times a week. Heck, if I take her to a restaurant or pizza hut...she will eat the salad and then be too full and not want her meal or the pizza....so I'm proud of her on that level...

I dont know...maybe if I just reread everything you guys have said and then try to formulate my own plan with your advice...maybe I can figure it out??? *sigh* I will do my best......I feel a little better today...the cravings subsided....I only had the 10 oz of the diet dr pepper...never finished the other half of the bottle...and ive been drinking water since then.....sometimes the words of encouragement you guys give really helps a person feel better about what they are doing.....

I appreciate it and thank you guys...........