It's Getting Harder

[staziaw]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Good for you! You are doing a great job!

Stacy

[Seshena36]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Okay, I had court yesterday and it didnt go 100% the way I wanted it....so I ate...and I ate a lot of carbs.....

The judge did NOT grant a reversal of domicilary parenting to him (meaning she stays living with me)...BUT he did grant the ex 5 wks summer vacation time....we didnt get out of the trial until 4pm yesterday and I had to turn my daughter over to the ex at 7am this morning.....she and I have never been seperated before and now we have to be seperated for 3 weeks, then she comes back for two weeks and then she goes to him again for 2 weeks....I'm really upset about it....I tried to be strong for her.....so now I still have to contend with my mother's negative comments and attitude and the temporary seperation from the one thing in life that matters to me.........

So yes....I ate last night as I was packing her belongings......I ate two small cupcakes from walmart with frosting........and then I puked my guts out because it was too much for my system......then later I ate some Lays Plain Potatoe Chips and 3/4 of a package of Nissin Ramen Noodles with veggies.......all bad I know.....I just couldnt help it....I cried while I ate....but I have vowed that while she is gone, to help me keep my mind off of her being gone...I will be walking the golf course track right next to where I work every night after work....I think its about 2.5 miles......hopefully that will help me heal and be strong, keep my mind off of how much I miss her, make me so tired that I pass out when I come home until morning, and get me in better shape or help me to continue to lose......

Anyway.......that's all....I'm still under the 240 mark...I think I showed a gain of like two or three pounds but I'm still under so its okay with me.....

[msnicksmom]

Re: It's Getting Harder

You will get through this. I am SO SO SO sorry.

Hugs
Denise

[Seshena36]

Re: It's Getting Harder

You will get through this. I am SO SO SO sorry.

Hugs
Denise

Thanks Denise...I just have to make sure I dont start eating out of "pain" or "heartache" like I used to in the past.....

[Elizellen]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Sheshena
Sending you cyberhugs as I add you to my prayerlist

[Seshena36]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Sheshena
Sending you cyberhugs as I add you to my prayerlist

Thank you Elizellen...that means a lot.....

[Seshena36]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Here's one more feather in my cap (sarcasm)..the guy I have been seeing for almost 7 months now....went to his house yesterday evening *he gave me the key* to wait for him to get done with his meeting...I was going to cook dinner....I went to empty his trash and found condom wrappers in it *sigh*...I picked up his personal cell (he had his work cell on him) and right on the front was a text message from a girl of a sexual nature....when I called him and asked him...turns out he's been cheating on me for the past three weeks *shaking head*...so much for him being supportive of me morally eh? He was with me Saturday, then came back Sunday and took me and my daughter out to the movies, then Sunday night he was with her and then he was going to be with me again Monday (but I canceled because of the court thing) and instead we were going to be together and hang out Tuesday...until I found out.....

Man...even Officers in the United States Army dont have the moral fiber they should have..........

So TWO emotionally unexpected blows for me in less than 24 hours.....what a bad time for me to give up carbs......

[ErinRachel1021]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Oh Seshena! I feel for you so much! It's hard to tell someone that they should be focused on their diet when going through such an emotional upheaval, but I'm recalling back to bad times for me and thinking...eating that crap never REALLY made me feel better. If anything it gave the a physical feeling to go along with the emotional.
Do you have enough money to do something the pamper yourself? Anything? A pedicure? A massage? A gorgeous new haircut? (I love having my hair washed, etc).
I'm so sorry you have to go through this "alone" but we really are all here for you. I don't know if you have a messenger or anything, but if you look at my profile, my screen names are there. I'm on all day at work and am here to listen.
Stay strong girl! You can rise above all this!

:hugs

[Elizellen]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Oh Sheshena - it really isnt your week is it.

One thing I try to keep in mind when all about me is going crazy is this - the one thing in life that we CAN have some control over is what we eat and drink. So keep planning that aspect of your life and celebrate each meal and snack that you manage to eat on-plan as a victory

[Seshena36]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Oh Sheshena - it really isnt your week is it.

One thing I try to keep in mind when all about me is going crazy is this - the one thing in life that we CAN have some control over is what we eat and drink. So keep planning that aspect of your life and celebrate each meal and snack that you manage to eat on-plan as a victory

Thanks Elizellen....yeah its a bad week.....but I am doing my best to keep myself together...I know that my daughter having a relationship with her daddy is important and that it isnt just about me....but I cant help missing her...I havent been apart from her other than work since conception....ah well....I have been drinking tons of water today and I had cucumber kimchee with beef bulgogi for lunch (no rice or anything just the meat).....and instead of going straight home (so I wont think about my daughter) I'm meeting a coworker at the gym to hit the treadmill for 45 minutes with her....I'll exerciese every night to keep my mind off of missing my angel....

As for the other thing.....what can I say....I'm not a good judge of character or I'm a moron...and after I started him on Atkins and helped him lose 10-12 lbs too *shaking head*....that's gratitude for you huh?

[angelstar]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Seshena, I'm so sorry to hear about everything. My thoughts are with you. I hope that you dont take that scumbag back. He doesnt deserve a caring person like you. I know that the easiest thing to probably do right now is to go back to your old way of eating but I know you would regret it if you did. I hope you stick with it and next time you see scumbag you'll be looking stunning and show him what he missed out on.

Take care xxx

[Rae-Marie]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Not sure if it fair of you to group/stereotype the officers in our Armed Forces as not having "moral fiber" . He is a person, an individual - "they" are not all the same.

Here's one more feather in my cap (sarcasm)..the guy I have been seeing for almost 7 months now....went to his house yesterday evening *he gave me the key* to wait for him to get done with his meeting...I was going to cook dinner....I went to empty his trash and found condom wrappers in it *sigh*...I picked up his personal cell (he had his work cell on him) and right on the front was a text message from a girl of a sexual nature....when I called him and asked him...turns out he's been cheating on me for the past three weeks *shaking head*...so much for him being supportive of me morally eh? He was with me Saturday, then came back Sunday and took me and my daughter out to the movies, then Sunday night he was with her and then he was going to be with me again Monday (but I canceled because of the court thing) and instead we were going to be together and hang out Tuesday...until I found out.....

Man...even Officers in the United States Army dont have the moral fiber they should have..........

So TWO emotionally unexpected blows for me in less than 24 hours.....what a bad time for me to give up carbs......

[Seshena36]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Not sure if it fair of you to group/stereotype the officers in our Armed Forces as not having "moral fiber" . He is a person, an individual - "they" are not all the same.

Okay well...I work for the Army....I deal with people of all ranks every day as well as their spouses and children.....let's just say that my statement is based on every single one that I personally have come across *which is a lot*...I simply thought perhaps this one was different.....

Anyway, on a brighter note...those of you who have chatted with me on the board and answered my questions know that I dont exercise except for all the running around I do on a daily basis.....

As a stress reliever and to keep my mind off of my daughter, I went to the GYM yesterday after work!!! Mark that one on the calenders...LOL...I did 45 minutes on the treadmill.....I was surprised at how quickly the time went by....I felt great for a few hours afterwards....but was SOUND asleep by 9pm...LOL (I'm old I guess)....I plan to go again today as well.....who knew a treadmill could make you feel so good.....

[msnicksmom]

Re: It's Getting Harder

Good for you! What a great attitude. Exercise gives you a great energy bump too.

Have a great day!

Hugs
Denise

[Rae-Marie]

Re: It's Getting Harder

I would hope you would not know every officer you have "personally come across" to the same extent as you know/knew him. It ignorant to slander based on stereotyping. It's too bad seeing as you will have to "deal" with these people at work.

Okay well...I work for the Army....I deal with people of all ranks every day as well as their spouses and children.....let's just say that my statement is based on every single one that I personally have come across *which is a lot*...I simply thought perhaps this one was different.....

Anyway, on a brighter note...those of you who have chatted with me on the board and answered my questions know that I dont exercise except for all the running around I do on a daily basis.....

As a stress reliever and to keep my mind off of my daughter, I went to the GYM yesterday after work!!! Mark that one on the calenders...LOL...I did 45 minutes on the treadmill.....I was surprised at how quickly the time went by....I felt great for a few hours afterwards....but was SOUND asleep by 9pm...LOL (I'm old I guess)....I plan to go again today as well.....who knew a treadmill could make you feel so good.....