What will you look and feel like at goal?

[Adena]

Re: What will you look and feel like at goal?

Bumping this thread for recent arrivals to the board...

What will YOU look and feel like at goal?

[Chris]

Re: What will you look and feel like at goal?

Some may not appreciate what I'm about to say, but I have to say it. I have been battling my weight all of my adult life, but, two times in the past I did manage to reach goal while doing Weight Watchers (of course, I put it all back, again, plus some, both times).

I remember, as I was losing, especially the first time, doing this visualization routine. I imagined what life was going to be like, and could hardly wait to get there.

Now, there is NO question that when I reached goal, I felt better -- SO much better -- about myself. I found that I actually enjoyed shopping for clothes, I could run up the stairs, and move with ease. I was no longer embarassed to go out with friends, or to meet new people. Those things were super. However, what I also soon discovered was that the world's perception of me didn't seem to change all that much. I wasn't suddenly more popular than I had been, or wasn't suddenly the object of endearing glances from someone that I might have found interesting. In short, life was pretty much the same as it always had been. There were frustrations at work, family problems, my own personal guilt trips for whatever reasons, disagreements with friends, and on and on. Somehow, in my mind, I had thought everything would change for the better. Many things did, but far more things didn't.

Now, I know as you're reading this you're saying to yourself, "Well, that's so obvious. I already know that!" It seems that way, yes, until it happens to you. From some things I've read, what I experienced is not an uncommon event. Many overweight folks, if only subconsciously, think that if they can just be thin, again, the world will be their oyster.

So, yes, look forward to the future when you know you'll look better, feel better, be healthier, and be better able to do the things you'd like to do. But, please, don't expect a miracle change, or you're setting yourself up for disappointment -- a disappointment for some that actually contributes to the regaining of those lost pounds.

Sincere to all of you, along with my true wishes that each of you reaches that goal, and finds those realistic rewards that doing so will bring.

[cleochatra]

Re: What will you look and feel like at goal?

With respect to everyone, and because it was asked that newbies join in the discussion, I am going to agree with Chris here.

At goal? I'll look smaller, no doubt. But feelings? I'll still have the same stressors I have now, the same worries I have now. I'll still have the same OCD, ADD and control issues I have now. I'll still be a flaming perfectionist who's extremely hard on mmyself. I'll still feel inadequate, pinch pennies so hard I make Lincoln break wind, and will worry about losing people around me who I love (I lost my mom early in life).

I can't say to myself that even when my behind could create world peace in a pair of Gloria Vanderbilt stretch jeans that life will be all noogies and butterflies, because it won't. It can't be. I'll still want to smack my husband's boss, avoid the annoying neighbor and have to deal with a puppy who thinks chewing shoes is a marvellous pasttime.

We're just thinner people with the same problems and issues we have now.

I applaud people who see and visualize the end result with elation, and who see life as fully positive as a thin person. Still, myself, as a person who's visited both Pizza the Hut Junction and Thinsville, I can tell you that it is awesome to have expectations, but please also let them be realistic.

Don't sabotage yourself into thinking life's problems go away just because you can accessorize at Victoria's Secret instead of Sears.

Weight loss doesn't solve problems. It just makes them more fashionable.


{{{everyone}}}

[G-Mom]

Re: What will you look and feel like at goal?

Cleo, you are so correct, as always, and eloquent, as always. Many of us got in our predicament due to emotional eating. That is why we need to work on changing our entire way of thinking and dealing with problems that have nothing to do with food, but food somehow becomes the remedy (or band-aid).

I visualize myself as someone in control of myself, not just wanting to control everyone and everything around me.

Cleo, I think we would be fast friends in real life, we are very similar, except you have more wit in your little finger than I have in my whole being!

[julirama723]

Re: What will you look and feel like at goal?

WOW This is a great thread, I can't believe I didn't see this one before.

Yeah, I agree with Chris, et al., that just because I'm thinner doesn't mean everything will be perfect. But I do believe a lot of things will change for the better. Obviously, many outside factors will remain the same (work stress, schedules, weather, gravity, death and taxes) but I really see things getting better, and I'm really excited about those. Here they are, in no particular order.

1. MY SEX LIFE
I've already got a great one, I can't even imagine how much better it will be with more weight gone! Not because I'm trying to pick up some new hottie or something (I'm still happy with the current model ), but simply because I'll be more limber and more flexible. I am so excited to try new stuff out, or invent new positions if need be, AND I won't feel like Ursula the Sea Witch if I'm on top. Kama Sutra, here I come!

2. HEALTH/FITNESS
Gawd I can't wait to be one of those incredibly healthy, sexy, sort of naturalistic women that you always see hiking, backcountry camping, enjoying the wilderness! My birthday present this summer is going to be a backcountry hike up to Sperry Chalet in Glacier National Park. I think it's like 8 miles up into the mountains, and there's no way I could have done it previously, or even NOW at my current weight. I also want to be able to run without feeling like my lungs are bleeding or my muscles are aching or my fat bulges are causing major motion in the ocean when I move. I want to be the person that people ask for fitness advice, just because I'm so gosh darn healthy.

3. MONEY/FINANCES
Health=saving money. Less visits to the doctor, and when I'm older, cheaper health insurance because my cholesterol and blood pressure won't be 200 points over "normal." I also have stopped drinking POP/SODA, which, no joke, has saved me over $100 since August!!! I've stopped eating "fast food" and "junk food" which has saved money. I am also no longer spending small amounts here and there, buying gum, soda, candy, etc. from gas stations and machines.

4. APPEARANCE
My younger students think I'm much older than I really am, simply because I'm fat. My older students probably just think I'm a dork anyway, so I really don't care what opinions they have LOL. I want to look my age--if not younger. I want to stay forever young in mind, body, and spirit. And yes, I will be shallow and admit it, but I also LOVE to have guys hit on me--it happened A LOT when I lost all that weight before, and I'm not kidding you, my work must be paying off because three guys hit on me Thursday night. Although my boyfriend is the only one for me, and I know he loves me and thinks I'm sexy, it's nice to know that I am still a sexually attractive woman. Vanity aside, it's a true fact that fat people are often overlooked, pitied, stereotyped, abhorred, and mocked by non-fat people. I don't ever want to be the butt of someone's fat joke again. No pun intended.

5. EMOTIONAL/SPIRITUAL
Carbs have given me mood swings, exhaustion, irritability, loss of my temper, sobbing, crying, swearing, depression, vulnerability, worthlessness, and despair. The first thing I noticed about changing the way I ate is my mood and emotional stability. Sugar makes me a MONSTER, and I don't want to do that to my loved ones anymore.

I'm hoping to be around 160 or 170 (my mind changes daily about this goal, based on how much fat I'm losing vs. how much actual "weight" I'm losing)...or a size 10. I've never been a size 10--ok well maybe when I was 13. Both times I've been on Atkins (2003 and NOW) I started as a size 20. In 2003, I got down to a 12, and I know I can get to a 10, no problem. I guess I'll re-evaluate from there.



The pic of me in the crazy outfit and cowboy hat is from April 2004. I had lost about 70lb. at this point, and I felt great and had lots of confidence--I'd have to, to wear an outfit like that! (It was actually at a party, and I was uh...intoxicated. The guy who I cut out of the picture was wearing a pair of my pants, too, and I was so proud that they fit him!)

The pic of me in the shorts is from July 2004, and I had actually started to gain weight back at this time. I had probably gained 10lb. since the April picture. But I was on vacation, and thought I could play fast and loose with my eating plan. Gawd I can't believe how strong my legs look in this pic...they're gross now, but getting better.

I'd love to get back to this point!

[Adena]

Re: What will you look and feel like at goal?

Chris and Cleo, I definitely agree with you -- to an extent. The world will not change, and we will not change. And being in control of our eating and emotions will be critical. However, one thing I KNOW that I will feel better physically, I know I won't always have to buy clothes at the fat girl store, I know I'll be alot less self-conscious. Completely confident? No, of course not, but much more so. And yes, I know I will feel better about myself. Heck, I've lost less than 30 pounds, and I already do.

All that said, I do appreciate you both pointing out that fundamentally, we won't change. And our inherent flaws, issues, etc. will still be there. But, if you read back through, many of the things that people said will change -- like the numbers on the scale, their clothing size, the ability to cross their legs even.... YES, those things WILL change. And I, for one, can't wait.

[Lady_Hawke]

Re: What will you look and feel like at goal?

This is a great thread.
I agree, everything won't change in the outside world - but one thing is for sure.....as this cocoon of fat melts - I sure am changing!
My attitude for one.
I am feeling more confident and becoming more and more the "me" I was before I hid away under all this fat......some people may not like it, but those are the people that have used me as a door mat for too many years.
I look forward to facing the world as a healthy, beautiful, happy me!
Attitude is everything.

[Chris]

Re: What will you look and feel like at goal?

However, one thing I KNOW that I will feel better physically, I know I won't always have to buy clothes at the fat girl store, I know I'll be alot less self-conscious. Completely confident? No, of course not, but much more so. And yes, I know I will feel better about myself. Heck, I've lost less than 30 pounds, and I already do.

Those sound like some pretty darn realistic expectations, to me!

[ValidRouge]

Re: What will you look and feel like at goal?

One reason I like to visualize how I will look and feel at goal, and why I encourage people on this board to visualize how they will look and feel is that too many of us as adults have only known being overweight, and it is a very hard task to visualize it because we've never known it. Because we cannot visualize it, its so easy to sabotage ourselves with the thought "I'm never going to make goal" or "I'm never going to be thin".

A concept I really think is true is that if you believe in something enough, or if you visualize something enough to convince your subconscious that it can happen...it WILL happen. But if you keep telling that same subconscious over and over that it can't happen...well guess what...it most likely WILL NOT happen.

Every day I visualize what I'm going to look and feel like at goal. I don't make the mistake of imagining that losing weight is going to make stupid people smart, or make me any less of a know it all....but I can imagine what my body will look like and I won't have to feel self conscious about wearing a size 22, that my gut sticks out over the top of my pants, etc. etc. etc.

[grizzly]

Re: What will you look and feel like at goal?

Oh to be there soon!!! Grizzly hopes to see a size 38 pants from a size 50. Shirt will alway be a XXL due to big chest. Runs in all the men in family, yes we are all tall. Seeing 215-230 lbs. would be great.

Tired of being the biggest man in the room, people thinking you are not as intelligent as skinny men, tired of looking for tables instead of booths at restaurants, scared to death of airplane seats and having people double take a look at you when you are out in public.

Yea, looking for that peace of being respected again and having that long lost SELF CONFIDENCE!!!!!!!! Tired of having my pity parties, feeling sorry for myself.

Things I look forward to is being able to ride any ride at DISNEY WORLD that I want and not have to stand in line wondering if I will be able to ride it with my youngest son. Yes a couple of rides I can not fit in. Already went through that embarassment.

Goal is to go to Iditarod in March of 2007 and have my friends in Willow, AK. have to take a double take of ol' Griz. Also, will not have to worry about how much weight is in our Cessna with the dogs and me. Well, will still have to worry a little but, it will be nice.

[Kent]

Re: What will you look and feel like at goal?

Oh to be there soon!!! Grizzly hopes to see a size 38 pants from a size 50. Shirt will alway be a XXL due to big chest. Runs in all the men in family, yes we are all tall. Seeing 215-230 lbs. would be great.

Tired of being the biggest man in the room, people thinking you are not as intelligent as skinny men, tired of looking for tables instead of booths at restaurants, scared to death of airplane seats

Way to go Grizzly for being able to articulate exactly what it means to be thin to you. I worked through those same feelings, and the feelings of self-confidence is huge.

Even if the people around you aren't aware of how far you have come. You know. I knew if I could accomplish the weight loss, which seemed insurmountable at first, I could certainly do X. Running a half marathon seemed the same way to an avid NON-runner, but now that has come and gone. There will always be new challenges placed by myself or others, but you know if I could lose that weight, prove everyone wrong, prove your inner doubting self wrong, you can certainly put yourself on the line for that.

I certainly hope you gain that. I might have said the same thing about myself and the big chest or the thick legs. My thigh circumference was actually larger than my current waist size. One thing I did learn is never sell yourself short. Hence, my new goal was recently set. I never thought I could be below 225 again, but here I am within spitting distance of the new goal.

[cleochatra]

Re: What will you look and feel like at goal?

I agree! Shooting for realistic expectations makes all the difference. While not in any way creating a pejorative environment, I wanted to ensure that people realize that at goal, there is far more than the aesthetic qualities of weight loss. The aesthetics is the easy part. It's the part society cares about, while not nurtuiring the spirit or the underlying philosophical and psychological issues which brought us to where we are now, the underlying issues which caused everyone to gain weight to begin with.

Healthy visualization also includes the knowledge that life ain't never perfect, even at goal.

And so long as we remember that, a little visualization isn't an unhealthy thing.

Keep visualizing!

[ValidRouge]

Re: What will you look and feel like at goal?

Here's a good quote that I found in someone's journal stats that is appropriate.
"The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen."Frank Lloyd Wright US architect (1869 - 1959)

One way we can get ourselves to believe in it is to visualize it and visualize it OFTEN.

[grizzly]

Re: What will you look and feel like at goal?

Kent and all the others, a big bear hug from Grizzly, thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ValidRouge]

Re: What will you look and feel like at goal?

Grizzly, look for posts by a guy named Scooterjam, he's done a great job too. I haven't seen him in a month or so...I think I"ll try to find him and get him back here posting. I can't wait to see your success.