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Re: DH Dilema Need Help
i don't think his request is mean, or sabotaging or whatever, i think its him trying to get one last piece of a place he is familiar with before moving on to different, unknown things. Sorta one last harrah. This whole idea could be his worry about moving, his nervousness about a new place, unknown place, etc. So he wants familiarity one last time. Maybe his request isn't FOR YOU when he requested this, but for himself, his need right now in these last two weeks.
I think you are doing well asking for help in working this through, but i don't think the answer is to restrict your husband and you from going or restricting him from something he enjoys. Its your responsibility to find solutions not everyone elses responsibility to change their life choices to make yours easier all the time. If that makes sense. And it doesn't seem as if you want that either for him.
To me this is part of what this means is part of a lifestyle change you have to learn to compromise and work with what is around you, while staying on plan without hindering someone elses enjoyment of food, meaning a husband who can eat anything and not gain weight and enjoys certain places to eat.
So in my opinon, why not call ahead, explain the situation and ask if it will be okay if you bring something for yourself. Most restuarants would probably be accomodating under the circumstances. That way you both get what you would like and you can still stay on plan. IF its a deli i can bet there will be salads there.
Or you can eat before hand and just have coffee or something and still make it about the place while he enjoys his "last meal syndrome" and you enjoy him.
The other thing you can do is get some friends together and go. That way your not eating or special eating won't be so obvious and will be more festive.
i commend you on trying to figure out a solution instead of wanting to restrict him or getting mad at him.
So i think this will be a good challenge for you. I don't think you plan to restrict your husband from things he enjoys (certain restuarants and such) so if you figure out a plan now you will be able to enjoy a lot more with him in the future because you KNOW you can deal with a meal at a place where its temptation and choices that may not be easy.
I know my way of thinking is not like everyone elses, and many people will tell me how wrong my thoughts are. As someone says... its ONLY food. You don't HAVE to eat it, while you enjoy the ambiance of the place, and someone else enjoys the food. Use this as a test of how well you can make your choices or figure out a solution to something WITHOUT hindering or restricting someone else's enjoyment.
You can do it. I moved from Chicago (the land of food lol) to Tennessee (no taste at all lol), yes i wanted all my favorite places before i moved, when i go home i want to go to phillips and inos etc with everyone, to the bars and nightclubs, to portillos and gosh forbid Uno's, Home Run Inn, Magianos, the Kampi, all the little hole in the wall places. But its MY decision what i eat, and i still enjoy going there, i have just changed what i enjoy, last time i did atkins, i went home to Home Run Inn with a couple friends and ate ONLY a salad, while my friends woofed down the pizza, groan. Was it hard, yep, did i die lol yep, but i never enjoyed going there so much as i did that night because i saw my friends enjoyment!! I didn't NEED the pizza to enjoy the place. So in the end, its only food, and if you change YOUR mindset on what you are therefore, others don't have too, and you can still enjoy it with them AND stay on plan. Its up to you to make it about the people and the atmosphere and the place and the enjoyment, not to make others change why they feel they go there. To my friends lol it was about the pizza, to me, it was about laughing and hanging out with my friends. i realized i didn't need them to even know i was on atkins to accomplish enjoyment of being with them.
This lifestyle is working on you and your way of thinking. Use this as one of those life lessons, go to the place, figure out a plan before then, and then enjoy your husband, his enjoyment of his last meal there, the place, your memories. Don't make it an issue that he feels bad or guilty for wanting to do this or suggesting something he believe he will enjoy.
I will be thinkning of you and keep us posted. You will do great!! And your husband will be able to enjoy something he thinks is important to him.
i don't think his request is mean, or sabotaging or whatever, i think its him trying to get one last piece of a place he is familiar with before moving on to different, unknown things. Sorta one last harrah. This whole idea could be his worry about moving, his nervousness about a new place, unknown place, etc. So he wants familiarity one last time. Maybe his request isn't FOR YOU when he requested this, but for himself, his need right now in these last two weeks.
I think you are doing well asking for help in working this through, but i don't think the answer is to restrict your husband and you from going or restricting him from something he enjoys. Its your responsibility to find solutions not everyone elses responsibility to change their life choices to make yours easier all the time. If that makes sense. And it doesn't seem as if you want that either for him.
To me this is part of what this means is part of a lifestyle change you have to learn to compromise and work with what is around you, while staying on plan without hindering someone elses enjoyment of food, meaning a husband who can eat anything and not gain weight and enjoys certain places to eat.
So in my opinon, why not call ahead, explain the situation and ask if it will be okay if you bring something for yourself. Most restuarants would probably be accomodating under the circumstances. That way you both get what you would like and you can still stay on plan. IF its a deli i can bet there will be salads there.
Or you can eat before hand and just have coffee or something and still make it about the place while he enjoys his "last meal syndrome" and you enjoy him.
The other thing you can do is get some friends together and go. That way your not eating or special eating won't be so obvious and will be more festive.
i commend you on trying to figure out a solution instead of wanting to restrict him or getting mad at him.
So i think this will be a good challenge for you. I don't think you plan to restrict your husband from things he enjoys (certain restuarants and such) so if you figure out a plan now you will be able to enjoy a lot more with him in the future because you KNOW you can deal with a meal at a place where its temptation and choices that may not be easy.
I know my way of thinking is not like everyone elses, and many people will tell me how wrong my thoughts are. As someone says... its ONLY food. You don't HAVE to eat it, while you enjoy the ambiance of the place, and someone else enjoys the food. Use this as a test of how well you can make your choices or figure out a solution to something WITHOUT hindering or restricting someone else's enjoyment.
You can do it. I moved from Chicago (the land of food lol) to Tennessee (no taste at all lol), yes i wanted all my favorite places before i moved, when i go home i want to go to phillips and inos etc with everyone, to the bars and nightclubs, to portillos and gosh forbid Uno's, Home Run Inn, Magianos, the Kampi, all the little hole in the wall places. But its MY decision what i eat, and i still enjoy going there, i have just changed what i enjoy, last time i did atkins, i went home to Home Run Inn with a couple friends and ate ONLY a salad, while my friends woofed down the pizza, groan. Was it hard, yep, did i die lol yep, but i never enjoyed going there so much as i did that night because i saw my friends enjoyment!! I didn't NEED the pizza to enjoy the place. So in the end, its only food, and if you change YOUR mindset on what you are therefore, others don't have too, and you can still enjoy it with them AND stay on plan. Its up to you to make it about the people and the atmosphere and the place and the enjoyment, not to make others change why they feel they go there. To my friends lol it was about the pizza, to me, it was about laughing and hanging out with my friends. i realized i didn't need them to even know i was on atkins to accomplish enjoyment of being with them.
This lifestyle is working on you and your way of thinking. Use this as one of those life lessons, go to the place, figure out a plan before then, and then enjoy your husband, his enjoyment of his last meal there, the place, your memories. Don't make it an issue that he feels bad or guilty for wanting to do this or suggesting something he believe he will enjoy.
I will be thinkning of you and keep us posted. You will do great!! And your husband will be able to enjoy something he thinks is important to him.
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