My Big Fat Meltdown

[misplaced southerner]

Re: My Big Fat Meltdown

i know all of you understand how valuable your support is. really. julie, you are right. leaping off the wagon is not an option. heck i am not really worried about a stall...i am worried about a reversal! i am seeing the specialist and will know friday when i am going. he is a gyno-urologist but since he is at loma linda university, maybe he will recommend me to a endocrinologist there. my own doc seems to think i am better than fine

hi brandy and thanks. i do have polycystic ovaries but i have had them forever...it has not caused me to gain yet. still worth looking into.

and colleen...thanks! lots of head banging going on between the two of us and not the fun kind! i am going to go home tonight and RE RE RE READ...and start the elimination diet (thank goodness i know what it means now....i was thinking i might have to live in the bathroom!)

sorry for being such a big cry baby today. you'd think i had PMS Or something...that is not even an excuse for me anymore!!!

[Zarabelle]

Re: My Big Fat Meltdown

First of all HUGE HUG to you. I had no idea you were feeling like this and you have been so kind and encouraging to me.

I think you look totally amazing in your pictures. Honestly, just fantastic. Could it be that you have set your goal too low and that your body is telling you that you have lost enough?

I remember back in the days back when, no matter what I did, I could not shift below 154 pounds (and I was 22 then!). I figured in the end that my body was trying to tell me something!

I think you look just the right weight.

Please don't get so sad. You have done so well.

Zxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[jersey]

Re: My Big Fat Meltdown

Hugs, Betsy....I suspect hormones....you're obviously right on track with this WOE....Even though my numbers come out 'within normal limits' I believe that women at a certain age can fluctuate wildly within that range - causing symptoms we do not want. I'm in perimeno and its driving me crazy - the scale is all over the place for no obvious reason. Certain days of the month I cry at Hallmark commercials.....seeing an endocrinologist is a great choice.

As for your fear that the handsome man in your pictures may freak out about you at a higher weight...well, he looks like he loves YOU very much sweetie.

Catherine

[APanthesilia]

Re: My Big Fat Meltdown

I'm afraid I don't have any suggestions on how to make it better but I do have lots and lots of hugs available right here!

I hope you feel better soon! You are an inspiration and you can do this!

Just let me know if you need another hug!

[Dotultimate]

Re: My Big Fat Meltdown

Misplace Southerner...

I think that before you can lose anymore weight, you need to start thinking more positively.

If I look as hot as you do at 47 i'll over the freakin' moon!

You're never going to lose weight without the right attitude. Stop thinkling it's not coming off and start visualizing it happening. If you're positive and exercise and eat well and don't get yourself down it will start to happen for you.

You look great - this is not about making you look good - it's about making you look EVEN better! And also... don't worry what your partner said about his ex. She's his ex for a reason - and you're the one he wants.

Be happy - be positive and don't let this get you down.

If getting there was easy, everyone would be thin.

[Carb Addict]

Re: My Big Fat Meltdown

I am grateful that you feel you have a safe place to be honest about how you are feeling. There is a fear in all of us that we will regain. You have just vocalized it for us! I wish I could wish this away from you but it is where you are right now and owning those feelings is a place to start! I am also sure that no one thinks you are a fraud. I have read alot of your posts and they are always encouraging and compassionate. Life sucks for you right now --just know that there alot of people who want to stand beside you and be an encouragement and support for you - regardless of what you weigh or how you feel!

[mitzimarie]

Re: My Big Fat Meltdown

Hi, Betsy

With regard to Ernie's comment about his ex -

And speaking as someone who is about to turn 48 - growing older does, indeed, suck at times.

Ah, sweetie... I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I just wanted you to know that I understand, and offer my unconditional support. I've been a little panicky, lately, too. Which is really kinda scary, because I thought I had this Atkins thing down pat. Honestly, I didn't find it that hard to get to goal... staying there, however, is a different story. My greatest fear, is going through the kind of thing that you are experiencing. It hasn't happened yet... oh, I've fluctuated up and down, but those occurences can always be traced to a specific food or behavior. I know that you have been 100% on plan, so it is understandably frustrating. Please, please keep us updated on what is going on with you. Surely, there is an explanation for what is happening.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[misplaced southerner]

Re: My Big Fat Meltdown

hi friends...and i mean it FRIENDS....i was so afraid to post here today but i felt like i would implode if i did not get this off my chest. i SO appreciate all the hugs and support here. you guys are totally amazing and all of you either helped me with your hugs or your suggestions or good advice...ALL OF YOU and for that i am GRATEFUL!

dot was right...i MUST think positively....i am the one who tells people to BELIEVE...i do believe in the power of positive thinking. i am going to re re re re read DANDR tonight....do the spit test AGAIN in the morning....regroup......refocus.

you know, i so much appreciate all of you who shared such lovely compliments. i am not used to such things. i was always the ugly duckling, the smart older sister, the one with the nice hair or the pretty face.....but it was not until atkins did i ever really feel attractive...**** i can't even bring myself to say pretty. the day ernie and i got married i got so teary eyed at the end of the day. i told him i did not want to take my hair down and wash my face, did not want to pack my dress away....for the very first time i truly felt like cinderella, a princess. i know that is the way it is supposed to be and MOST days are not like that!! but.....i am SO afraid of the old me. i really am

so, long story short i think i had a panic attack this morning! the weight bothers me,,,,a lot. but the fear of losing the CONTROL is what upset me the most....i felt like i was grabbing at straws. it was a terrible feeling. the old betsy is dead and buried. i just can't live like that again. i can't go back to being invisible....sad, overweight, tired....i like the new me so much better, inside and out. so THAT was my meltdown..

i should get poor ernie off the hook. sometimes he is a bonehead and says things that come out of his mouth backwards....like the time he told me" well, honey maybe your metabolism is slowing down because you are getting a little older." which translated to ME as..."you are getting old". i am hypersensitive. in all fairness he is my biggest cheerleader. i should not complain but today, he was in the line of fire....too bad for him!

gotta run. i am off to my journal. i will check in there after i take mini me to church. again. thank you all so much. BTW...my appt with the specialist is not til april 23...sheesh. so we'll see what happens there. til then, thanks so much all of you!

[FunnyActressInLA]

Re: My Big Fat Meltdown

Misplaced Southerner,
Your pictures and posts have always been such an inspiration to me, well ****, still ARE! How great it is that you shared what's going on with you in regards to weight since for the majority of us, this is a lifelong journey that will always have ups and downs. Your honestly is admirable and refreshing! You helped us all feel that we are HUMAN! Please keep the faith! My friend lost 100 lbs and maintained it for years and then all of a sudden she keeps fluctating with the same 10 lbs. it doesn't affect her clothing size or how she looks but it bothers HER to see the 10lb gain on the scale. She is younger than you and it's happening so maybe sometimes the body fights on what we think our goal is? I'm not sure. Just wanted you to know it can happen to young people too. Just keep on keeping on, maybe throw a twist in your exercise, do something COMPLETELY different like a belly dance class or a even better an "S" Factor class. And maybe try eating 5-6 mini meals instead of 3 bigger meals yk? We don't know each other that well but again you are one of my inspirations on the board! HTH!

[Chicklady]

Re: My Big Fat Meltdown

Just a thought.....menopausal or perimenopausal causes? I wish you luck and hugs figuring it out!((((good luck))))

[SunnySmile501]

Re: My Big Fat Meltdown

There must be a reason of some sort!

The yeast thing is about yeast overgrowth in the gut that can cause stalls and problems of other sorts. Take a look at DANDR chap 25 'Yeast Reactions'. I'd been ignoring this as possibility for a long time, but am trying to address it now after a spit test found yeast over growth.

There is a whole heap of info about it here: http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.c...splay.php?f=61 and I've found the stickies useful.

I have been doing it as DANDR says (not the more strict KISS diet, which is written about in the yeast forums) and lost some lbs already. I really hope it is the answer for me.

And yep, a thyroid check is always a good idea for anyone with unusualweight issues.

I've only read as far as this post, but I second the yeast-free diet. I did the Atkins version last year, but after having surgery twice with many antibiotics, I have had to resort to the ultra-strict combination of Atkins and The Yeast Connection. I am back on it right now because of recent surgery and antibiotics.

The really strict version cuts out almost everything but fresh meat, eggs and veggies, fresh squeezed lemon or limes, oils and butter. You can't have vinegar or anything that contains it, so that cuts out all condiments, including mayo and mustard, salsa, pickles, bottled salad dressings, etc. You cut out all mold containing foods, which includes all coffee, all tea, including herbal tea, all dried herbs, dried spices, nuts, powdered cheese, etc. All dairy including cheese, cream, sour cream, cottage cheese, yogurt, etc. You cut out all fruit and mushrooms. And, of course you can't have sugar, dextrose, corn starch, grains, so you can't even have artificial sweeteners because of the dextrose and maltodextrin and no iodized salt, because it contains dextrose.

It sounds extreme, but it works. I have gained almost 20 pounds from steroids (causes sugar spikes) and surgery/antibiotics causing yeast overgrowth. I eat perfectly 99% of the time, and still I gain. When you've tried everything else, and still you can't lose, it's worth it to do the yeast-free diet.

Sunny!

[quotidianlight]

Re: My Big Fat Meltdown

altho, he deserves a swift kick in the arse since he told me the other day, when i said having babies left me with a less than perfect tummy, that his ex had 4 kids and she is a toothpick. that did not earn him brownie points.

In an attempt to help the poor male unit take his foot out of his mouth I offer to run his comment through a male to female translation system.

"he told me the other day, when i said having babies left me with a less than perfect tummy, that his ex had 4 kids and she is a toothpick." = "You sound so upset about this problem and hopeless and I want to make it better because I love you and feel hopeless when you're like this. If I show you that you can have control over this problem you'll be happy and I'll still get some later!"

Well, I had a second thought. If you talk about this a lot he may be just tired of it. Men don't see our flaws unless we repeatedly point them out to him and he probably just wants to enjoy being married to his gorgious wife. Eventually if pointed out enough they will see us like we see ourselves! My ex made me promise not to say bad things about myself in front of him. A) it made him feel hopeless, B) he didn't agree and made him feel like I was calling his judgment or honesty into question "being that I was gorgious" c) that's what girlfriends were for

[Condor]

Re: My Big Fat Meltdown

So sorry to hear you are having a frustrating time. Just to let you know that I posted recently in the maintenance thread that I too have put on between 5 and 10lbs since around beginning of February. I remember I had this exact same problem last year and although it is incredibly frustrating I have put it down to "end of winter" something or other. Anway just to let you know that I have gone back to high fatting which worked very well for me last year. I am on my fifth day and have gone down nearly 3lbs (also am pre-tom so this is good news). I am keeping my fats at around 83%, protein 15% and carbs between 3 and 5 %. I can't say that this would work for everybody but it is successful for me.
Keep your chin up, you know this woe/wol works so there's no point throwing in the towel yet. Obviously you might have some other issues going on but I thought I'd give you my two cents worth. Good luck.

[samira]

Re: My Big Fat Meltdown

I think a lot of us have been in the same boat at one point or another. We stall or even gain. It's no fun denying ourselves cake for nothing. I, too, got frustrated and sad last week when the scale showed a two pound gain and I knew I hadn't been eating enough to gain. You know what I did? I hid the scale behind some boxes in a closet. I'm not going to weigh myself if it's going to make me feel bad!

Then I "got medieval" on my body.

I increased the intensity of my workouts, walked more, cut calories. Still on Atkins, but eating as few carbs as I can get away with (<20) via 2 cups of salad greens and 1 cup of other veggies. Fewer carbs = less hungry. Nothing else! No diet soda. No Splenda. No meal replacement bars. No Starbucks. Nothing prepared by someone else that I can't watch (no meals out). Just water and decaf tea to drink.

I encourage you, if you haven't already, to look at your BMR and eat at or below it. Use FitDay to track everything. I know you know this. Atkins is a pretty good WOL but for most, losing weight is still mostly about calories.
The Atkins WOL allows you to eat a lot of tasty foods and not be hungry when you're eating fewer calories. At least, that is my experience.

Even the best of us can still get knocked out of ketosis unexpectedly. The other night we ate some Dreamfields pasta (low impact carbs) and then I tested negative for ketosis a few hours later. Doh! Got back into ketosis and got knocked out again a couple of days later by a Starbucks "unsweetened" decaf iced tea. (I know I told her unsweetened, I know she wrote it on the cup, but whoever put my drink together put sweetener in it because that was the ONLY thing I didn't make myself that day and *poof* no ketosis that night.)

Please don't let the scale dictate your feelings about yourself. Take a day, meditate, de-stress, get a massage, treat yourself. You're worth it right now, today! Then when you feel better, start eating salad and chicken and drinking water again. It's true that the first time you induct is your golden opportunity, but you just have to keep going beyond the two weeks after that to see results.

Take care.

[misplaced southerner]

Re: My Big Fat Meltdown

fat actress....thank you. your post made me teary...just sent you a pm

hi miss chick...as of my check up the end of dec. no perimenopausal signs...ggrrr!

sunny, thanks for everything...i am working on my shopping list!

miss q...GOOD POINT!!! you made me laugh..i will take that advice to heart and vent to my GFs only!!! yea poor guy, i am sure he gets an earful. luckily, he is trying to lose a few pounds too.....i don't have skinny ex to compare him to...my ex was not in shape so he is safe! thanks!

condor, i appreciate your advice and will look into that

hi samira! i remember reading about your starbucks mishap...that WAS maddening...thank you for your suggestions too

well friends....i am OVERWHELMED , truly OVERWHELMED by all your kind responses....all of them are so welcome, touching, helpful.....i must say you are all the best. you understand where i am coming from because you are there too....or have been there. my friends don't know what is the big deal. in fact, my best pal in VA toldme the other day she does not feel sorry for me because if SHE could wear a 6/8 pair of pants she would not be complaining.....but all of YOU know it is not the weight gain so much as the LOSS OF CONTROL AND THE FEAR THAT GOES ALONG WITH THAT.

well, today, i have had my one allowed meltdown...no more wimpies...it is battle time....i am gathering speed, working a battle plan, making a grocery list and making a WRITTEN MENU for the next week. i think i will start on saturday. that is not to say i am eating off plan til then, but i am going to readjust a few things starting saturday. then we'll see what happens. i am ok with slow....as long as things progress.

again, i wann thank all of you so much..YOU are the reason this board is so wonderful....i just hope that i can return the favor and give you the same support you have given me!