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Re: Self diagnosed borderline personality disorder.
Hi SkaPaladin.
I don't know if you really want to hear these types of responses, but I'm not going to suggest you see a doctor.
I read your first post and honestly thought it could have been me that typed it out....about seven months ago. Years ago I had "self diagnosed" myself as being bipolar. I didn't want to see a doctor either, who may tell me I was worse than I thought or want to put me on drugs. I figured I'd just deal with it myself and learn to live with it. Once I had put this label on myself it gave definition to who I was and why I behaved the way I did.
I lived this way for years. I did the online tests and checklists that you described and all they did was simply reaffirm what I thought I already knew. One day last November I had a long talk with my sister. She had been through a very painful injury and recovery (still ongoing) and I had shared with her the condition of my sad mental state. She gently told me she didn't think I had what I thought I did and I was appalled. How could she take my comfortable mental illness away (my reaction only, not a generalization of people with mental illnesses). It was who I was...all these years!
Feeling somewhat offended I left her house and on the drive home let it slip into my mind and "maybe, just maybe - let's pretend for a minute - that I wasn't bipolar". There was something wrong with me, so if it wasn't that, it had to be something else. I allowed myself to entertain this fantasy for a while and came to realize that my problem was that I was addicted to sugar. The highs and lows and erratic behavior are so similar. I use sugar as a drug, no different than alcohol or cocaine, only my drug of choice is cheaper, legal, you can buy it on every street corner and even do it at work! I was (am) a sugar junkie.
I'm not suggesting you do not have the condition you're saying, please don't think that, I'm only telling you that by someone suggesting to me that I may not have what I think I do, well, it changed my life forever! I knew I had hypoglycemia, and that I got it from poor eating habits, but I never realized I had an addiction, just the same as alcoholism.
Once I removed the drug (sugar), the symptoms went away. I'm not saying it was or is easy, I still fall off the wagon regularly, but it's armed me with new knowledge and healed me in a way no drug ever could.
Even though I seem to be restarting Induction all the time, I know the Atkins lifestyle is the only one that is healthy for me. I just get sad and have my pity parties and rebel against myself (I'm really my own worst enemy) somehow giving myself permission to give in and indulge. This inevitably brings back all the old problems and symptoms, showing me once again that it hasn't gone away after all.
It will be a problem I have my whole life. But at least I have the right tools to work with now.
I wish you great luck, health, and success on your journey.....and don't forget....sugar's evil!
Hi SkaPaladin.
I don't know if you really want to hear these types of responses, but I'm not going to suggest you see a doctor.
I read your first post and honestly thought it could have been me that typed it out....about seven months ago. Years ago I had "self diagnosed" myself as being bipolar. I didn't want to see a doctor either, who may tell me I was worse than I thought or want to put me on drugs. I figured I'd just deal with it myself and learn to live with it. Once I had put this label on myself it gave definition to who I was and why I behaved the way I did.
I lived this way for years. I did the online tests and checklists that you described and all they did was simply reaffirm what I thought I already knew. One day last November I had a long talk with my sister. She had been through a very painful injury and recovery (still ongoing) and I had shared with her the condition of my sad mental state. She gently told me she didn't think I had what I thought I did and I was appalled. How could she take my comfortable mental illness away (my reaction only, not a generalization of people with mental illnesses). It was who I was...all these years!
Feeling somewhat offended I left her house and on the drive home let it slip into my mind and "maybe, just maybe - let's pretend for a minute - that I wasn't bipolar". There was something wrong with me, so if it wasn't that, it had to be something else. I allowed myself to entertain this fantasy for a while and came to realize that my problem was that I was addicted to sugar. The highs and lows and erratic behavior are so similar. I use sugar as a drug, no different than alcohol or cocaine, only my drug of choice is cheaper, legal, you can buy it on every street corner and even do it at work! I was (am) a sugar junkie.
I'm not suggesting you do not have the condition you're saying, please don't think that, I'm only telling you that by someone suggesting to me that I may not have what I think I do, well, it changed my life forever! I knew I had hypoglycemia, and that I got it from poor eating habits, but I never realized I had an addiction, just the same as alcoholism.
Once I removed the drug (sugar), the symptoms went away. I'm not saying it was or is easy, I still fall off the wagon regularly, but it's armed me with new knowledge and healed me in a way no drug ever could.
Even though I seem to be restarting Induction all the time, I know the Atkins lifestyle is the only one that is healthy for me. I just get sad and have my pity parties and rebel against myself (I'm really my own worst enemy) somehow giving myself permission to give in and indulge. This inevitably brings back all the old problems and symptoms, showing me once again that it hasn't gone away after all.
It will be a problem I have my whole life. But at least I have the right tools to work with now.
I wish you great luck, health, and success on your journey.....and don't forget....sugar's evil!
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