why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

[kibskix]

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

i'm so far from flat chested, in fact its the last place i seem to lose anything. i'll gladly trade you!

[w33liz23]

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

aww kibskix thats not fair that people who should be supporting you throughout this would try to encourage u not to lose weight!!!

i think its an insecurity people have when someone is achieving something they so desperatley want. dont you let people stop you on your road to a happier you
would they rather u were miserable the rest of your life constantly longing to be happy in your own skin?> its just not right!!!!
well at least your fella is a good support for you and everyone here wishes you nothing but great sucess and happiness!!

you should be so proud of yourself for doing so well and being so dedicated to losing weight its not obsessing its being aware of what your feeding your body and trying to find a happier you!!

i think your doing brilliantly keep up the good work

[momtomany1]

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

sometimes those who aren't ready to make positive changes in their lives get a feeling of being 'indicted' by those who do. Part jealousy, part guilt, because they know they aren't doing what they SHOULD be doing. (I know I have been there....)

I have one woman at work telling me I am thin enough and my face is going to be 'gaunt.' I laugh and tell her how much I still weigh, and she says 'no way! I am only 160, there is no way you weigh that much.' Well the scale at home and the scale at they gym both lie?

She is in denial. She is a 14-16 or I'll eat the nearest hat. I seriously doubt she weighs 160!

Then there is the backhanded compliment I got at work yesterday..."I see you are still sticking to your diet! We didn't think you'd last this long...." I just smiled and went on trying not to simmer and wondering who the heck is 'we' and why didn't they think I could 'last?'

But it is all worth it when a customer comes up and says, 'Are you losing weight?' and I just smile and glow with a 'Yes!' and she says, 'but you aren't sick, right? you are okay?' and I glow some more, "oh yes, feel great!" "Okay, what are you doing? I want to do it!" So I send her straight to the bookstore!

Anyway, we're proud of you. They say when the student is ready the teacher appears. There will be 'students' ready to glean from you and that you can inspire, and bit by bit maybe those scoffers will come around. The important thing you already have well in hand, taking care of you!

[chinadoll]

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

I agree with momtomany1. Do your thing and if your mom is ever ready she will change her tune. She is scared because she knows she can't do it. As strategy, if she asks I would say "I don't know- I have decided to concentrate on eating right and haven't been on the scale lately"- just to head off the number conversation. As far as being obsessive goes, my reply to those with the "just one bite" line is "Look, I know I won't be able to do this cheat free forever, so I am riding the wave as long as it lasts. As long as I have the strength not to cheat, I am going to try to keep it going." Then i smile and eat what I should. (Having said that, I went 57 days cheat free and did allow a couple small liberties on vacation last week. Now I am back to my cheat free ways again)

[Elizellen]

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

Great strategies, Jill!

[sallyseachange]

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

Ignore what others say and do and keep going down your chosen path. Easier said than done, I know, but your success will keep you focused!

[kibskix]

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

ugh.
i dont think it would bother me so much as far as my mom goes except that she keeps making corrilations between my 'obsessiveness' on atkins now, and another time in my life where i lost weight by just living off diet coke and cigarettes. what she doesn't make the connection with is 1. that happened immediately after my parents had a sickeningly messy divorce that all started with an arguement between me and my dad where he kicked me out of the house and said he didnt want me anymore (we're fine now btw). that all happened right after i got out of high school, so i had no fun summer with my friends that i'd planned or even going to freaking college or getting a job and i didnt even have time to say goodbye to anyone before i was packed up and shoveled off 5 hours away from home.
and 2. -after- all that happened, is when i found atkins, and this site, and got my butt in gear and did it right, and that was the best thing that could have happened.
she -sees- me eating mountains of veggies, and drinking nothing but water, and actually getting up all on my own and saying 'i need an hour of cardio' but somehow all she sees that and assumes its the start of me getting weird and ocd about weight loss again. but c'mon... i want more credit than that. she doesnt see me refusing food or something, all she sees is me saying i need more veggies i need more fat i need more water i need more exercise.

this weekend she's in dallas with her fiance playing a gig at a bar. my future step-dad has a band and they want some female voices so they can do more songs. moms trying to con me into going, but i'm like oh heeeeeeeeellllnawww. i can sing, rather well actually (choir 8 years) but the stage fright singing by myself is rediculous. anyway, she was saying aw cmon, a few beers and you'll be fine. i say "mom, no alcohol" she says well what about vodka "thats alcohol isnt it mom" she says well its low carbs though!! "im not allowed alcohol until like 4-5 rungs from now mom" so she just shakes her head at me like i'm being super restrictive and 'ocd' again, because i wouldnt go with her to dallas and get myself doped up on alcohol to sing with her. which made me feel like crap even though it shouldnt!

so now i'm sitting at home this weekend taking care of my sick bf, working out, eating right, etc, and feeling guilty for it. thats stupid and unfair.

[whereami]

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

Eating right and keeping yourself in the right mind set is not an easy task given the hurdles. Just ignore your mom and keep going. Always keep your goals way up high in front of your eyes and always say them aloud and let yourself hear them in your head and keep reminding yourself. Dont get irritated or depressed. Its not worth losing your health.

I have gotten so many comments like "you are being too strict on yourself", "Oh the meat diet thats not healthy" , "your still with that its not gonna work", "how long can you stick with it you think?" , Oh my god you cant lose anymore weight you already look fine."

I just smile and tell them how much Ive lost and if need be clear up misconceptions or if its from family i just smile and say try to support me heree.

My sister says its impossible absolutely impossible for me to succeed because of genetics. My dad is fat, my aunts are fat, all my sisters are fat. Its IMPOSSIBLE for me to be skinny so she said dont even try. Im wasting my time.

Im gonna prove them all wrong!

So hang in there we all have similar fights going on lol and we just have to stay strong and try to deal with it in a way that doesnt bring us down.

[kibskix]

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

how can they still say that after you've already lost 25lbs in less than 2 months??
i think people say things like that because they're afraid to reach for it. which i totally understand, when you fail and cheat it feels pretty crappy and makes you feel bad about your ability to do anything. but its so simple though! just dont cheat! lol
i think for some people who've never eaten in a healthy way this definately seems like deprivation or being too strict. but it isn't being strict, so much has having some friggin self control lol

[nerakgg9]

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

So far I am not having problems with family and I think I know why...I haven't told them I am on a weight loss diet...I have many stomach and esophageal problems, so I have told them I am trying to see if I am allergic to sugar and gluten...seems to work for me...not sure why but one of my worst enemies as far as staying on a diet is my hubby...he is pretty trim and loves food so he hates to pick a restaurant around what I can eat or if they will have what I need...my mom is hard to deal with also...the last time she came to town, 4 weeks ago...not only did I end up cheating, but it wasfor the next 10 days...donuts, nachos, tortillas...etc...I am back on track and only gained 3 lbs on the binge...I hope when mom returns in 2 weeks I can be strong...

So perhaps if you start saying that you are doing this for your health, it may work....who can be against that...

[nerakgg9]

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

Sorry for multiple posts but to clarify...mom didn't know I was dieting, but I had lost...that is why the donuts and all...

I also agree that you need to not say any numbers to her...why don't you say you are going to keep it a secret, or that you haven't weighed...

[Diver Down]

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

The best I've ever looked in my life, I weighed around 175 pounds (I'm nearly 5'10" in height). I had a flat stomach and could pull off wearing even the tightest shirts. But whenever I bring up getting BACK to that weight, everyone in my family discourages me because they've gotten used to how I look while being fat. I always hear "175 pounds?! Oh, no, no, that's WAY too thin. You'd be gaunt!" *sigh* I don't know why they refuse to acknowledge that's what I should weigh, to look my best and be the healthiest possible. I reached the 190s a few years ago and it still wasn't enough (I still looked heavy). They remain convinced I shouldn't go as low as my target weight and it's frustrating to deal with since the photos of me at that weight don't lie. Perhaps they're just trying to "protect" me, being an observer and getting freaked at the sheer amount of weight I claim I want to lose, but it's the complete opposite of giving me support. I don't want people to sugar coat the amount of weight I have to lose, or help set the bar really low in case I fail...ugh, I think that's one of the reasons I came here, to be around people who understand. It's a lonely (weight loss) road...

[keriann_forgoodthistime]

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

The best I've ever looked in my life, I weighed around 175 pounds (I'm nearly 5'10" in height). I had a flat stomach and could pull off wearing even the tightest shirts. But whenever I bring up getting BACK to that weight, everyone in my family discourages me because they've gotten used to how I look while being fat. I always hear "175 pounds?! Oh, no, no, that's WAY too thin. You'd be gaunt!" *sigh* I don't know why they refuse to acknowledge that's what I should weigh, to look my best and be the healthiest possible. I reached the 190s a few years ago and it still wasn't enough (I still looked heavy). They remain convinced I shouldn't go as low as my target weight and it's frustrating to deal with since the photos of me at that weight don't lie. Perhaps they're just trying to "protect" me, being an observer and getting freaked at the sheer amount of weight I claim I want to lose, but it's the complete opposite of giving me support. I don't want people to sugar coat the amount of weight I have to lose, or help set the bar really low in case I fail...ugh, I think that's one of the reasons I came here, to be around people who understand. It's a lonely (weight loss) road...

i hear ya...i'm 5'8 and at 160 - i'm how you are at 175. and i remember when i was down at that, everyone was always telling me, "you're tooooo thin"...

um no. in fact - i'd LOVE LOVE LOVE to get down to 150. for everyone in this thread - YOU are the one who has to live every day with looking in the mirror at YOUR body or looking down at it - so the only person who should matter to what weight you are is you. everyone else! :P