Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

What a night!

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • What a night!

    Well this really has nothing to do with Adkins, but I just want to vent.

    Well it started out as a nice day/afternoon home alone, just me and my kitties, when I got a phone call from my friend begging me to come over. Now she was really drunk and not taking "no" for an answer. So against my boyfriends wishes (no I don't take orders from him, he just doesn't like her) I went over there, telling her it would be only 30 minutes then I would come home...hey it's a good bike ride, exercise!

    Anyway I get there and there are these 3 guys there one of which was her boyfriend, some Iraqi thug (no i'm not rasist, just continue reading). So for the first 30 minutes it was fine, I was drinking my diet coke as she was getting even more wasted. At one point I knew I couldn't leave her alone with these guys because her boyfriend was calling her a whore behind her back and the others were grabbing her in inappropraite places. She started falling asleep in her chair and I asked one of the nicer looking ones to help me get her up stairs, well that was the idea. We tumbled over and she hit her head and passed out for a second. By this time I am begging her to go lay down and take it easy, of course she refusses. After much bickering she finally agreed, but as she was going to grab her phone her boyfriend said something which upset her and she shoved him, that is when things went from ugly to worse. He "pushed" her with his fist in her face at which time I shoved him away from her. Then after about an hour of fighting and trying to get him and his friends to leave they start ganging up on me. Telling me to stay out of it, they are grown people (yeah right). When I refused to back down her boyfriend begain throwing low blows at me (calling me fat, ugly, saying how he was going to mess me up, asking how I ever got someone to have sex with me, etc.) I kept edging him on to go ahead and do something, he doesn't scare me. I had 50 lbs on him. Anyway he finally said something about my boyfriend and I snapped, I lundged at him and accidently hit my friend before I got to him, which might be a good thing because he was stand at the top of the stairs. Anyway I asked my friend,"me or him, who stays?" She choose him, so I walked out (with verbal diarea (sp?) still coming out of his mouth at me) and called my boyfriend and brothers for back up. When they got there my bother was all concerned and asked if I was ok, I was shacking (from the addrinaline (sp?)) and said yeah, you could still hear them going at it.
    At this time we called the police , they came and I gave my statement and showed my wounds. They taked to her and ofcourse she denied everything! OMFG! She asked me to protect her from this happening again. I did what I could and she still choose the loser.

    Tonight I walked away from my best friend and she knows how I feel about this subject (I've been through it all before with another friend who I don't even now where she is) and I can't do it again. I lost my friend today and that makes me sad, but I am afraid for her and wish she could see how special she really is. If not for her, then for her daughter.

    Sorry if it was kind of long it is just killing me inside.
    5'1/21/F

  • #2
    Re: What a night!

    Omg i went through something so simular with my ex best friend.. but we got ran off the road and a gun to our heads .. she eventually while living with me and my fam would secretly call hima nd chose him!!!. Be happy just for the fact you did what you had to .. im proud of you...your a great friend if she doesnt realize that i feel bad for her!






    Sw-226
    Rsw-219
    Cw-...
    Gw-130People who say it can't be done, should not interrupt those doing it.
    My inspiration-Aurbrey Lily (my Daughter) 2.5 years old

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: What a night!

      You absolutely did the right thing. I've been in your situation, and there really isn't much you can do to save her at this point. You could theoretically try contacting her family, but that would definitely muddy the waters, and I don't know the situation well enough to recommend that. Just know that what you did was a beautiful thing, you did everything a good friend would (and more), and that you should not take a damn thing he said personally. He clearly has a demented world view if that's how he treats his girlfriend (who is also a mother apparently). It's best to get yourself out of that environment, as I see you have.

      Start date: 03/14/09
      Goal #1 - 260 - Met 04/12/09! Goal #4 - 230 - Met 08/03/09!
      Goal #2 - 250 - Met 05/22/09! Goal #5 - 220 - Met 01/29/10 FINALLY!
      Goal #3 - 240 - Met 06/20/09! Goal #6 - 210

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: What a night!

        007, You sound like a good friend, the kind anyone would be lucky to have. That being said, you were involved in a situation that was very dangerous, oddly enough, to you most of all. Alcohol and co-dependency are a bad mixture. Your friend sounds like she needs more help than your good intentions can give her. I hope that you will choose the wise but tough course of putting this friend behind you until she chooses to get help. It sounds like a very, very dangerous situation. I'm glad that you are okay.
        Mick
        50, m
        ale
        Easy Does IT!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: What a night!

          She has a troubled past as do I, that is why we made such good friends. But over the years I have grown up while she, despite being a mother, hasn't. She has made her choice, and I will respect that. I am still going to call her parents and let them know what she has been up to, in their house, while they toke her daughter on vacation. She does need help and I wish I would have just stayed home today, but then it could have ended worse. It wasn't just drinking they had been doing drugs too, which no I don't and never will touch the stuff. I am a D.A.R.E kid all the way . I might be 5 foot tall but if you talk about people I love I will kick your butt. Anyway, now I am feeling sick again (flu or something, had it all week) and can't sleep because I keep seeing her face. At this time I use to go for the ice-cream and chocolate, now I am going for the water and yoga mat . Thanks everyone for calming my mind and letting me know I did the right thing.
          5'1/21/F

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: What a night!

            If you were my daughter, I would be very, very proud of you.
            Mick
            50, m
            ale
            Easy Does IT!

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: What a night!

              Thanks !
              5'1/21/F

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: What a night!

                Originally posted by Mick2360 View Post
                If you were my daughter, I would be very, very proud of you.
                I agree. I'm glad you called the authorities. Too bad about her drinking, I myself was a heavy drinker. I definitely had a problem with alcohol. Luckily, I'm not abusive by nature therefore I was a 'happy' drunk. That's why my weight ballooned up to 245 lb. My girlfriends never complained about my drinking because all I did was get fairly tanked, never to the point where I'd be staggering, and play my guitar for hours. In fact, D., bless her, was a concert violinist at the Sydney Philharmonic and we would 'jam' together. We still remain the best of friends to this day. I just finished coming from her place to scoop litter and feed her cats because she's away on vacation.
                Self destructive behavior manifests itself many ways, could be drugs, alcohol, anything, even binge eating.

                You did the right thing, but if I were in your shoes, I would distance myself from her.

                Also, those jerks had no right calling you fat and ugly, because you are not. Sorry, I'm probably way out of line telling you to sort of ditch her. Well, I'm always kind of way out of line anyway. I would of made a good American baseball umpire.

                You look great and your boyfriend looks like a great guy. Well, that's my 2 cents worth.

                Take care.

                Norman
                sigpic Me, at 195 lb. September 24, 2009. It's 5:30 a.m. and can't wait to hit the coffee.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: What a night!

                  Thanks Norman, I have been though this with another friend. I was even great friends with her boyfriend. Then he got abusive and she wouldn't take my help, I left. It's been over 2 years since I've seen or spoken to her or him.

                  I know I need to do this, I got my perfect life now. I am no long the 15/16 year old I was when we meet. I was also a happy drunk (the drinking age here was 16 at the time) but I just grew out of it. It stopped tickling my fancy.

                  I have taken the first steps of removing all ways for her to contact me. Deleting phone numbers (I only answer when I know the number, had a stalker a while ago) and removing her from friends list on places like facebook. Even took her out of my email list. Hopefully she will get the message.
                  5'1/21/F

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: What a night!

                    I am sorry you had to experience all that Your a very good friend,I am sorry she lost you. But like you said she made her choice,a very wrong one but she made one. I truly hope she realizes things before it gets worse.
                    F/5'5


                    SW-180
                    CW-160
                    GW-135




                    -20lbs
                    5 inches gone so far

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: What a night!

                      You are a true friend.
                      149.8/no weigh/ 119



                      1st goal: 139 (earlier weight)
                      what the rungs mean to me:
                      rung 1 - more veggies
                      rung 2 - dairy (some milk in coffee)
                      rung 3 - seeds, nuts (mostly sprinkled on salads)
                      rung 4 - berries, melon
                      rung 5 - wine -
                      rung 6 - beans, hummus
                      rung 7 - other fruits
                      rung 8 - carrots/ potatoes (nah, prolly not)
                      rung 9 - whole grains (fresh Dutch breads...)
                      Major Goal - 128 lbs/ healthy range
                      (on to pre-maintenance)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: What a night!

                        I am sorry you had to make that choice and that she put you into such a difficult position. Smart of you to delete the phone and email. For your own well being a clean break is best and that can be difficult when she sobers up and calls begging for another chance. Bottom line is that some people can never change their patterns and we can't help them want to do so. You are a good friend and believe it or not this last step is also something a good friend would do because to support her bad choices wouldn't do her any favors either. A big hug to you.
                        JILL

                        HW 298
                        HW (this time) 248
                        GOAL ONE 228
                        (take 2)
                        GOAL TWO 213 (personal goal)
                        GOAL THREE 199 ONE-DERLAND
                        FINAL GOAL 165

                        It's not about the results. Its about the process.

                        "I've never come home after a workout and said, MAN, I wish I had NOT exercised today!"



                        Comment

                        Working...
                        X