negative posters

[nat11]

Re: negative posters

"not everyone who contributed to this thead immediately agreed with you? That is how it is divisive."

Well said, Mitzi!

[kline1972]

Re: negative posters

@nat11
Why should I not be able to use a website because a few other people are out of line? If you look at my original post I did say most people are nice here- please dont take me out of context

[pagliaccia]

Re: negative posters

I have never, ever been successful on a diet in the past. Including Atkins, Medifast, and many more. Then I rediscovered Atkins, and subsequently found this board. Since doing that, I have lost 50 pounds and stayed cheat-free for over a year. Tough love works for me. I assure you, those people you call negative aren't just spending what seems like 20 hours a day on this board to berate people. They really and truly love helping people and showing them how to properly do Atkins. They don't simply answer one person's question, they preemptively answer it for the many, many people who will follow. I very rarely start threads asking about Atkins, because I frequently search the forums for similar questions. Because the contributors make sure to give the most correct and straightforward answers possible, I'm able to get answers for questions originally asked 5 years ago. I definitely know what you're saying, and sometimes the wording does sound pretty harsh. But there are absolutely better ways to confront that than by making call-out threads, which are overly dramatic and messy.

[poobears1972]

Re: negative posters

Pooh you are 100 percent correct- They do this repeatedly

Yes but I am also correct that you knew this post would cause drama and by claiming that you only posted you didn't force anyone to respond falls into that same passive agressive category. You knew if you posted there would be responses. You knew it would cause internal bickering, common sense dictates that, yet you chose to do it and deny it. Just like those that choose to bully then deny.

See what I mean? You are adding to the problem and not being the positive example you are wanting others to be.

[kline1972]

Re: negative posters

Poohbear valid points and well taken. But honestly I am just trying to say that the negative posters are getting on my nerves and I am always trying to be positive. I can really see your point and I do not want to emulate and passive aggressive behavior. I really do appreciate this board and the good people do here.

[Carne!]

Re: negative posters

It might be a good idea to conclude that there are those here who, do to their own feelings of inadequacy, feel they need to push others down to feel better about themselves. And then spend your time trying to lift up those who are feeling down, or who happened to be pushed down.

The person who complains about rudeness is making ad hominem attacks. This whole thread is one long Alanis Morisette song.

And Pagliaccia (as in Camille Paglia??? I like her Salon articles!) I too love the tough love. It really works for me. I make enough excuses for myself, I don't need others to do it for me too!

[poobears1972]

Re: negative posters

Poohbear valid points and well taken. But honestly I am just trying to say that the negative posters are getting on my nerves and I am always trying to be positive. I can really see your point and I do not want to emulate and passive aggressive behavior. I really do appreciate this board and the good people do here.

I understand but by posting it you are feeding into the negative behavior and honestly a few probably get a kick out of it. By ignoring and just responding positively to others you aren't feeding into it and hopefully you are showing newbies that not everyone on the board responds the same way.

So now everyone hug and use your power for good

[forbey]

Re: negative posters

Kline,

Unfortunately, you will find, that there are those who, for some ungodly reason, believe that it is there right to shut anyone who disagrees with them down.

You, or I should say we, and I mean all of you who believe tough love doesn't have to be sarcastic, snotty or mean, would be better served realizing that this is a private forum, we are all guests here, and if you believe that one of the BIG DOGS in the forum does something you don't like, the other BIG DOGS will gang up on you.

They will continue to bit at your heels and nip at your ears until you cower into the background and go back to just reading like the rest of the majority of the forum member and leave the REAL work of STROKING EACH OTHER EGOS to the BIG DOGS!

Actually, it is quite pathetic!

forbey

[MarlaSinger]

Re: negative posters

I am new but I have been 'shopping' for a low carb support 'home.' I like this board because of the straight talk. I prefer solid answers.

There are a few other boards I've run into looking around that aren't as straight-forward. I don't need wishy-washy advice when it comes to my health - I get enough of that from friends and family.

I am on day 12 of induction. I've seen other boards where no one really steps up with solid advice. Had I stuck with the first board I'd found, I probably would have eaten diet chocolate pudding with cream and made danishes for dinner, not really changed my eating habits. I just read some posts on another forum where a woman is talking about doing Atkins her own way eating only meat and eggs - when no one steps up to point out the faults, it's condemnation.

I just want those who step up here, you are appreciated by many!

[not2late]

Re: negative posters

kline, I've been a member here a long time and I agree with you that there are times when a post appears to be "negative". But posting a thread about this negativity without giving us ways to improve our writing styles isn't very helpful. So, let's do some role-playing and I'll post as Newbie101 and you can tell us how you would like us to respond in a positive way.

Here we go.

Hi everyone! I'm Newbie101. I just started Atkins 3 days ago and I want to make sure I'm doing everything okay. Here's what I've been eating. Breakfast 4 slices bacon, 5 eggs, 2 cups coffee and 3 Splendas. For lunch I have 3 McDonald cheeseburgers (no bun!) and a diet coke. For a snack I have a few cheese sticks. And dinner I have either chicken, turkey or steak.

how am I doing?

[forbey]

Re: negative posters

I am new but I have been 'shopping' for a low carb support 'home.' I like this board because of the straight talk. I prefer solid answers.

There are a few other boards I've run into looking around that aren't as straight-forward. I don't need wishy-washy advice when it comes to my health - I get enough of that from friends and family.

I am on day 12 of induction. I've seen other boards where no one really steps up with solid advice. Had I stuck with the first board I'd found, I probably would have eaten diet chocolate pudding with cream and made danishes for dinner, not really changed my eating habits. I just read some posts on another forum where a woman is talking about doing Atkins her own way eating only meat and eggs - when no one steps up to point out the faults, it's condemnation.

I just want those who step up here, you are appreciated by many!

Marlasinger:

I absolutely agree. The majority of individuals in the forum are helpful and provide solid advice. They also provide it without being negative are condescending. For those in that category, I truly appreciate what they are doing. The complaint in this thread is that there are those whose philosophy in life mirrors that of Maureen O'Hara's roll in the movie "Only the Lonely". Great movie, the ending is incredible.

As for your journey through Induction, it can be an incredible boost to your feeling of well being and to the way you see yourself.

Good Luck on your journey.

forbey

[poobears1972]

Re: negative posters

Kline,

Unfortunately, you will find, that there are those who, for some ungodly reason, believe that it is there right to shut anyone who disagrees with them down.

You, or I should say we, and I mean all of you who believe tough love doesn't have to be sarcastic, snotty or mean, would be better served realizing that this is a private forum, we are all guests here, and if you believe that one of the BIG DOGS in the forum does something you don't like, the other BIG DOGS will gang up on you.

They will continue to bit at your heels and nip at your ears until you cower into the background and go back to just reading like the rest of the majority of the forum member and leave the REAL work of STROKING EACH OTHER EGOS to the BIG DOGS!

Actually, it is quite pathetic!

forbey

You do realize your posts aren't helping anyone, they are just causing more of the drama that you claim to not like. Bullying works both ways, think some forget that. Keeping things positive does not include bashing others or creating drama even if you dont' like what they do. That puts you down on their level. Not a nice place to be.

So again, lets move forward and show others by example. Not that I believe any board can be totally positive but at least you know you can be. That doesnt' mean being all squishy or sugar coating things. Just be respectful and realize not everyone responds to posters the same way and sometimes you have to check the way you post.

[Farley]

Re: negative posters

*(Stirs the pot)*
/rant
OP: Is it ok for me to ask someone based on the information in a post:
1) Are you reading DANDR (2002)?
2) Are you eating your required vegetables?
3) Why are you choosing to stay on induction?

And, is it ok to suggest that they follow the book's guidelines? I mean it's not THE BIBLE, but it is the way we are *supposed* to be doing business here. It's about healthy weight loss, not just weight loss right?

/rant off

[mitzimarie]

Re: negative posters

Unfortunately, you will find, that there are those who, for some ungodly reason, believe that it is there right to shut anyone who disagrees with them down.

We don't "shut anyone up who disagrees with them"... we close threads when attacks get personal, or are spiraling into nowhere.

You, or I should say we, and I mean all of you who believe tough love doesn't have to be sarcastic, snotty or mean, would be better served realizing that this is a private forum, we are all guests here, and if you believe that one of the BIG DOGS in the forum does something you don't like, the other BIG DOGS will gang up on you.

They will continue to bit at your heels and nip at your ears until you cower into the background and go back to just reading like the rest of the majority of the forum member and leave the REAL work of STROKING EACH OTHER EGOS to the BIG DOGS!

Actually, it is quite pathetic!

Wow... what I find quite sad, is that you actually believe this. You just don't get it... and I don't know any other way to say it.

So now everyone hug and use your power for good

Yes!! Here's mine

Let's all have a most excellent day, OK?

[LateNiteDiner]

Re: negative posters

I'm going to play the politician on this one by attempting to side with both parties even though I know it will fail miserably.

I will concede the point that kline makes in regards to some peoples' responses coming off dry, harsh, or even negative. Sometimes I read responses to posts and think they sound like an answer pulled straight from an encyclopedia with no feeling or adjustment for the personal situation. I also concur that at times, answers come with accusations which leave the original poster feeling stupid or put off from the board. I can certainly see how such responses might hurt the original poster's chances at success.

However, I can also see this issue in a different light. Many come to this site immediately looking for ways to modify the diet to fit their personal preferences. This segment of "Atkins dieters" are not the segment likely to succeed since they have no intentions of following the plan correctly or beyond the quick fix. This is contrary to how the veterans of this board follow the plan. The veterans, as a likely result of seeing these "migrant dieters" come and go, have been hardened from answering the same inane questions daily for months (years). They feel the need to carry the Atkin's banner, and keep newcomers on the straight and narrow path which is the only path that leads to long term success.

Additionally, I would make the analogy to a family where one parent offers love and encouragement while the other maintains discipline and demands respect. I believe that children in this environment, (who likely don't enjoy their mixed environment), are better off in the long run. In the same way, it takes both the loving, warm responses AND the harsh, demanding responses to yield the best results. As a parent who fulfills the latter role, I have to agree that whether you like or dislike the negative reinforcement, it is a necessary counterpart to the warmth that the other half of ADBB's members offer.

Basically, this puts the onus back on kline and others to keep these forums balanced by responding to more posts to offset the negativity (your words; not necessarily mine) with positive reinforcement.