Would YOU be offended?

[grace1959]

I began Atkins on Jan. 5; my sister in law started a medically supervised liquid fast a week later. We both started at Size 2X, I was about 15 lbs. heavier but am 4 inches taller, so we were about the same size. She now weighs 185 and I am 191.

To date I have lost 38 pounds and she has lost 40.

She just came over and gave me a huge bag filled with her old Size 2X clothes! I was so shocked I didn't say anything. Does she really think she is that much thinner than I am?

Also, when we are in social situations the conversation always turns to her diet, which is extreme (700 calories a day) and her extreme exercise (2 times daily workout at fitness center plus she spent $1500.00 on personal trainers as well as a few thousand on the diet). Sometimes I have to pipe up with, "I've lost 38 pounds on Atkins" or nobody would say anything.

Am I being too sensitive? I feel ignored and it is affecting my motivation. ):

[Han]

Re: Would YOU be offended?

you can return those clothes back to her when she gains it all back and MORE!! while you will be thinner than ever!

[Carne!]

Re: Would YOU be offended?

you can return those clothes back to her when she gains it all back and MORE!! while you will be thinner than ever!

agreed. no need to feel offended. she's probably delirious with hunger.

have a steak and some cheesy broccoli and foggetaboutit.

you're losing as much weight as a woman who could be described as anorexic. Isn't that amazing???

[poobears1972]

Re: Would YOU be offended?

Are you doing this for her and everyone else or yourself? Focus on you, yes it's hard to see someone else getting all the attention but those same people will be talking bad about her when she regains it. She hasn't learned a thing from her "diet" except how to starve herself and feel deprived.

My guess is she definitely noticed your loss and is being pissy about it. Trying to take a cheap shot by giving you her too big clothes. She knows they won't fit you, she just wanted to knock you back down. Your confidence and losses were too much for her to comfortably handle.

[Rebbekka Mead]

Re: Would YOU be offended?

Hi!

First, congratulations on making the decision for your new Lifestyle Change! That's terrific!!

With respect to her bringing you her clothes, ask her why she did this - after all, you've lost basically the same as she! Or, you can take a different route (I'm pissy and would do this), just in passing one of these days, ask her if she intended for you to hang on to her clothes for when she'll need them again. HaHa

As for her getting the 'attention', I like to keep my lifestyle change under wraps. I love hearing, "Wow! You look thinner!! What are you doing?" rather than have others [basically] checking me out for my progress before I say anything.

PLUS, as others here said, she is the one that is not learning how to eat properly for her body. She is learning how to starve herself. Is that a lifestyle change - or just a quick fix? My best friend's daughter did that same program (if I'm thinking it's the same). She looked great and we kept encouraging her to continue (after the liquids, she was given counseling on portion control), but like all other (and I do mean OTHER) diets, she gained it all back ... and then some!

So, go ahead. Let her gloat. In the end, you are the one that she will be admiring. You are going to be the one that maintains your weight loss. And, you are the one that will be healthy and happy with yourself in the long run.

Again, congratulations!! Hooray for you!!!!!

Tootles!

[atkinsgal08]

Re: Would YOU be offended?

>>Sometimes I have to pipe up with, "I've lost 38 pounds on Atkins" or nobody would say anything.>>

OK ... I don't have siblings so I don't have anyone to compete with. Seems to me that this is really all about some sort of competition with your sister.

>>I feel ignored and it is affecting my motivation.>>

Motivation comes from within ... if the only reason you're trying to change your life is so that someone will "notice" or so that you can beat your sister, then I think you're probably doing this for the wrong reasons.

It took my mother almost a year to say anything about my weight loss ... and while there were times I found it odd ... she also never said anything about my weight GAIN. That helped me to focus on the fact that outside comments weren't a factor in my decision to get control over my weight gain.

And ... welcome to ADBB!

[poobears1972]

Re: Would YOU be offended?

My sister hasn't said a word about my weightloss. Not a peep. In fact no one in my family (except Dh and the kids) has other than my Mother telling me I'm getting too skinny. They are more than happy to pig out with me while I'm getting fat but I think when they see I'm committed to getting thin it makes them a little self concious about their own size and habits. I know it would me if the tables were turned so I try not to take it personally or push my WOE on them.

[Summerdressgirl]

Re: Would YOU be offended?

agreed. no need to feel offended. she's probably delirious with hunger.

have a steak and some cheesy broccoli and foggetaboutit.

you're losing as much weight as a woman who could be described as anorexic. Isn't that amazing???

so true!

[Summerdressgirl]

Re: Would YOU be offended?

Yah, don't take it personally she probably thinks like a lot of people out there..you won't last in this new WOE, or you will gain it all back because atkins sucks! just think about it she is spending all that money to be hungry all day long..how long do you think she will last? not much then you can give her back her bag of clothes, plus the one you no longer need and all that money you saved from not doing it her way will go towards new clothes for you! That is how you stick it to her and everybody else.

[Summerdressgirl]

Re: Would YOU be offended?

Btw...save that bag of clothes she gave you in the closet and use it as a motivator! every time you see it, you can say no way will I fit into anything in there!

[MarlaSinger]

Re: Would YOU be offended?

If you really want to make a point, put on the largest outfit in the bag, and show up at her house swimming in it

Have a good laugh and take her to the mall so you BOTH can try on some new duds in your new bodies!

[Peytonn]

Re: Would YOU be offended?

the words 'sister in law' sums it up for me.......

think of all the cool food you can buy with that cash she's wasting...

[Peytonn]

Re: Would YOU be offended?

If you really want to make a point, put on the largest outfit in the bag, and show up at her house swimming in it

Have a good laugh and take her to the mall so you BOTH can try on some new duds in your new bodies!

now THAT is a great idea... (the show up in the biggest outfit... ).. and I wouldn't even say a word.. just act like I thought it fit.. lol

[cleochatra]

Re: Would YOU be offended?

I think your sister in law is suffering so much more than you are that people are going to give her kudos. She might also whine. A lot.

I mean, here you are, enjoying life, your lifestyle, your food, and you've lost to what she's lost. She's had to stop eating and exercise like she's in boot camp. Who's the one who needs more support?

The whiney wheel always gets the "Aw poow widdle babay!" and the person who slims down seemingly effortlessly gets the side eye.

[WetBanana]

Re: Would YOU be offended?

I've actually had somebody give me her cast off's before that she said were too large for her...and she was bigger then me. The clothes were much too large, and overly stretched out, so I didn't even bother using them - I just thanked her nicely, and when she went home I put them into a bag and gave them to goodwill.

We are still great friends, and while I remember the incident, I certainly don't hold it against her. Some people just wear goggles when looking at other people. They don't pay attention to what's going on in other people's lives, so they don't even realize when something is going on - such as you losing weight as well.

Water under the bridge