stupid husband!

[Miss Phode]

Re: stupid husband!

Wanna,

Thanks for noticing. It's strictly for comic value. I was gonna leave out the part about "just kidding" but I figured I'd offend lot's of folks.

[womanpraised]

Re: stupid husband!

"Good grief. The guy didn't abuse, cheat or abandon her. Try to work it out, pdueck."

In agreement. If you loved him enough to commit to better or worse, till death do us part, then this is certainly worse... But you loved him enough to marry him, seems like this is something that can be worked through if you both want to.

[wannabethintoo]

Re: stupid husband!

Wanna,

Thanks for noticing. It's strictly for comic value. I was gonna leave out the part about "just kidding" but I figured I'd offend lot's of folks.

I would have left it out.

[Peytonn]

Re: stupid husband!

I have about ZERO tolerance for lies... PERIOD.

[Goofy]

Re: stupid husband!

"Good grief. The guy didn't abuse, cheat or abandon her. Try to work it out, pdueck."

In agreement. If you loved him enough to commit to better or worse, till death do us part, then this is certainly worse... But you loved him enough to marry him, seems like this is something that can be worked through if you both want to.

Let's see....

1. Abuse - I'd say he's inflicted plenty of mental abuse on her...is this not what she's going thru now?

2. Cheated - Oh, yeah...cheated her right out of a family or at the very least the decision to NOT have children.

3. Abandon - Certainly abandoned her feelings.

What a seflish, thoughtless loser! I can't even imagine what was going thru his head that he would enter a marriage with a lie like this. This isn't simply a lie from his past that she can just 'get over' and move on....this is a life altering lie that is now affecting her future and she deserved to know the truth before entering into a marriage.

Had his friend not spilled the beans, I highly doubt he ever would have fessed up to it. Can you imagine what she would have gone thru if they had 'tried to conceive' with her not knowing the truth?? It took us a LONG time to get PG the first time and it was a very stressful time in our marriage. Imagine going thru all that stress and disappointment only to find out that you never had a chance to begin with.

I agree with one of the first posts....sounds like grounds for an annullment. RUN to the best lawyer HIS money can buy!!

[pdueck]

Re: stupid husband!

hi everyone i know this topic has been a very contreversial thing.. I have gone from siding with the people who said I should leave to the people who think I should work it out. I love this man... he is my husband, I loved him for many different reasons before we got married , and I still love him now. Yeah Im pissed, Im angry , Im confused , but I want to try. We talked and Im trying to understand his point... he was seeing a lady for six years before I met him and she constantly cheated on him and he didnt know what to do, his nephew died drowning, his friend went through some hard times when there new born baby was diagnosed with cancer... I think he was afraid to have kids and have them suffer, die or not being able to bring them up properly. I must stress that Im at fault too he did say he did not want kids in the beginning...but I thought he would change his mind. My husband is not a mean person, everyone loves him ...wherever we go , he is constantly smiling and everyone seems to smile with him, including me. We are going to set up a meeting with a counsellor, I think its the best thing to do.... Thank You everyone for all your opinions, advice and shared anger! Now lets get me back to losing some weight!

[not2late]

Re: stupid husband!

Good for you that you made a decision about this situation. Give the marriage counselor a chance, by the way.

[Barbde]

Re: stupid husband!

Good luck to you Pduek. Only you know what is right for you

[Twisti]

Re: stupid husband!

I personally would be soooooooooooooooo pis&ed off!!!!

[wannabethintoo]

Re: stupid husband!

Good luck and I hope everything works out the best for you.

[IceQueenJ]

Re: stupid husband!

wow...

I'd be out of my mind with anger!!

I hope you can work through this!

[hther]

Re: stupid husband!

Brooke.....you said a mouth full!!! Great job. That is exactly what it was I wanted to say...the only difference in what Brooke said and I said earlier on is I just cus'd and cursed about him. I feel bad for you pdueck....I don't know what exactly I would do..but I do know that I would be P-I-S-S-E-D.

[mrslee44]

Re: stupid husband!

ok a couple of things.

Do you love him enough to forgive him and move past the lie? If no, then you know what you have to do. If yes then the next set of questions are:

Do you want kids? If no, then great no problem and you don't have to take Birth Control.
If the answer is yes then the procedure is reversible, but it cost big bucks and not usually covered by insurance.

Why would his friend tell you he'd been snipped? Then he tell you he wasn't, but just has low sperm count. Personally if it were me, I would pack my bags and run into the night without a forwarding address.

Good luck no matter what you decide.
Robin
Hugs

[Lisa M]

Re: stupid husband!

Best wishes on working through this.

I know this is becoming a "dead horse", but I have to say, he lied, but you took him as he was with knowing up front what he wanted in this marriage and accepted the terms.

I totally agree that some kind of counseling would benefit this early marriage before regrets and stuffed emotions come up later in life.

Now you can use this built up frustration and energy into a great exercise marathon this week

[pdueck]

Re: stupid husband!

Hi again!
to answer some ??'s
Do I love him enough to get past this? Im certainly going to try, a month before we got married the doctor told us he could have colon cancer, due to several tests, or even possibly crohns disease... and I was scared as **** but I wanted to stay and take care of him ... but luckily the tests finally came back negative.

Do I want kids? Yes & No , Im 30 years old and I dont know if I want kids but I wanted to have a choice later on down the road... so yes.. Im pissed off , I wanted to leave him but I had to sit down and think about it, because he did say he did not want kids previously... believe me Im still hurt but not to the point that I want to hurt him by leaving him.

Why would his friend tell me he's snipped? Well we went to his friends 20th anniversary and I was saying how cute his daughter was and that perhaps I'd like to have a child later on... and he said but "he's snipped, isnt he? and after the night was over I confronted my husband.

If and when I want to have kids we will have to get it reversed or perhaps adopt. He did say he was open to this, He also said that he did not want to bring another child into this world when there are so many out there without parents.