Reasons to be married...

[cmcole]

Re: Reasons to be married...

I'd agree with BikerGoddess and others who have said that staying with someone who has had second thoughts about spending forever with you may not be the wisest move on your part.

A shame that you're already living together, but as stated by another, it still doesn't give you very many rights and privileges in the legal system.

I think you need to step back and re-evaluate the whole situation, and if it takes living apart, then that may be the route to go. I'd want to be with someone who was devoted to making a commitment to spending the rest of his/my life together, but that's just me, perhaps.

You've been given a lot of advise, but obviously you need to do what your heart feels is best. Do you have an unbiased person who you can unload on, just for another perspective?

[sheropesem]

Re: Reasons to be married...

Hello there. I feel sooooooo bad for you. I have to say...my first BIG love...my daughters father...refused to marry me. I was with him for almost 6 years. But...what I finally had to realize is...MY DREAMS AND HOPES ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS HIS. And.....eventually I left. And you know....because I had the door OPEN to meet the man of my dreams...I did. And marriage is as wonderful as I always thought it would be. We also have a wonderful son. And he treats my daughter as his own. I also truly TRULY beleive that being married makes a huge difference in your heart. A good one. So go with your dreams. Good luck to you.

[FightingTheFight]

Re: Reasons to be married...

I don't know why everyone always wants to be in relationships and get married and kids and all that other stuff.

I say, pay attention to yourself for a while, concentrate on making yourself happy, not making someelse feel that have to be the one to make you happy. Who wants that baggage?

I think people have this idea that they have to get married, or have to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. You don't.

all I want is the call from Comcast saying I can have Cable internet, its not to much to ask for!!

Life is complicated enough without you complicating it more.

[cleochatra]

Re: Reasons to be married...

Marriage bonuses:

1) Increased tax rates because we're special
2) No more need for sex
3) You can wear sweat pants
4) Gay people want to do it, too, so hey!


Really, though, I like what Laura had to say about the issue. If you want marriage and he doesn't, then find someone you share that goal with. I applaud your introspection!

[speedygt03]

Re: Reasons to be married...

I don't know why everyone always wants to be in relationships and get married and kids and all that other stuff.

Clearly thats just your own personal opinion but not many people want to be alone for their entire life......thats insane. You might as well go live in a whole and steer clear from the entire world.

[FightingTheFight]

Re: Reasons to be married...

learly thats just your own personal opinion but not many people want to be alone for their entire life.

Wow, Thats some amazing perception. Obviously it was my opinion, or I wouldn't have started the sentence with "I".

I never said for your entire life, but the way it seems to me( again a personal opinion, you might want to point it out again just incase others don't get it ) is that people are always wanting to be in relationships. They go from one another, never getting any alone time. Its sad really, always having to be withsomeone to complete oneself.

I never said I was against marriage, I just feel(hehe theres that I again) that to many people rush into it, feel they need to be married, or are just plain scared to be alone.

[wannabethintoo]

Re: Reasons to be married...

Wow, Thats some amazing perception. Obviously it was my opinion, or I wouldn't have started the sentence with "I".

I never said for your entire life, but the way it seems to me( again a personal opinion, you might want to point it out again just incase others don't get it ) is that people are always wanting to be in relationships. They go from one another, never getting any alone time. Its sad really, always having to be withsomeone to complete oneself.

I never said I was against marriage, I just feel(hehe theres that I again) that to many people rush into it, feel they need to be married, or are just plain scared to be alone.

Ohhhhhh, to have some alone time....what would I give? And the toilet seat would ALWAYS remain down.

[MotherOfGizmo]

Re: Reasons to be married...

Why would you have to "steer clear from the entire world" just because you didn't want to be in a committed relationship sealed with a piece of paper? I have several single friends who are very active socially who aren't married, never been married and say they never want to be married..what's wrong with that? Some people don't feel they have to "belong" to another human being to be whole...they are just fine with themselves and friends.

[FightingTheFight]

Re: Reasons to be married...

Exacty!

MOG <img>

[cleochatra]

Re: Reasons to be married...

I still stand by my sweatpants statement.

[MotherOfGizmo]

Re: Reasons to be married...

I still stand by my sweatpants statement.

I live in sweat pants and XXL sweatshrits and t-shirts, and I'm not married.

[speedygt03]

Re: Reasons to be married...

I don't know why everyone always wants to be in relationships and get married and kids and all that other stuff.

I say, pay attention to yourself for a while, concentrate on making yourself happy, not making someelse feel that have to be the one to make you happy. Who wants that baggage?

I think people have this idea that they have to get married, or have to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. You don't.

all I want is the call from Comcast saying I can have Cable internet, its not to much to ask for!!

Life is complicated enough without you complicating it more.

wow, your obviously a...nevermind. I wasnt talking about marriage, you also did say boyfriend\girlfriend, which came off to me that you are saying why would anyone want a boyfriend\girlfriend.

I simply replied, seeing as though IT WAS YOUR PERSONAL OPINION (yeah i got that) THAT MY OPINION was there are SOME people in this world who would like to be with a companion and not be alone their entire life! Maybe there are others out there who dont want to have an attitude 24\7. Ever think of that?
Im ALSO NOT SAYING that all single people wish they were married, or boyfriend\girlfriend, i also have friends who are single. not just you, and everyone of them is either someone who goes out every single night trying to occupy their time b\c when they just sit around they think about being with someone, or they become....well....a not well respected woman.

Some of the people here, I wouldn't be able to get along without, but as for the rest, Why must you think that everyone is jumping at you PERSONALLY? As for you Fightingthefight, don't treat me like im stupid and cannot understand, maybe if you'd open your mind to more than just YOUR OPINION you wouldnt have this negative effect on anyone. THAT IS ALSO JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION, INCASE YOU DIDNT CATCH THAT.

[MotherOfGizmo]

Re: Reasons to be married...

Clearly thats just your own personal opinion but not many people want to be alone for their entire life......thats insane. You might as well go live in a whole and steer clear from the entire world.

Hmm, well you said "thats insane"...why? And you said there are "not many people who want to be alone for their entire life" how do you know that? Just based on the number of people that I know personally I would say that as far as averages go there are alot more of them out there then you may realize! That plus some people like to go out everynite, it is not because they are desperate and lonely, they like being able to do what they please, where and when they want to, without having to answer to anybody (spouse or s.o. doesn't matter). Some people are happier alone...that is a fact. Some people are happier in a relationship and that is a fact too. Some people don't know what they want, another fact.

Another thing I've noticed, it seems that people who are married (even when they are miserable) spend a lot of time and energy trying to convince unmarried people that they're freaks or something if they have no desire to be married. I think its more of a "misery loves company" type syndrome.

BUT, all of the above is just MY opinion.

[cagirl1]

Re: Reasons to be married...

I was in a simialr situation with my now fiance. After many tears and trying to figure out how to convince him to see the light and marriage is a good thing I came to the easiest conclusion. I knew marriage was very important to me...he had never mentioned this before so I wondered about his motives. In the end I didn't want to give him some ultimatum but told him I don't want to date endlessly, nor do I plan to "shack up" so if marriage and a family is something he can't see for himself then I need to go my separate way and find someone that does. I meant it.
About 2 months later on a trip to Vegas he suprised me and proposed. We are gettin married in October. Good luck to you.

[cleochatra]

Re: Reasons to be married...

OK, Karen. Good point.

I still stand by the gay thing, then!