At MY age?!!

[Jerzaka]

Just curious... How old were you when you had you last child? Did anyone decide to have children late? If so, how did it work out for you?

My husband and I are toying with the idea of having a baby. However, I just turned 39 (May 22) and aren't sure if the age thing is going to play more of a factor than we realize.

I have two children (boys, 16 & 13) from a previous marriage that we're raising together. However, he has no biological children of his own.

Anyone?

[Coop2004]

Re: At MY age?!!

My brother married for the second time in 1994 (he had no children from his first marriage). He was 43 at the time and his wife was 39. Although my sil had 2 children from a previous marriage (and 1 grandchild to boot), they had a child in 1996 when my brother was 45 and my sil was 41!!

[iyamamaschke]

Re: At MY age?!!

Lots of People are having children later I say if you want a BABY go for it. I still go through my head the IDEA of having 1 more I have 3. I am not your AGE but, if you want to have a child and your husband does too, then why not that baby is gunna be sooo LOVED!!!

Sarah

[Desertthorn]

Re: At MY age?!!

I have a great friend who had twins at 39. She said they were the best thing that ever happened to her. She is also a E8 in the Army, and has her own contracting business. Go for it!!! Children are great fun

[Atkid]

Re: At MY age?!!

I just turned 43 this month and would love to have another but since I suffered 4 miscarriages between my second child and third child my family believes I shouldn't go there no more. Happily I was able to get my girl after having two older boys. My sister got pregnant at 42 for her 6th child. Go for it especially since this will be his first biological.

[staziaw]

Re: At MY age?!!

Hey sweetie. Well, one of my best girlfriends had her son at 40, and another is trying to get pregnant now at 39. It seems to be the trend lately, to have children later in life. And since 40 is the new 25, why not go for it if you really want a child. The more children who enter the world wanted and loved, the better!

Good luck!
Stacy

[mwalsh95]

Re: At MY age?!!

If you are in good health GO for it!! I heard in the news there as a women how had a child in her 60's. They have been saying lately that the 30's are the new 20's and the 40's are the new 30's and so on. In the new age women are healthy and stronger than in past years, although I had a grandmother who had a menopause baby back in the 1950's and she was just fine. Consult your doctor and I bet he will say o.k. They may watch you more closely, but if it's what you and your husband want NO you are not too old!!

[ttdriver]

Re: At MY age?!!

All I can say is, children take ALOT of energy. I suppose it depends on the person, but speaking as a child of a 40 year old mother, I hated it. She was always too old to play with me when I was little and as I grew up, she was even more tired. I never wanted that for my kid. I wanted to have them YOUNG so I could enjoy them, play with them, and live to see them grow to have a family of their own.

Betty

[Atkid]

Re: At MY age?!!

All I can say is, children take ALOT of energy. I suppose it depends on the person, but speaking as a child of a 40 year old mother, I hated it. She was always too old to play with me when I was little and as I grew up, she was even more tired. I never wanted that for my kid. I wanted to have them YOUNG so I could enjoy them, play with them, and live to see them grow to have a family of their own.

Betty

I can appreciate your opinion from the other side of the situation. One of my best friends in grammer school mother was 38 when my friend was born and she always seem more to me like her grandmother than her mother so I can see where you are coming from.

[loana]

Re: At MY age?!!

I just had what I keep thinking is my last last year at 26 years old.. I am sure we are done.. have three beautiful healthy boys

[omnimomma]

Re: At MY age?!!

My husband and I are both children of older parents. My dad was 45 when I was born and my mother was 43. My only brother was 18 years older than I. My grandmother told me that when my father found out that my mom was pregnant with me, he sat at her kitchen table and cried. He was so afraid that he wouldn't live to see me grown. I can happily say that he did, and that I count it as a privilege to be the child of older parents. I was extremely close to both of my parents. They always seemed to have plenty of time for me.

My husband's father was 41 and his mother was 39 when he was born. Again, he was extremely close to them. They were always so proud of him (he was their only child).

If you're healthy, and want a baby, go for it. They do take a lot of energy, but with what you're doing to improve your life by following this WOE, you should have plenty! They will bring such joy to your old age!

[sadie147]

Re: At MY age?!!

I'm on the other side of this... I don't have kids at all, I was going too, then changed my mind a couple of years ago ...I've had to deal with alot of my family's children (most good, some bad experiences), and as well my husband has a daughter who is 14, i've been with him since she was just a bit over 1. I'm now 37 and my husband will be 47 this year..we both plan on retiring early (fingers crossed). Neither of us wants to be still raising a kid in our retirement. It seems selfish, but because I have so many kids in my life I really don't feel like i'm missing out.

I agree with betty about the energy too, i'm only 37 and i think a 1 or 2 yr old would exhaust me (i get exhausted watching friends and neighbours do it LOL).

JMO, everyone really looks at motherhood differently, I think if you really want to do it deep down, then you should listen to your instincts.

[Atkid]

Re: At MY age?!!

I just had what I keep thinking is my last last year at 26 years old.. I am sure we are done.. have three beautiful healthy boys

Aww you know you will go for that girl. Everybody needs at least l of each. Time will tell.

[Jerzaka]

Re: At MY age?!!

You've all given me a LOT to think about. Thank you. I guess my fear is for my husband really. He's great with my boys, but that's just it, they're MY boys.

Even though we raise them as our own, I'm afraid that if god forbid I die, they will not continue to have any relationship with him. It could happen. It's just different when they're your own children. There's no getting around that.

We all know someone that has had a hard time with their parents and their parents drive them crazy, but they're your parents, so you love them anyway. There's no way you can't. But, it's not the same with step parents... if something happens and he remarries......he still doesn't have a child of his own.

I mean, who's going to visit him in the old age home. Who's going to invite him over for Thanksgiving dinner. Who's going to call him and make sure he's...whatever. You know what I mean?

Let me tell you though, he's scared to death right now... at the prospect of having a child. He too wants to retire early and play golf (as if! hehe). But, I think he may regret this possibility as time marches on. When I first broached this subject with him, (and after the shock of what I was saying) I saw a smile. Not a hint of a smile, but a bonified smile.

The funny thing is that I'm debating all this with the ego of a maniac! Who says I can even GET pregnant at this age? I (think I) have some time to mull it over.. I told him I wanted him to think about it over the summer, while I'm getting my weight a little more under control. It's sooo hard to even comprehend right now... My kids are sooooo "self sufficient" at this age. Well, almost, but you know what I mean. It would be back to square one and that would mean, lemme think, 36 years of HARD MOTHERING! Wow!

[ttdriver]

Re: At MY age?!!

I mean, who's going to visit him in the old age home. Who's going to invite him over for Thanksgiving dinner. Who's going to call him and make sure he's...whatever. You know what I mean?

I know what you mean, but .. there is NO GUARANTEE children will do those things for you anyway. I know alot of people who have kids so they will take care of them when they get older, but the truth is, not every child feels they have an obligation to do that for their parents.

IMO, having children *just so they'll be around for you later* isn't the right reason to have them. Children are not insurance for old age companionship.

Betty