Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

[didy]

Re: Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

My problems are at the church. I didn't want everyone knowing why I didn't have all that "fellowship" cuisine of cake, cookies, coffee, etc. But I didn't want to announce my diet and have them all watch over me.

So, every sunday, I turn down the offers and temptations. Sometimes I resent the comments of "come on and help us get rid of these" (what am I, the trash buggy?), "why aren't you having any?", and my favorite, "this is SINfully delicious" (exactly why we shouldn't have that garbage in church of all places).

Maybe what you are going through sounds similar. I've put myself in this place of not telling them, but wishing they could be sensitive to what they're doing to me (and everyone around us). I'm suddenly aware of all the trash people are asking me to throw down my throat-but I have to play nicy-nice.
Since I am a very outspoken person, it really pushes me to keep quiet and stay with my resolve not to tell them all.
didy

[Analog6]

Re: Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

I understand what you are felling, but I've gone in the exact opposit diurection. I tell EVERYBODY! Help keep me on the straight and narrow because I'll feel like such a klutz if I fail. I manage a community technology centre, and we have a seniors computing club. Now ehen they come in they all ask how is it going, comment on how good I look - it is a real lift and great encouragement.

Just say the doc has told you to cut out sugar and wheat for a while - no further explanantion necessary. If the friends persist, just say you don't want to discuss it.

[ValidRouge]

Re: Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

Unfortunately you aren't going to change the "cake culture" at your job. At my job it's bagels and donuts. However I've decided to wear every bagel and donut that I pass up as a BADGE OF HONOR to myself that I can do this. I feel soooooooo proud of myself every time I pass up something that I'm not supposed to eat, but the ante is upped when it's something like cake or donuts.

[wayless]

Re: Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

Thanks, everyone. I'm so glad that this will not likely be much of an issue after Friday (at least not to this degree). This just seems INSANE for the last two weeks (I've been on Atkins for three weeks now). It's just a lot of pressure this early on, especially because I've been trying to keep myself away from these kinds of situations.

Two more days, and I don't want to think about it at work again. I never imagined work would be such a challenge. But then, I didn't know when I decided to start the diet that we'd have so many birthdays and a going away. This sucks...LOL

Oh well...I kinda cheated on my own tonight. I had two Atkins Advantage bars today. To make up for it (sort of), I did a second workout tonight with WATP. I felt really guilty. I don't know why I caved, but it's the first time I did. I don't want it to become a habit, though. Maybe it's all this talk of cake.

On second thought...no excuses. I was just weak and caved in.

[2big4mysize]

Re: Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

I just have one question.
How do you think she would feel if she knew she was temping you to sabatage your diet with her cakes she is lovingly baking for you? if she cares for you as much as you do her them we all know she would be mortified. I hope you have confided inher about your new WAY of eating without sugar and flour so you both can have a joyous final day together.

[Mary-chan]

Re: Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

I can totally respect that. As soon as you let people know you are on a diet, they ask you about it at every free moment, every day!!

A line everyone seems to say is "Are you allowed to eat <insert food>?"
My favourite repsonse is: "I'm allowed to eat whatever I want, but I choose not to eat <insert food>!"

You have every right to be angry about the cake society pushing their wares!

I use that line too, it really helps me to feel less resentful!!

I hate hate HATE when someone says "you can't have that"... I want to SCREAM at them!!!! I CAN eat it as a matter of a fact.. I can physically put it in my mouth and eat it and would live.. I choose not to eat it however!!

[wayless]

Re: Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

I just have one question.
How do you think she would feel if she knew she was temping you to sabatage your diet with her cakes she is lovingly baking for you? if she cares for you as much as you do her them we all know she would be mortified. I hope you have confided inher about your new WAY of eating without sugar and flour so you both can have a joyous final day together.

No, I have opted not to discuss my weight at work, at all. Discretion isn't exactly her middle name. LOL I don't want it to be an issue or discussion there. She would still bake, but she would just watch me and make sure that I'm "good," and she would make sure everyone else around knows to look out for me.

She's leaving Friday, so I'll wish her well and refrain from the cake (as I have for the past week or so). I love her to death, but with my new WOE, I'm kinda (in a sick, warped SELFISH way) glad that she's moving to a new department. She would have been an ongoing challenge for me. Nobody else in the department constantly cooks the way she does, so...WHEW! Once she's gone, this should not pose a great a challenge as it has recently.

[wayless]

Re: Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

One more thing...to let you know what kind of woman I'm dealing with, she IDOLIZES Paula Dean on the cooking channel. She has a photo of her and Paula hanging on her wall from where she actually met paul in Georgia. She owns EVERY ONE of Paula's cookbooks, and is working on Martha Stewart's cookbooks now. LOL

She is the only woman in a home that raised five boys, and a very chauvenistic husband, so she is used to catering to people. This woman still grocery shops for her boys (all over 21), pays their bills and does their laundry. For her, she just wants people to love her cooking, that's how she feels loved...seriously. I know she doesn't mean any harm with her cooking. If I weren't on Atkins, it would be great. But I am on Atkins, so it's not anymore.

[cruiser gal]

Re: Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

I have rejected many a cake over the last 11 months, and don't regret it at all. At first everyone tried to get me to eat a piece, and they would put it right in front of me. I would just leave it there, and not touch it. Last Sunday, at DH's son's birthday party, his girl friend, just skipped me over, when serving the cake, and said, oh, she doesn't eat cake, so more for us!! Maybe they finally learnt, but I know dh's mother will still try to tempt me, just can't get through to that woman She's about 75 lbs over weight. I guess misery loves company!!!!

[divaindubai]

Re: Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

Hey wayless!

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time with work and them practically trying to force you to eat sweets, etc (even if its out of love as you said).

Its sad how we always treat people with food, etc, out of nice gestures. I think it exists in many cultures.

Here in the Middle East, in the days when they lived in tents like Bedouin, you weren't welcomed into their village unless they offered you tea and dates or something to eat. At my office, there are usually sweets going around to celebrate just about anything.....a new car, new baby, getting a driver's licence..etc etc.. I just don't even bother having any sweets. Its not as forced as it seems to be with you, as far as me feeling the same pressure to eat the sweets or cake, etc. But its still difficult.

Hopefully you can stay strong and not go off your plans and goals, just for a piece of cake...

[ttdriver]

Re: Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

I know how you feeel exactly, I dont' like telling people I'm dieting either. Even though it's completely obvious, I mean I've lost 75 pounds, not something that just kind of happens, you know, lol. I'm just a very private person by nature. If I happen to tell someone I'm on atkins they make the occasional annoying comment and it always makes me mad, so I like to keep it to myself. Or they ask me how much weight I've lost - to me that's not that different then asking my weight - it's none of their business.

You'll do great, temptations will always be around in one form or another. These cakes are just a different form. And each time you resist one of these cakes you're making yourself stronger and more able to fight temptation in the future.

I so agree.

I've been on Atkins for 4 years and have faced non-stop temptations to this day. Its about changing the way you look at that crap. Cake was always a huge temptation for me. But now, when I see it, I think to myself "poison". And it truly is that! Think what cake has done to you in the past. Think how you never want to be that way ever again. Think how it has robbed you of energy, made you moody, etc. All the bad things. Soon you will be repulsed by it! (HONEST!)

Betty

[wayless]

Re: Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

Well, I walked into the office today and there was this "Chocolate Decadence" cake. I didn't touch it. Thank GOD they didn't offer me any. I didn't have to use an excuse. Tomorrow's party is the finale. It'll be nice to get on. LOL

On another note, I smelled lasagne or something in the halls, and my brain did something SO WEIRD! My immediate, thoughtless, reaction was "that stinks!" Then my conscious reaction was, "No that doesn't. That smells good!" Then, my mind immediately thought, "No it doesn't."

I thought to myself, "Sybil." LOL Obviously my mind is already starting to re-wire me...it just hasn't gotten down to the cake, yet. LOL

[Elizellen]

Re: Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

Well, I walked into the office today and there was this "Chocolate Decadence" cake. I didn't touch it. Thank GOD they didn't offer me any. I didn't have to use an excuse. Tomorrow's party is the finale. It'll be nice to get on. LOL

So have you worked out your strategy for coping with the party so you can enjoy yourself?

I find that if I am prepared (i.e. eat beforehand, take some snacks with me etc) I can navigate my way through the temptations without a second thought.

[wayless]

Re: Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

Well, I asked a different co-worker about the menu, and it's pretty much stuff I can't touch: ANOTHER FREAKIN' CAKE (that's 6 in a week or so -- in case anyone's counting); fruit platter, chips/dip. I just don't plan on eating there. The food is being provided by the department. I don't know what else to do. I just want it to be over. I just want to go and get out.

[Lyssie]

Re: Is it okay for me to be angry (or at least irritated)?

Hey, I hope everything went well with the party! When I did my first round with Atkins years ago, my step-mother was so proud of herself for getting me to lose weight that she told everyone in the office where we worked. It was really annoying having *EVERYONE* you work with watch what you're eating for you. Where I am now, some people know that I stay away from carbs, some don't. I was having a really horrible day and was binging on a low-carb chocolate covered whateverness bar, one of the women I work with came over, stood right next to me and said "are you allowed to eat that". My response, "I'm *ALLOWED* to eat whatever the **** I want". On the other hand, there will always be temptation, and it's hard in the beginning, but it sounds like it's getting easier for you with the whole lasagna thingie... at some point it'll just be like, cake, oh, whatever, I don't even like cake. Yanno? Anyways, good luck!