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People can be so d**n mean!!!
I hate to bring everyone down, especially after such positive posts during check-in, but I have to vent. This really doesn't have anything to do with Atkins, but you guys have been so supportive that I thought you might provide a shoulder to cry on...
As many of you know, my ds is autistic. He's 10. Unless you knew him or you had experience with autism yourselves, you wouldn't know he was autistic to look at him. He's not like Rain Man. He's verbal, though he doesn't always make sense. He doesn't bang his head up against walls or anything like that. At most, you would just think he's a little strange. Many times he gets uncomfortable in some places because of all the people and all the noise. To distract himself he will clap and sing or talk to himself. He sometimes gets loud, especially if he's tired, really bored, or really bothered by something - such as a new store or a really crowded place. We often get stares. Some people smile and talk to him. Some people ignore him. Some people act irritated, but my ds never notices so I never say anything as long as they aren't rude. Believe it or not, autism is so prevalent now (1 in 150 children, 1 in 94 boys) that many people recognize his behaviors as autistic and will sometimes comment on it.
Today we went to a store near us that we frequent quite a bit. I mean, we are in there sometimes 2 or 3 times a month. We've lived in this area since my ds was born and we've been going to this store for ever. It's a small discount store. So many of the people in our town know my ds and accept his behaviors for what they are. Many of them will say hellp to him and smile because they are used to seeing him. For some reason, there is a woman who works in this store that has something against my son. She's been working there about a year. I try to avoid her line. Two previous times, she has made remarks about my son to other customers while we are there - mostly because my ds is loud and I have to keep after him to keep his voice down. I've always ignored her because I keep telling myself that she's not important and my ds never notices anyway.
Today, tehre were two lines to check out. My mil was with us, so I suggested she take one line and I would take the other. While I'm paying for my stuff, I have to remind my ds a couple of times that not everyone wants to hear what he's singing. He argues with me and I tell him that if he is not going to listen then he will not be allowed in the pool this afternoon. This woman is checking out someone in another line. She turns to that person and says, loud enough for me to hear, "I'd throw him in the pool if he were mine." My mil, who's next in this woman's line says, "Hey. Please watch who you're talking about. That's my grandson." This woman says, real snide-like, "It was just a joke." So, I told her, "This is not the first time you've made comments about my son to other customers. I'd appreciate it if you kept your comments to yourself." She says, "I've never seen you before in my life." I told her, "You may not remember me, but I remember every time you've made a remark about my son. He is autistic and can't always help his behavior. You, however, can help your behavior." I wanted to say more, but I was getting upset. I didn't want my ds to get upset, so I left with him to wait in the car for my mil.
A few minutes later, my mil comes out of the store with nothing in her hands. She says, "She wouldn't wait on me." I said, "WHAT?" She said, "She refused to wait on me, said her line was closing. Not only that, but she told me I was arrogant and started laughing. The lady that was waiting on you was laughing, too." Well, she hadnt closed her line. I went back inside and she was waiting on customers, including one of my colleagues from school. I looked at the other lady who had waited on me and asked her manager's name. She told me. Then I asked when she would be in and she said Monday. The first woman said, "I don't care if you tell on me. I did nothing wrong." I told her, "It really doesn't matter if you care or not. And you did do something wrong. You made a snide remark about my son to another customer while I'm still standing there. Both me and my mil get angry, then you call her arrogant and refuse to wait on her. It was arrogant of you to talk about customers in front of their faces. He is a special needs child. Would you make fun of a child with Down's Syndrome? Would you make fun of someone in a wheelchair?" By this time, I'm just about in tears and my voice is shaking. She says, "I didn't know that." I said, " I TOLD you he was autistic. You could have stopped it there or apologized, but you kept arguing with my mil and then refused to wait on her! Who do you think you are?" She then had the audacity to wave at me and tell me "Have a nice day."
I have to tell you, this was the closest I have ever come to doing physical harm to someone. I could have cheerfully snatched the hair off her head. My colleague knew how upset I was (she also has a disabled little girl) and said, in front of this woman, "Cheri, this isn't worth it. Don't even talk to the manager, take it up with the regional manager. She is a nasty person. If she knew anything about [your ds] she would never be saying these things."
So, I left. I have plans to talk to both the manager and the regional manager. I'll take it to the CEO if I have to get some attention. If it had been a one-time thing, I would have dropped it. But it's happened three times. I cannot fathom people being so hateful and nasty. Why? What does it get them? She has no right to treat people that way, especially while on the job.
I've been trying all day to let it go, but it keeps coming back to me. I keep praying to God to help me get passed it, turn the other cheek, forgive her because she doesn't know any better. It will take awhile.
The one thing I can be grateful for is that my ds had no idea any of this was going on. He never sees the bad in people - ever. He only sees the good in people. For that I can be thankful. Because God knows how much I've seen and it makes me angry, sad, and hurt. My son is the sweetest person I have ever had the joy of being around. He wouldn't hurt a flea. We need more people like him in the world. He makes everyone smile...
As many of you know, my ds is autistic. He's 10. Unless you knew him or you had experience with autism yourselves, you wouldn't know he was autistic to look at him. He's not like Rain Man. He's verbal, though he doesn't always make sense. He doesn't bang his head up against walls or anything like that. At most, you would just think he's a little strange. Many times he gets uncomfortable in some places because of all the people and all the noise. To distract himself he will clap and sing or talk to himself. He sometimes gets loud, especially if he's tired, really bored, or really bothered by something - such as a new store or a really crowded place. We often get stares. Some people smile and talk to him. Some people ignore him. Some people act irritated, but my ds never notices so I never say anything as long as they aren't rude. Believe it or not, autism is so prevalent now (1 in 150 children, 1 in 94 boys) that many people recognize his behaviors as autistic and will sometimes comment on it.
Today we went to a store near us that we frequent quite a bit. I mean, we are in there sometimes 2 or 3 times a month. We've lived in this area since my ds was born and we've been going to this store for ever. It's a small discount store. So many of the people in our town know my ds and accept his behaviors for what they are. Many of them will say hellp to him and smile because they are used to seeing him. For some reason, there is a woman who works in this store that has something against my son. She's been working there about a year. I try to avoid her line. Two previous times, she has made remarks about my son to other customers while we are there - mostly because my ds is loud and I have to keep after him to keep his voice down. I've always ignored her because I keep telling myself that she's not important and my ds never notices anyway.
Today, tehre were two lines to check out. My mil was with us, so I suggested she take one line and I would take the other. While I'm paying for my stuff, I have to remind my ds a couple of times that not everyone wants to hear what he's singing. He argues with me and I tell him that if he is not going to listen then he will not be allowed in the pool this afternoon. This woman is checking out someone in another line. She turns to that person and says, loud enough for me to hear, "I'd throw him in the pool if he were mine." My mil, who's next in this woman's line says, "Hey. Please watch who you're talking about. That's my grandson." This woman says, real snide-like, "It was just a joke." So, I told her, "This is not the first time you've made comments about my son to other customers. I'd appreciate it if you kept your comments to yourself." She says, "I've never seen you before in my life." I told her, "You may not remember me, but I remember every time you've made a remark about my son. He is autistic and can't always help his behavior. You, however, can help your behavior." I wanted to say more, but I was getting upset. I didn't want my ds to get upset, so I left with him to wait in the car for my mil.
A few minutes later, my mil comes out of the store with nothing in her hands. She says, "She wouldn't wait on me." I said, "WHAT?" She said, "She refused to wait on me, said her line was closing. Not only that, but she told me I was arrogant and started laughing. The lady that was waiting on you was laughing, too." Well, she hadnt closed her line. I went back inside and she was waiting on customers, including one of my colleagues from school. I looked at the other lady who had waited on me and asked her manager's name. She told me. Then I asked when she would be in and she said Monday. The first woman said, "I don't care if you tell on me. I did nothing wrong." I told her, "It really doesn't matter if you care or not. And you did do something wrong. You made a snide remark about my son to another customer while I'm still standing there. Both me and my mil get angry, then you call her arrogant and refuse to wait on her. It was arrogant of you to talk about customers in front of their faces. He is a special needs child. Would you make fun of a child with Down's Syndrome? Would you make fun of someone in a wheelchair?" By this time, I'm just about in tears and my voice is shaking. She says, "I didn't know that." I said, " I TOLD you he was autistic. You could have stopped it there or apologized, but you kept arguing with my mil and then refused to wait on her! Who do you think you are?" She then had the audacity to wave at me and tell me "Have a nice day."
I have to tell you, this was the closest I have ever come to doing physical harm to someone. I could have cheerfully snatched the hair off her head. My colleague knew how upset I was (she also has a disabled little girl) and said, in front of this woman, "Cheri, this isn't worth it. Don't even talk to the manager, take it up with the regional manager. She is a nasty person. If she knew anything about [your ds] she would never be saying these things."
So, I left. I have plans to talk to both the manager and the regional manager. I'll take it to the CEO if I have to get some attention. If it had been a one-time thing, I would have dropped it. But it's happened three times. I cannot fathom people being so hateful and nasty. Why? What does it get them? She has no right to treat people that way, especially while on the job.
I've been trying all day to let it go, but it keeps coming back to me. I keep praying to God to help me get passed it, turn the other cheek, forgive her because she doesn't know any better. It will take awhile.
The one thing I can be grateful for is that my ds had no idea any of this was going on. He never sees the bad in people - ever. He only sees the good in people. For that I can be thankful. Because God knows how much I've seen and it makes me angry, sad, and hurt. My son is the sweetest person I have ever had the joy of being around. He wouldn't hurt a flea. We need more people like him in the world. He makes everyone smile...
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