My BF likes me chubby

[cyberspacestar]

edited

[Discolemonade]

Re: My BF likes me chubby

My husband also likes me chubby. But he loves me more everyday because it's a real love. I understand what you are going through but you want to do this for you. I had to do it for my health. If I didn't do it I would not be here for as long as I will. I would end up dying of diabetes or a heart attack. If he really loves you then he wants you to live a long and healthy life. Staying on top of your health is the only way to do that. Just some things to think about. I wish you the best.

[Evermind]

Re: My BF likes me chubby

You need to ask him whether he likes you better dead, or alive.

Chubby may be what attracts him, in which case, he's not really the guy for you, since he likes unhealthy women who will develop diabetes and heart disease and die young, leaving him to raise the kids alone.

I've been thin most of my life and gained a ton in the last 10 years. My husband loves me and is attracted to me no matter what the weight, so I didn't really worry about it.

Until I was told by my doctor that I'm prediabetic (nobody in my family has diabetes, but then, nobody is fat) and that the excess weight will be affecting my heart and circulatory system soon.

Whom do you love more, you and your health, or that bf who is being an absolute jerk to you while you're getting healthy?

[Angseu]

Re: My BF likes me chubby

Well, the first question to ask is "What do you want?" Decide what's more important to you and then he's just going to have to deal with it.

I've been up and down weight since I've been with my hubby and he's finally learning that this isn't about him. I want to get healthier, I want to get leaner and lighter. The first thing to go was my chests, and we've both learned to deal with it LOL

[SugarFreeSheila]

Re: My BF likes me chubby

My BF looked at me yesterday and said that he won't be as attracted to me physically if i loose more weight. He said he won't want to be intamate with me... He likes chubby girls... But I feel more confident when the weight is off because I fit into clothes better and can move better. He wants me to put the weight back on and I haven't even finished loosing what I feel i need to loose to feel most comfortable with my body!!

Tell this boy that he has a choice to make - you've already made yours. It might be time to take out the garbage in more ways than one.

[Hoping]

Re: My BF likes me chubby

When your boyfriend is long gone from your life--because by the sounds of it he's a jerk and will eventually abuse you emotionally, believe it or not he's starting to do that now--your body will still be with you.
Your heart will still have to work harder, your legs are going to have to carry the extra weight around, and did you know that if you have belly fat you're more likely to have heart disease?

You've made a choice to lose weight and feel healthy. Stick with it, sweetie.
Be confident. He's just a guy.
So you won't be having sex, so what? It's just sex and you know this.

A person that loves will support you in getting healthy. Your parents, now they truly love you. They want you to be healthy.
Why would you want to be with a man that doesn't want you to pursue your wishes, dreams, goals, etc? If he opposes losing weight now that you're only bf and gf, what will he oppose if the relationship gets more serious?
He has in essence given you an ultimatum and that is not okay. For one, that's not how relationships work and two it's not his body. Why should he be making the choices for YOUR body? I assume you don't tell him what to eat, drink, how to dress, etc.

You are a beautiful kind hearted woman, stay strong and stick to your guns.
It's your body, your health, and your emotional well-being.

My fiancee does not agree with my goal weight, he thinks it's too little weight; however, he fully supports me in losing weight because it's important to me. He knows how unhappy I am being overweight.

Anyway, it sounds as if this guy does not have your best interest in mind.

[slimndown]

Re: My BF likes me chubby

I think Hoping is on the right track. It is important that people be supportive of each others goals to have a good relationship. This is a red flag. Pay attention to it now before you get in too deep.

[misplaced southerner]

Re: My BF likes me chubby

i met my husband when i weighed 150, i gained up to 193 and now i am back down to 150. it was my goal to be the same weight as i was when i met him on our wedding day. i felt that i owed MYSELF,HIM and MY KIDS the BEST wife, mom and me that i can be and i am THAT when i am FIT AND HEALTHY. thank god he still loved me when i was heavier...that says a lot for HIM. not once did he ask me, suggest or otherwise that i lost that weight. his love in unconditional. i think that if at any time, he had suggested that i be something other than what i wanted to be, i would have reconsidered our realtionship. his behavior and attitude toward me, at 150 amd 193 was no different....that man loves me no matter what. you need to do what is good for you and if he does not like it then he does not have your best interest in mind. you can do better than that

[Adena]

Re: My BF likes me chubby

Well put, MS.... though if pressed, I suspect he'd admit you're JUST a little hotter now.

Cyber... I think it's pretty clear we are all concerned about a relationship with someone who would threaten to not want to be intimate if you lost any more weight... clearly his feelings for you AREN'T unconditional -- not to mention that fact that he sounds very controlling, perhaps an even bigger problem.

You need to do what feels best for YOU. Do what it takes to be healthy. Anyone who is worth your time and attention would want the same for you. Best of luck to you!

[Duinai]

Re: My BF likes me chubby

Definately a RED FLAG.

You have to ask yourself what really YOU want.... sex or loving caring supportive BF(husband). Seems like all HE needs is sex with some fat pillow.



Dui

[ttdriver]

Re: My BF likes me chubby

You need to ask him whether he likes you better dead, or alive.

Chubby may be what attracts him, in which case, he's not really the guy for you, since he likes unhealthy women who will develop diabetes and heart disease and die young, leaving him to raise the kids alone.

I've been thin most of my life and gained a ton in the last 10 years. My husband loves me and is attracted to me no matter what the weight, so I didn't really worry about it.

Until I was told by my doctor that I'm prediabetic (nobody in my family has diabetes, but then, nobody is fat) and that the excess weight will be affecting my heart and circulatory system soon.

Whom do you love more, you and your health, or that bf who is being an absolute jerk to you while you're getting healthy?

EXACTLY MY THOUGHT. Anyone who encourages you to be an unhealthy, uncomfortable weight that YOU'RE NOT HAPPY WITH, needs to go bye-bye.
THOSE ARE TOXIC PEOPLE!

Betty

[misplaced southerner]

Re: My BF likes me chubby

well miss adena...TRUE. i ain't gettin' any complaints....it makes things more FUN as i definitely feel MUCH sexier. he treated me no differently before which i appreciated but I felt different being so much heavier. i;d say things are better all the way around now becuase i FEEL better! when i feel good, EVERYONE is good! bless his heart for his unwavering support....no matter my weight!

[guekjian]

Re: My BF likes me chubby

Hey Cyber,

I've been there done that...Your boyfriend is being manipulative...that's all...You need to make choices according to YOUR needs and YOUR desires...everyone else is second place. If you want to live in a world where you are being coerced or blackmailed, well then it is your choice. I left that world 4 years ago when I left my husband of 16 years...I am still getting over all the damage he did to me...Please put a stop to this before the same happens to you...Love is unconditional...that's it, that's all...Good luck...hugs and kisses XOXOXO

[garwil]

Re: My BF likes me chubby

Sorry to be blunt but keep the diet and lose the bloke. You need support right now not emotional blackmail.

I used to be with a girl who used to make me feel guilty if I lost weight. She'd accuse me of cheating or wanting to leave her, and I think it was largely due to the way she felt about herself. I was in that relationship for over 4 years, and I look back on it now and regret all the things I never did, and all the opportunities I never took.

Don't let someone else's lack of self-esteem or confidence destroy yours. I got rid of the girl and over the last few years I've really got myself back on track, emotionally, mentally and now finally physically. I really like who I've become and I'm happier than I've been in a long time.

Like I said, stick with the diet! Good luck!

[LooseShoes]

Re: My BF likes me chubby

Yeah, what they said! I know you think you love him, but his attitude is NOT healthy.

Good luck, I just know that you can do better than him.

I hope none of this hurts your feelings, just some of us have been through bad experiences and don't like to see others (you) hurt in the same way. Lose the weight and find a really good guy, they are out there!