My life as I know it ended

[Pam_C]

Well I left Tennessee May 6th and returned on the 7th. I got the call that I had hoped I never would. My daddy was dead. How could this happen? He was chasing the dog at 6 that morning and by 8 that night he was gone. I fell off the wagon little by little. First 3 cookies and then for 4 days a piece of cake a day. I thought ok now I'll get back to it he would ant me to but Today I had a box of nerds candy. All sugar. No exercise either. I haven't gained anything but I know he would want me to get back on. I am only 25 and thought I would be taking care of him in 30 years. I was daddys little girl. I still believe it is a dream. I really don't even know why I am telling a bunch of strangers this. My 3 year old cries day and night and says she won't return to Texas with me because she thinks her granny will die. I can't take this. Eating doesn't make me feel better and the last week of his life he enjoyed my low carb recipes like pizza and fauxtatoes. I need help. How can I get back to my atkins? I always said the only thing that will make me eat sugar is if someone dies. Where do I start? Am I being selfih to want to get back on atkins and exercise? I feel like I am being disrespectful by trying to go on. I guess I just needed to write this out. I think I feel better. I am going to post this because I think it will make me feel better. I will start again tommorrow I hope. I just need encouragement. Thanks

[Johnny B Goode]

Pam -

I'm truly truly sorry to hear about your father. My most heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

[iyamamaschke]

I am so sorry about your Dad it is so horrible to lose a parent I lost my MOM when I was 14 and got really Fat after that. It wasn't until now that I have been able to stick with it and really want it. I know your dad would have wanted you to get to goal and to feel happy about you. You in your heart know what you need to do and draw on this board for all the support that you need. I will be here for you if you ever need me.

I know it is hard but, the candy won't fill the void of your dad, get a really nice picture of him and put it where you can see it. I am sure he was SOO VERY proud of you and what you have done with your body and your life. He would want you to continue.

Great Big (((HUGS))) from me, do what you need to heal and we will all be here for you.

Sraah

[Pam_C]

Thanks guys. Sarah I guess I knew that but really needed to hear it from someone else. I guess it wouldn't have been polite to say to everyone only bring atkins friendly food but I could have said no to it. I will say that my cousin saw me and bought the book and went to her doctor with it and her doc said go ahead and do it so some good came out of it. I guess it is kind of weird that even in my sorrow I still managed to "turn" 2 carboholics onto atkins. now we have a bet on who can lose more.

[Effie]

Pam, I am so sorry for your loss.

You need to mourn his death, and maybe you feel that concentrating on eating right is taking away from that mourning. It's not. Continue to mourn, or celebrate his life, or whatever you have to do to cope, but treat the eating issue for what it is -- separate and unrelated.

Again, my deepest condolences to you and your family.

[cleochatra]

I lost my mom at 13, and my father 6 years ago.

You have to understand that while death is tragic, it isn't an excuse to abuse your body.

My condolences go with you. Hang in there.

[Tianna]

Hi Pam,

I am very sorry to hear about your father, I lost my grandmother in January this year, very unexpected too. She fell ill one day and she was gone the next day. It was such a shock to everyone. I fell of the atkins wagon as a result, it took a month & lots of courage to start again. I remember thinking to myself that my grandmother would want me to live and be happy with my life and myself. I couldn't disappoint her, she wouldn't want me to be fat & miserable. First week back I lost 9 pounds, the best first week weight loss ever for me. It was like I had her support. So please don't give up, I fully understand how hard it is to pick yourself after this but you have to, you can do this and have full support from all of us here.

I found reading Boards here very helpful, there is so much support.

Just keep writing when ever you feel down.

All the best :hug

Tianna

[KT]

Pam,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't post much and mostly lurk, but I had to write because our stories are so similar. I am your age and I lost my father several months ago. I also have a 3 year old who is devastated at the loss of her beloved grandad who saw her almost every day. I don't have any advice, but I am there with you. All we can do is try to get through the day and never give up faith in ourselves, remembering how much faith our daddy's had in us.

[G-Mom]

I would like to extend my condolences as well. I am so sorry for your immense loss.

[spirittalker]

Truly sorry about your loss :hug Your father would want you to get back to feeling good.

[chickaDee59]

Take Care of Yourself. My Deepest Sympathy and Prayers for you and your Family.

[love2beeamom]

I am sorry about your loss. I lost my dad 7 years ago, very sudden as well. It is hard, and I know I leaned to food for comfort too, but it really doesn't help.. For me it just took time to heal, and lots of prayers.

[Buddrfly]

So Sorry

So sorry for your loss :hug :hug. My father passed away in August of last year :sadblinky. Eventhough you do need to mourn this loss--you also have to ask yourself, what your dad would say to you at this very moment if he were still here? Would he want you to break down and give up on keeping up a healthier you, or would he want you to make sure that you are as healthy as possible so that you can live as long as possible for your daughter ensive :hug :hug :hug

[AllieCat0817]

I am very sorry for your loss. You are grieving right now and need time to heal after such a loss. My daddy died too, Jan 13 2003 and because of his death I started Atkins.

May God bless you and your family.

[Isabeau]

I am so sorry for your loss. :hug